my ex lives in Texas and i'm in Ohio. we have 2 kids and they are visiting him right now, they've been gone for almost 2 months and i am going to meet him in Alabama in a few weeks to pick them up. we have been separated and soon to be divorced for almost 12 months...recently i met a man who i absolutely adore, he's already told me he's in love with me...i want him to drive to AL with me to get the kids, i told my ex he was coming and he flipped out on me, he's calling him my fiance -which he's not and i never said that, he's saying i shouldn't bring him to meet the kids when they are leaving their dad....he thinks i am going to try and make this guy be their step dad....which i'm not....he's my boyfriend, i really like him, and i've never brought anyone else around the kids plus ineed someone to drive with me....is my ex being unreasonable or am i? i even told him he doesn't have to meet him...
2006-06-28 05:39:14 · 16 answers · asked by jada_24 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave the boyfriend at home so the kids don't have to see the adult drama between your ex, you and your boyfriend. Kids come first. Think about what is best for them. Once the drop off is made, he can't control the boyfriend coming around the kids.
2006-06-28 05:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure about your ex's motivations, but I hardly think this is an appropriate manner to bring this new person into the context of your family, however torn apart it is right now. You don't mention the ages of the kids. I also am guessing they have never met this guy. Now you are going seriously stress them out by having this stranger who likes their mommy in the car with them for many hours. Not for the reasons your ex likely has, but I also think this may not be the best way to introduce this new person to your kids.
2006-06-28 12:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of the kids. Leave the boyfriend home. It's bad enough they are dealing with dual lives. You husband may try to make a scene and at this point I believe you should do what you can to prevent that. You and your new boyfriend will have time to be around the kids when you get back.
2006-06-28 12:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by squashpatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be acting a little unreasonable, but if your kids have not yet met this guy, I would NOT take him on this road trip with you. Take a girl friend or family member that the kids already know - they're just leaving their dad, they don't need your new boyfriend in the car with you guys.
2006-06-28 13:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are being unreasonable. He is flipping out and over reacting due to his own insecurities, and you are asking a stranger to you children to travel half way across the country with you and them. This is a bafd idea. Your boyfriend is going to feel awkward during the whole thing as well, and you really haven't thought about that either.
2006-06-28 12:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him with you, you ex is just being a jerk. He is a bit jealous, and doesnt like to feel threatend. What if this guy was your fiancee? Is that his businees once the divorce is final. If you are worried about it, drop the boyfriend at a restaurant down the road from where you pick up the kids. Then pick him up after you get them.
2006-06-28 12:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you wish is not unreasonable, HOWEVER, it is a little soon.
Timing is everything.
The bf may travel with you, but keep him far away, out of the picture, at pick-up time.
There are two separate situations here that should stay separate for the time being.
And don't mention to your ex that the bf is a few blocks away, waiting.
2006-06-28 12:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is unreasonable. Take your friend, boyfriend, fiance, lover, whatever with you. The ex don't like it, too bad. His problem to drive himself nuts over.
Boils down to, if you want someone with you for the drive, than that's your call.
2006-06-28 13:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it isn't his choice, he can't control your life anymore. I definitely would remind him that his reaction is most noted by the children so hope he can maintain a mature attitude. Have your children already met this man? If not, consider that it might not be the best time to introduce your new man to them. If they have met him already then I really don't see what the big deal is. Good luck.
2006-06-28 12:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mariah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, he's being totally unreasonably....dun listen to your ex, just bring your bf along...it's his ego speaking, he's jealous youve moved on and will do anything to sabotage you...
becareful with your kids, he may brainwash them...get a lawyer and get custody to ASAP, i bet he's already doing so the moment you said you had a bf.
anyway, i have to warn you, there are pedophiles out there targeting single moms with young kids, be very sure of this guy and for the sake of your children, check out the pedophile listings on FBI's or police websites...make REALLY sure of his real intentions, cause he fell in love with you too fast to be true....i may be paronoid, but for the sake and safety of your children, please check out his backgroud.
2006-06-28 12:55:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋