How can I keep the "little things" from ruining my relationship? I want to just enjoy life and have fun but..

Question

How can I keep the "little things" from ruining my relationship? I want to just enjoy life and have fun but..
often I find myself frustrated over the "little things" my significant other does or doesn't do. For example, I dont like leaving the house unlocked and he constantly forgets and leaves doors/windows unlocked/open. Or, I often find that he isnt listening to me.. and I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. Anyway, I really do want to have a great time and not always be frustrated or iritated about things. However, I feel like if I am always cool about everything then the same "little things" keeps happening. I feel like communication is always key, so I try to tell him how I feel...so please if you have any other suggestions (besides talking to him), let me know what works for you or what doesnt. MANY Thanks for your insight!

Answer 1

Relationships are difficult no matter what. Things are going to annoy you about any person you are with, just as thing you do will annoy him. It's all about compromise. You need to stand back, take a look at your relationship and decide if you love him enough to overlook his quirks. We all have them. If you love someone enough these little things wont matter. Don't try to change him (or any person) that just causes resentment and you'll be setting yourself up for failure because people generally will not change their personalities. So it's a question of how deep your love really goes. If it's not deep enough do both of you a favor and move on.

Answer 2

There is a saying that goes something like: #1: In the long run, the little things don't matter. #2: Everything is little things. Although this saying has no basis in truth, urbanbutterfly, there is some wisdom within. I would suggest two things: Your bf sounds like the typical guy whose mind is only concerned with three basic things. Food, sex and sports, not necessarily in that order. How you can help this situation is to reward him with small romantic prizes for taking care of the little things in life. If he remembers to lock the door, a small kiss can be rewarded. When he actually hears something important you said, and acts on it a week later just as you told him, then reward him with ♥. These rewards are messages that will get past the brick wall, and he'll eventually add a fourth thing to his list of concerns... romance. For as all romantics know, washing the dishes and vacuuming the floors is just as romantic (often more romantic) as sending flowers. Teach him romance, urbanbutterfly, and the forgotten little things will become fewer and fewer. The second thing is for you. Remind yourself that you love this man with your whole heart and soul as only a woman can do. He is a typical man who is like most other men, so his traits need to be forgiven by love. Remind him with kid gloves when he forgets the little things, and start putting into play the reward system. He'll think he's getting the reward, but you'll know that you're getting the best reward of all. Peace of mind.

Answer 3

Relationships are hard, especially sharing a home together. The little things your other half does is a learned trait and is a part of him. It is a routine that he has done all his life and he is not doing them to make your life miserable. If you will stop and think, there are probably things you do that are irritating to him. I have a philosophy that I live by. If you can't change it, don't worry about it. If you can, then do something about it. Stop worrying. Live life like you are dying. One day at a time and just enjoy being in love and having someone to share your life with. Be adventurous and make memories together. If the little things he does is all that is wrong in your relationship, then don't sweat the small stuff. Don't let it ruin your relationship. Try to find a way to live with his quirks. Just remember, this is part of who you fell in love with. The old saying goes "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!". I hope this helps.

Answer 4

The "little things" are a fact of life. If you find yourself being nitpicky about those little things than perhaps you should take time and evaluate the bigger things. Sometimes, getting irritated about those things can be a symptom of a bigger problem that you don't want to face. You absolutely should tell him how you feel. If he isn't receptive to those and does nothing to improve the situation, then you've really got to take a long hard look at your relationship. Try starting a dialogue about it. Don't just tell him that something bothers you, ask him what annoys him as well. Work together - compromise is key.

Answer 5

Always remember that the only person you truly have control over is yourself. If you see someone doing something that is not in accordance with what you desire it is best to realize that they do things the way they want to because that is how they feel it should be done. Accept other people for who they are. You must sincerely realize that You only have control over what You do. If you get nuerotic about "stuff" then seeing a therapist may be a good idea. Talking to a trained therapist will be of great help.

Answer 6

You'll think this is crazy at first, but try it and see for yourself the results. You'll probably be pretty amazed at how much of a response you'll get.
Sit down with him and open (brace yourself) a Bible to 1 Cor. chapters 7:1-40 and 11:1-12 and read them together. Even if neither of you EVER reads the Bible you will both have to admit that it makes a lot of sense to give in to each other wholly. If it's just you "nagging" him about it, sorry but even if he loves you, your words wont carry much weight. Put another authority in the picture (GOD) and its sure to have both of you swallow some pride and open up to each other more.
Just a suggestion, hope it helps.

Answer 7

In order for any relationship to be successful there have to be (among other things) communication and "give & take." You've tried the communication, but, so far, you don't seem to be getting any "take." A lack of response such as that makes it appear to me that your relationship is already "ruined."
Over time, those "little things" will drive you bananas and doom a relationship. If you can't get your partner to listen and change his behavior (give him an ultimatum), then you'd better start looking for a new, more cooperative/compromising partner.

Answer 8

Maybe he doesn't listen to you because you are too wrapped up in the little things that you are concerned about. Take time to tell him that little things like the example you gave bothers you. If he truly likes you he will listen and accept it, and you will feel more confortable in front of each other.

Answer 9

Smoke Weed.

Answer 10

ask yourself "do I want to be with this person despite the little things?" if you answer yes, then the little things, while still annoying, will make you love even more. if you answer no, then it's time to move on.