Am I being too quick to jump to conclusions or is something going on with my husband. He works from 4AM till three or four in the afternoon and told me yesterday there is only one girl he makes it a point to hang out with at work because it gets too boring. We have been married almost a year now and have a baby on the way and he is very supportive of the pregnancy, he comes with me to my doctor appointments when he can and attends prenatel classes with me but with over 20 other people working with him and he chooses to hang out with this one girl? The messed up part is if I hang out with another guy, just as friends, he gets all bent out of shape and upset! I'm just worred but every time I confront him about it he says not to worry that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me and changes the subject. Am I just being silly and worrying too much?
2006-06-28 05:49:51 · 12 answers · asked by ChrisS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The thing is that he's already hurting you by trying to dismiss the situation and not really talking about your feelings. Men and women don't always see things the same way. He may not understand all that you are thinking. Remind him that if you were the one working and he was at home, he would be worried too if out of all the other people he hangs out with this one girl. Why don't you ask him what makes her so special that he hangs out with only her? Why don't you go to his job with a homemade lunch and check her out? You are pregnant and in a fragile state because stress can lead you to premature birth. It's not right for a married man to only hang out with one girl at work while there are other people about, male and female. Is she a lesbian?...because then you don't have to worry. Best wishes and take care.
2006-06-28 06:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Are you worrying too much... probably, he doesn't see this woman outside of work does he? if he doesn't then... i wouldn't be too concerned. Now if you want to hang out with a guy just as a friend and he gets bent out of shape, then you might point out to him that you feel the same way. Jealous, he seems to be devoted to you and to your pregnancy (atleast from what you have described), and unless he does somthing more than tell you that he is hanging out with this girl (which btw i doubt he would be as open about if he was having an affair) then i would just chill out a little bit and not discount the real possibility that part of the problem is that you are pregnant and probably don't feel that attractive right now. Now if he starts acting suspicious I am not advocating that you ignore signs, just don't jump the gun at the little stuff. Good luck sweetie, and I hope this helps.
2006-06-28 05:57:02 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's telling you about it, that's a good sign. If there were something going on, he would be keeping the relationship with her a secret. Whether or not something is going on isn't the only issue, though. If you feel uncomfortable with the relationship, he needs to do something to assuage those feelings. He certainly has no right to get all bent out of shape when you hang out with another guy, that's just setting a double standard. Talk to him about this. He needs to understand how his actions are affecting you and your marriage, and that you need something from him to calm your suspicious mind. Do you ever go see him at work for lunch or just to visit? Are you welcome to do so, or would he be unpleasantly surprised? Ask him why he gets bent when you hang out with one of your guy friends, and let him know that he shouldn't worry.
It might be the pregnancy hormones causing to overreact, but there is probably some basis for your concerns. Remind your hubby that he shouldn't do anything at work that he wouldn't do in front of you. If he assures you that he doesn't, you have to either take him at his word or start talking to his co-workers to get at the truth. Bottom line: you have to trust him, but he has to be trustworthy.
Good luck!
2006-06-28 06:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by Judgie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being silly. You are a newly wed for the most part, and you are carrying his child. His behavior is terrible. As a guy, I know that he is playing a game, and he is also being very disrespectful to you and your unborn child as well as your marriage. Tell him plainly and simply that you are the only woman that he should spend time with, and if he cant understand or respect that, that you will be leaving. Take yourself and the baby when born and move back in with your parents or another family memeber if possible. When he matures and is willing to show total commitment to you, tell him you will take him back. He is an embarrasement to all of us men out here who understand the proper way to take care of our families and our wifes.
2006-06-28 06:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if they are just hanging out at work it should be okay. If they are doing stuff out of work even if they're just friends it could lead to something else. To be on the safe side just tell him that it hurts you when knowing he is with another girl and ask him to stop if he loves you. You do stuff for him to make him happy and he should do the same.
2006-06-28 05:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by Janice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, my heart goes out to you.
Whether this is your hormones making you suspicious, or it is real, you would handle this the same.
ASSURE him that you know he is a wonderful husband, and would NEVER do anything so s lutty as to cheat on his wife carrying his own baby. Smile right into his eyes.
pause
and then go on to get him to go shopping with you for a new baby outfit. Get him involved in this baby MORE.
The other girl might be enticing him, but Honey YOU have him. Just keep it wonderful and fun for him to go through this with you, and also, let him share your ooky times, as well as your excited times...
it is HIS pregnancy too. Keep him involved in all of it.
I wish you love
stw
2006-06-28 06:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your intuition is telling you something. Then again, maybe nothing is going on and you are just worrying for no reason. Talk to him some more about this. You are carrying his child and it is not good to be so upset when you are pregnant. You need to be calm. My husband has female friends and I have male friends and we are fine with it but everybodys different and he should respect your feelings.
2006-06-28 06:11:28 · answer #7 · answered by New York Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are worrying to much.I would make a point to find a guy to be friends with so he knows how it feels.
2006-06-28 06:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your hormones can play tricks on you while you are pregnant.tell him how vulnerable you are feeling and what is bothering you honesty best policy then if you find out later he has been up to something you can punch him with a clear conscience!
2006-06-28 05:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very important part of a relationship.
It's up to you.
2006-06-28 05:55:47 · answer #10 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋