So im friends with this girl and were not super close, but im worried about her. See, shes probably never had a "seirious" boyfriend, and when im talking to her in person shes realy happy and upbeat. but her myspace profile makes her look like some kind of a suicidal emo girl. she talks about how she hates love and how so many guys have lied to her, yet i know shes never had a real boyfriend. how do i tell her that the best way to get over her feelings is to stop dwelling on them and move on to the better things in life without making her hate me?
2006-06-28 06:05:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Is there any chance that her myspace profile is just a fictional front she is making, or are you sure that the way she acts in person is a front?
I can remember having a tough time in school. I kept most of my feelings inside. I everyone saw this happy girl, but inside I was very depressed. You might bring the ice on the topic by telling her about someone you ran into online who was talking about similar stuff. Then ask her if she has ever felt like that. If you can find a way to relate to any of the feelings she has expressed, perhaps from some time in the past even. You might tell her about that to encourage her to share her own feelings. Even now it is hard for me to talk in person to people about some of the things that went through my head in high school. It is always easier though when the person I am talking to is able to relate and share a similar feeling or thought.
You might let her know that there are tough times in life, but if you have someone to share your problems with then it is much easier to get through them. Life Goes On and eventually things are bound to get better.
I personally am doing much better now. It has been 10 years since high school. I eventually figured out that a lot of my feelings were from hiding who I truly was. Suppressing all my feelings for years. Until about 5 years ago when I finally admitted I was gay. I took a huge burden off my shoulders. No matter what her problem might be, just admitting it out loud can bring much needed relief.
2006-06-28 06:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bravo to you for worrying about your friend! MySpace is an outlet many teenagers use to "vent". On MySpace you can be a 25 year old supermodel, or a teenager who is depressed about boyfriends that aren't real. If she's never had a real boyfriend, is it possible that she has been friend's with guys who have never taken the next step to being her boyfriend and that's got her down? Either way, it does seem misleading that she appears upbeat in all of your conversations. I would try to bring it up casually and see if you get more information. Start a conversation like
"Hey, I just posted a new quote on MySpace, I was checking out yours too..."
pause here to see if she offers up any info, if not then say something like
"How do you decide what kinds of info to put on your MySpace?"
Hopefully a conversation like this (with a good sensitive attitude) can help you figure out what is really underneath your friend's upbeat personality. If you offer your advice of "getting over things and stop dwelling' just make sure you let he know you care about her very much and are concerned about the My Space info.
2006-06-28 13:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by smvb123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a very interesting question.
She obviously is down on love (even if she's never had it). She's down on her interpretation of love and her outlet is telling the world about it. Two things; you can either let her learn on her own, or speak out.
If you genuinely want to help her, then you need to open up that chapter with her. Meaning, you start talking about her experience with relationships. This means that you have to be really patient and understanding with her as she potentially divulges a lot of scars from what's happened to her. WHile she may not have had any serious boyfriends, she may have really bad coping skills (which is what her profile sounds like-bad coping skills) which would explain why something small seems very big to her. Not her fault, it's the way she was raised.
So as she divulges her information, ask her what she wants out of a relationship..... chances are she'll say the normal things we would want. Then say "I have an idea, let's rewrite your profile on myspace".... and then help her write it.
In doing that, you may actually be teaching her one of the most valuable lessons in life that her own parents never taught her, and that's what it takes to find real love.
Good luck :)
2006-06-28 13:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that she needs to be happy with who she is and just be happy she is here right now. Tell her that if it wasn't this, it'd be something else. If she has no idea as to what you are saying, tell her that she should decide whether she wants to be a happy-go lucky person or as you say a suicidal emo person. I hope this works for you!
2006-06-28 13:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tricky situation, but let me start off by commending you on caring about your friend. it seems as though a lot of people today are not as concerned about others in their community as they could be. start by telling her that you are worried about her and then explain to her why you are worried. relate your life experiences with her about past relationships that didn't really go the way you'd hoped and let her know that these things really do happen to all of us. remind her that you are saying this because you care and that you will be there to listen whenever she wants to talk without being judge mental.
2006-06-28 13:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't make sense to tell her that because she never really had a boyfreind. She is living a fake life on myspace so talk to her about counselding and tell her that she can tell you anthing and you will be there for her.
2006-06-28 13:08:51 · answer #6 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her, tell her its not nice for the world to see she's a suicidal emo girl everyone might even be afraid of her, tell her in a nice way to stop brooding over stupid things and move on which will help her alot.
2006-06-28 13:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not do the obvious and create a new myspace account in a name she will not know and tell her with the new account name.
2006-06-28 13:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by windyy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably not verry helpfull, but i was in almost the same position and i just told her straight, i thought she would hate me. she was a bit off with me for a while but then she got a boyfriend and now were quite close.
hope all goes well.
2006-06-28 13:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take on a" dying swan" from the Internet.
A person can be who they want and this may just be a bit of dramatic rubbish.
2006-06-28 13:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋