How do you forgive the unforgivable?

Question

The only man I have ever loved hurt me in the most coldhearted way...how do I forgive him when I can't even stand to look at him? Should I even try?

Answer 1

You have to want to, and let time heal your wounds. Try counseling, whether alone or with him. Talking out your feelings is the only way you will truly ever be able to process them.
Do not listen to these people who say give up and move on. We do that too much today. Give up to easy. If you really love him, try to work it out. You will probably never forget the hurt he has caused you, but you may be able to forgive, move on, and both of you learn a valuable lesson. It may make you stronger in the long run.
I would suggest counseling before you give up, but if the pain is too great, then maybe you should seperate for awhile (not give up, just seperate) and work on things at a distance where you both have your space to heal, grow, and process.

Good luck. peace and love

Answer 2

We as humans have a tough time with this concept. The true meaning of forgiveness is to forget the transgression. There can be no forgiveness without the ability to forget it. Some hurts take a long time to get over, some may never be gone. However, if you find yourself unable, or unwilling to forget it, or if you seek vengeance then you are not able to forgive. It sounds like you are having a hard time with this particular heart break, I can only tell you that the more questions you ask, the more you dwell on the hurt, the stronger it may become. Though it will be difficult, it will be in the long run wiser to only allow your memory to fall upon that transgression only in terms of learning. I am not saying that you should or could perhap forget it completely, but you cannot move on as long as you paralyze yourself with that though and no other. Nor should you allow a past problem or hurt to keep you from loving again. There is always risk in everything, and it's very hard to put your heart out there and have someone break it. Believe me I know what I'm talking about. The key to every social problem is confidence, self-reliance and understanding that we are all in the same emotional boat. We are all scared, insecure, and to some extent children. I do not know what prompted this question, but I do know that because you asked it, you have not forgotten, nor have you forgiven.

Answer 3

You may never ever be able to forgive him. Trying to forgive him is a call only you can decide. What are you willing to live with? If you can't look at him, it must have been something awful, and you are disgusted with him. Do you hate him for he has done or is just hurt? What is he doing to help you forgive him? If he is not doing something to help you to forgive and forget-then forget him because he's probably not sorry for doing it in the first place. To me it's in his ballpark, if he's genuinely sorry then it would make it easier to try to make the relationship work. If not move on..

Answer 4

The same way you.......speak the unspeakable
do the undoable
break the unbreakable
and move the unmoveable....strength.

This man is simply a prop. The exercise has little to do with him and everything to do with you. The reaction you get out of him, whether pleasant or nasty, will be little compared to the way you will feel once you clear your chest and your mind.
It will be scary. Fear is normal.
Courage is doing the right thing in spite of your fear. Good Luck.

I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace.

Answer 5

Forgive him and move on with your life. Then you do not have to look at him. If you do not forgive him, you will be burdened with hatred while he does not even know it.

He might be the only man you ever loved, but he does not deserve to be the last man you loved.

Answer 6

You need to ask yourself if what he did is going to affect you for the rest of your relationship. I did the worst thing to my bf (which is now my husband). He loved me and forgave me but it did cause problems for the first 3 years of our marriage. I would suggest that if you love him so how you feel with the situation and if it is too hard to forgive, move on. You want a relationship to be more than wonderful and if you have too many doubts, maybe you're meant to find someone else. If he loved and respected you would he have done what he did!?!?

Answer 7

Forgive the man, but not the act. Let go of the hurt and be healed by it, then you can resolve the question of whether you can have any kind of relationship with him

Good luck.

Answer 8

Hmm, reply a few of these questions and it will aid you remedy your query: a million. Why do you desire to forgive them? two. Can you real forgive him/her out of your center? three. Does it aid maintaining directly to the grudge for you? The factor is, you'll be able to forgive, however you do not have got to overlook what had occurred. The individual will ought to begin constructing their believe everywhere once more for you. But you'll be able to continuously forgive out of your facet. Life's method oo brief to preserve grudges. And you'll be able to be a greater individual to be capable to forgive. Hope this is helping. Peace.

Answer 9

Well you don't have to look at him to forgive him. I would say give it time and there is not set amout of time just when you have calmed down and are at the point where you don't what he did bother you. If at that moment you can forgive then do so.

Answer 10

What did he do? I always believe that it's the right thing to do, to forgive someone, but only when you're ready. I'm not Christian or anything, and I know "that's the Christian thing to do", but it makes you feel a lot better about yourself.