If you spent most of your life overweight and had a boyfriend who loved you for who you were...then, say you lost a lot of weight and other men began approaching you more and (of course) they look so so good & say things about you that make you feel amazing but you know deep down that they wouldn't even give you a second glance if it were 2 years ago....my question is, would you stay with your old flame or take a chance and get with a new guy even though you aren't sure he would stick around if you gained weight again?
2006-06-28 06:10:06 · 35 answers · asked by Gia M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, why on earth would get with any of those losers who probably tell fat jokes all day long with friends and co-workers. How dare you even consider taking a chance just because you lost weight and now have some self confidence. What about what you will do to that poor guy who loved you for you! Does he deserve to get hurt? It's going to make him resent women in general and make it hard for him to trust again. He should reap the benefits of your new slim figure, he should have those same guys that talked about him for being with a fat girl, now turning green with envy. He deserves that, because he fell in love with the true you, your personality, and not with the outer appearance of you. Do what is right, or you are going to end up miserable. I know so many slim girls who get cheated on and dogged out by the same guys you are talking about getting with. They would kill for a chance to have such a nice guy. Don't be foolish sweetie. Stay with this guy, get married, have children. I guarantee you that he won't leave your side during or after childbirth, over the extra weight that you gain. He at least have already validated himself in that department!
2006-06-28 06:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by candy0813 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, let me get this straight. First you said that your boyfriend loved you when you were heavier but now that you lost the weight he might not stay with you if you gained it back? If that's the case, dump him. But if he would still love you no matter what, then you would be totally wrong to leave him cuz you lost weight and other guys are giving you attention. But also, if you are thinking like that, maybe you need your freedom to see that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I know it feels good to get this attention, and maybe you owe it to yourself to explore. But then again, trust me when I say it's not easy to find someone who loves you no matter what. Do you think that you may have been with the guy you are with now because of your weight and you felt like that's the best you could do. If that's the case, then maybe you don't really love this guy and you need to get out of it . Just some things to think about.
2006-06-28 06:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by justagirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to find someone to love you for who you are these days. If you have a man that has loved you when you were "overweight" and never left your side when times were hard and you were depressed and weren't feeling good about yourself. Then, I think that he truly does love you. The question is , do you love him the same?The grass is never greener on the other side. You are right in asking if they would stick around if you were to gain weight again. Because maybe they wouldn't . So, I'd advise you to stay with your friend of all these years. That is of course if you do love him. If you aren't in love with him.... then I would suggest that you part ways for a while until you can clear your head and figure out what it is you want in life. Just be careful not to lead him on if the love for you is gone.. Good Luck in what ever you choose in life. I hope things work out for you.... CONGRATS on the weight loss!! Way to go!!
Blessings
2006-06-28 06:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by swhm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that...first of all your boyfriend deserves someone who is going to stick whether you are skinny or fat. Where you with him only because you thought you could not get anyone else? If so, go play and be careful, but tell the boyfriend first. Then go have some fun, enjoy the attention. There is nothing wrong with your feelings if you are honest with the person you are with. You are kind of a new person, whether it is wrong or right, you are changed. He does need the truth, and then you can experience all the new guys, but if something goes wrong and you want the him back one day, he may tell you to get lost or is all ready hooked up with someone else. Sounds like a good man, so he probably won't be on the market long. So make sure before you burn the bridges. If you want to play, you have to be ready to pay the price....
2006-06-28 06:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not take offense to this please, but you are being as shallow as the men you say would not have been attracted to you two years ago because you were overweight.
The man you are with loves you, and has loved you for something that was abviously inside you, not just outside you. Now, that you are attractive to other men as well, you are wondering whether you should dump him?
The question I have in mind is are you with this guy only because you had no other options before you lost the weight? If so, then I think you owe it to this man to be straight and honest with him. If you love him, then love him and only him and stop worrying about getting in the pants of other men.
I wish you luck and hope you remember that karma comes back on you.
2006-06-28 06:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Raistliin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly would stay with the person that has been with me thur thick and thin literally, becuz you know his love is genuine and these guys on the st, your right they wouldn't give a thick girl the time of day which makes them shallow i know but say you started gaining some extra little pounds so you really think they would stick around what they say are words only to make you feel good and they could get a # keep your mind right and do whats in your heart.
2006-06-28 06:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by QUEEN OF LOS ANGELES 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OLD FLAME! hands down- You gotta be kidding me? Pass up a Man that worships you, unconditionally, for what's possibly a fling, just for a confidence boost. The real problem is that you think you need a man to make you feel good about yourself, and a good looking honey would be an ego boost. Unfortunately, weight loss is not an automatic repair kit for low self esteem. That is your next goal. Stick with the best, and let the rest fo. Say "thanks for the compliment, turn them down, and give your current honey a big kiss."
2006-06-28 06:16:39 · answer #7 · answered by rebecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is y did u stay with your boyfriend? was it because he accepted you overweight or do u really love him. If you love him, these other guys should mean nothing to you, stand by the one who stood by you, Y is it that when we women gain some self confidence we turn away from the said people who were there for us through thick and thin. Do the honorable thing, I'm sure your b/f is even prouder to have ah sexy woman on his arm, i'm sure he loves you even more now. give your love another try.
2006-06-28 06:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like it you are selfish. How can you even think about leaving him only because you now look better. Shame on you that you are even thinking about this. You would gain weight again no ,eter what. Its just matter of time. We all mostly do gain weight and look ugly at one point in our life. IT IS HARD TO FIND LOVE IN LIFE
2006-06-28 06:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stick with my old flame because he's been the one by my side the whole time and the lone who loved me for me. It's obvious that this man loves you uncondiously and really adores you for who you are not what you are on the outside. Stick with girl. I wish yall the best!
2006-06-28 06:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by missdavis1206 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋