advice for a married couple of age 19 and 20?

Question

were no doing too good

Answer 1

work work work. You could try Dr. Phil's relationship rescue book. It's a great book and really helps you deal with your relationship....not that i'm one to talk right now! haha. Getting married young is hard, but you need to remember that you did take vows. Try to remember those vows and what it meant to take them at your wedding. how you felt. Try to remember the good times in the beginning. Those should at least try to get you through the hard times. Never forget that marriage is special and it is a ton of work. You worked really hard in the beginning to win eachother over, so don't stop! keep it romantic, keep it fun, do those flirty things you did to eachother in the beginning. It's hard to give advice with no exact question but that's my piece! Good luck!

Answer 2

just lock yourselves in a room alone and talk it out until you are doing good

i'm sure that sounds tacky, but its the only thing you can do. It might take awhile, so you may want to bring some drinks, snacks, or a deck of cards. (I'm not kidding)

you have to be honest with each other and you have to rememeber why you married each other in the first place. Every relationship has its bad times. You just have to get through it to see the next wave of good times.

Answer 3

I would love to help because I was married at 19 (my husband was 20), but I don't know what the problem is....can you be more specific?

Answer 4

I'm in the exact same boat. my husband and i are both 19 with a 6 1/2 month old son. we got married b/c we loved each other, not b/c we were pregnant. it seems like all we do is fight lately. all i can tell you is to pray and try not to go to bed angry. sleeping on it only makes it much worse. i would love to find out your problems, b/c chances are they're close to mine. maybe we could help each other

Answer 5

Do not, I repeat DO NOT have children for at least 5 years. If you're still together in 5 years, and happy, then have all the kids you want - but not till then.

The last thing this world needs is richer divorce lawyers and more young kids from broken homes.

Answer 6

Quit blaming each other for the bills. Never let Bills get in the way of your relationship. They will always be there.
Never call each other names, they hurt and you can't take them back.
If an argument starts, one of you leave before all he** breaks loose. This gives both of you a Chance to cool down and think.
Never treat the relationship as 30/90, it is a 50/50 split. Your both equal in the partnership. Both of you contribute to the marriage.
Never go to bed angry, and never fall to sleep without saying I love you.

Answer 7

Do a lot of things together, new things are great: Go to zoos, museums, plays, shows, conventions, parks, road trips, etc.
Do some things separate, the things you each particularly like to do (that aren't off limits now that you're married.) (Solitary book in a bath, hanging with the girls/gals, watching movies they don't have an interest in.)
But do more things together, than apart.

Look for every opportunity. Your mate shouldn't have to tell you how great a backrub at the end of a hard day would be, or some other courteous thing. Even if he doesn't reciprocate for some time, still try your best when it's in your ability to, especially in little things. (Eventually he will follow your example, or at least he'll know that you were doing the right thing, and he wasn't.)

I think marriages make or break over little things, like leaving shoes in a walkway, leaving this dish out, letting food spoil, not checking the bank account, leaving a car without gas, not charging cell phones so you can reach eachother, not having the laundry done when you/he needs it for work, not calling to let the other know they'll be home late, etc. When you know he loves to see you looking your best, when you can, oblige him. (Don't lose sleep or health over it, but expect that it's great to show him you still get excited over him seeing you at your best like you did during dating.)

Don't wait for these things to become an issue - ideally both mates should get into a pattern of consideration. Calling from work to find out if you need to pick anything up, or to get dinner if both of you ran out of time to cook. Watching to see how high the hamper's getting, and throwing in a quick load. (It's ok to tell him he can fold it, etc.) Taking the extra 5 mins to put gas in the car on the way home, so he doesn't need to worry. Him taking the cars for oil changes so you don't have to worry.

Watch your credit especially, and keep the cards low, because things get really hard when you hit a bump (get in an accident, need a new transmission, etc) and you have nothing to fall back on. Leave that type of credit available for emergencies, and don't feel the pressure to buy everything you want as a young couple. Buy just a few things that you can both really enjoy, when you're able to afford it. Do what you can to leave with a kiss in the morning, and come home to a kiss at night. If you can, share lunch breaks together. At some point, touch base during the day, an email, a phone call, a text message. Don't let 12 hours go by without letting eachother know you've been thinking about them.

Pick up some new hobbies. Ever tried fly fishing? Painting? Biking or hiking? Ballroom dances? Take classes together, and don't ever judge the other on how they're doing.

Pick up some new causes: Something you can both feel strongly about, and back it when possible. (Humane society, something ecology related, help for schools or children in the area.) When faced with problems a lot larger than yourselves, and feeling like you both contributed a little to help someone or something else, can really help you to bond. Besides the fact that you really did do something nice for someone else, which is never a waste of time.

Remember humor. If you can find something to laugh about instead of be mad about it, surrender to it. Life is very short to be giving your love the cold shoulder over something minor.

However, keep lines of communication open and discuss issues. Do not let them go, because someone will feel resentful, and all the 'little things' (remember the little things from above), will stack to become mountains. (You never do the dishes. You never help me with housework. You don't think about anyone but yourself. You don't notice me. You don't let me know before you make large purchases.)

To summarize all this, think about your relationship like a bank account. You have to deposit something into it. A hug, a kiss, a romantic date, a sacrifice for the other person, a sweet letter, a compliment, appreciation for doing their jobs, listening to him, and talking with him, having his back when it comes to the mother-in-law, etc. If the deposits aren't there, when it comes time to make a withdrawal, a night out on the town with the guys, an ESPN-all day binge, a plasma screen TV instead of new patio furniture, or your wanting a new pair of shoes, or a night at the opera/ballet, or a trip to see your family.... disaster happens.

All these little examples really mean to be loving and considerate. Put the other person's interests first. The best thing you can do is study together, because when you involve the Creator of marriage into it and form the three fold chord, it becomes nearly unbreakable. He knows what's best for humans and relationships, and He's given plenty of advice available if you're willing to study and read it together, on how to have the happiest family.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

first off you were too young to marry but I am sure you know that... now that it is done you have to work ten times harder than older couples.. I was 22 when I wed and am married 13 years now.. it is HARD>. get counseling and talk talk talk... BUT if you are abused get out..

Answer 9

The best advice would have been to not get married so young. You njust need to trudge thru it. It can suck and be very hard, but you both need to work together on it. It can get better.

Answer 10

You got married way too young. I am sorry that you are having problems. Try seeking a counselor, but that may not help.