15 year old & in high school. Her LAST SEMESTER she failed PE and her Math class. During the school year she was told that if she fails she WILL be grounded ALL summer. HOWEVER she has ALREADY met her math requirement for high school so she didn't need the math class at all just the credits. In regards to PE she can make up that semester next school year. So needless to say her failing those 2 class (1/2) a semster ONLY didn't really do any DAMAGE!... With all that being said ..... SHOULD SHE BE GROUNDED ALL SUMMER????
2006-06-28 05:38:27 · 12 answers · asked by mz_leza 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she was informed of the punishment in advance then she needs to accept the punishment as it was originally described to her.
Just because this instance wasnt that damaging to her academics is not the real point. The real point is her disregard for responsibility and her ability to accept the consequences for her action.
After school when she is in a 9-5 paying job, there will be real world consequences.
If her actions or lack of action causes her to be repremanded by her boss, she might be fired. Then she wont be able to pay rent or her other bills. How is she going to get another job since she will have to disclose that she was fired for her poor work or lack of work.
There is a bigger problem here, and your daughter needs to learn responsibility, and to live with consequences.
She needs to be grounded the whole summer, and should be required to work at home or at a real job.
2006-06-28 05:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by creskin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you have two issues here:
1) you told her the consequences of failing
2) the punishment doesn't exactly fit the crime.
I have three teen boys, and have dealt with these issues.
Consider this: the logical consequences of her having failed PE is having to take the class again, which is good. She'll learn from that and probably not want to go through that experience again.
Even though she's met her math requirement for HS, the fact remains that she failed the class--for whatever reason (not doing homework? skipping class?)--and there does need to be a consequence for that. The problem is school's out now, and frankly, a whole summer's restriction just doesn't seem fair to me. Do they have summer school?
Consider, too, that there may be other reasons she failed that class. How did she do in her other classes? Does she enjoy math? Why was she taking a class she didn't need? Were there family stressors present? (For example, a move, or a crisis in the family, or a fmaily sickness, or other stuff) I would look at the whole picture before deciding what the consequences should be.
This could be an opportunity for you to connect with your daughter. Each year I've learned my own lessons about how to preempt situations. Last fall, because I'd seen what a toll my son's part-time job had taken on him, I sat down with him and asked him how much time he thought he'd need for his studies, and how much for sleep, and what time he needed to be home in order to get things done. He went to his boss and told him when he could work, and took a lot of stress off himself.
Remember, too, that her failure is hers, not yours. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent--it simply provides a way for her to learn and for you to be supportive. (Think of all the hard lessons you yourself have learned :P)
As for amending the original "sentence"--tell her frankly (if you change your mind) that you think you may have made a mistake. A lot of times kids get in a twist because they think their parents won't admit to being fallible. By being willing to admit mistakes, we show it's okay if THEY make mistakes--as long as they get up again.
I'm not sure I've been very helpful. I guess I just want to pat you on the back for caring about your daughter, and to encourage you to trust her to learn from her mistakes.
2006-06-28 05:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by abbynormal92243 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as it takes. But you should have some incentives like making up the PE class in summer school or taking a tutoring class for Math during the summer that can allow her to get out of her grounding session a little earlier. If she chooses to make the effort great, if not, let the grounding continue.
2006-06-28 05:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She failed PE and you want her to sit on her lazy *ss and do nothing.
A better punishment might be to make her do some physical activity then she might not fail next year.
Give her a reduced sentence for doing some activity,
2006-06-28 05:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think she should be grounded ALL summer... that's a little harsh. however, since she did know the consequences, you should put a limit on maybe instant messaging, phone, or tv access for a given amount of time. make sure she knows never to do it again, though!
2006-06-28 05:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you should be. an agreement wad made and you had all year to do it but didnt so now you must pay the consequences regardless if you didnt need the classes or not. you failed them and broke ur agreement.
ur lucky u still have the internet. your parents should take that away too cause im sure u spent all ur time on it instead of studying.
2006-06-28 05:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well you told her the consequences of failing...but it didn't do any damages...I would ground her for about 1/2 the summer...seems appropriate amount.
2006-06-28 06:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by j_montgomery_50 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No,one week is enough.My daughter is climbing the walls with boredom after a week.Plus take her mobile phone off her.no phone calls to her friends.
2006-06-28 10:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You deserve to be grounded all summer for failing P.E.!!!!
2006-06-28 05:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think Teenagers should be grounded till they are Adults!!!!!
2006-06-28 05:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋