I have been trying to show her love, love and love. I take good care of her to see if she loves me back, but she still does not. What should I do? What would you do if you were in my situation? I am not making a desicion based on your answers, but I just want to know other people's opinion. Thanks in advance for your sincere answers.
2006-06-28 04:58:21 · 19 answers · asked by CharWiz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
see a counelor
2006-06-28 05:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by J_humor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would first assess why she does not love me. was it something that i had done or said, or is it just her? Then, if i really truly loved her deep in my heart, i would just continue to love her and support her and try and help her overcome her unloving nature toward me by continuing with the small gestures and loving nudges. If, at the very end, there was no hope and nothing i ever did was good enough, i would do one of two things: 1) offer the suggestion of divorce. 2) go and see a marriage counselor. Give her time; maybe there is something that you do not quite know yet that has been on her mind. It could be her and not you, but you might need to communicate with her and find out the reasoning behind it.
2006-06-28 05:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by pilotmanitalia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who is in the same position as your wife my advice is you need to let firstly find out for sure if she really doesn't or if it is just something hormonal she is going through. If so then you need to let her know no matter what decision she makes about the relationship you would be able to accept it and not do anything stupid. If it is that she needs some time or space let her have it so that she can figure out what is going on inside her cause you constantly being around can be frustraing or even get her really pissed and confused. If after everything she doesn't love you and she isn't willing to work on it and she wants to go, let her it's going to hurt like hell but if you really love her as much as you say then you can love enough to let her go if thats what will make her happy. As for you hope is good but if she doesn't love you then thats it pick up the pieces and move on. I know it is easier said than done but life does go on. And if you think that after this there is no life then you don't like or respect your self enough to have been able to love someone else in the first place.
2006-06-28 05:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by sarissa_salick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her honestly without any angry words and see if you can find out if she is having issues with the relationship or what is going on in her head. If she simply does not love you anymore, let her go. That is all you can do. Because you love her, you want her to be happy, right? What will make her happy? If she is not willing to work on a relationship that she made the choice to commit to, you cannot force her to. You cannot force love. Maybe she needs a little space. Sometimes when my boyfriend forces his love on me, it frustrates me and I just want to get away. But in the end, I love him too and want to work at giving my affection back. A marriage takes work from each partner. Give and take. Responsibility and honesty and communication. Communicate about your and her feelings.
2006-06-28 05:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by daydreamer8725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask how are you wanting her to love you back? You haven't really explained why you feel she does not love you. Maybe she feel she does in her own way. Depending on how you are raised is the way you will express your love. For instance I was raised in a family where they hugged you all the time and showed their love by doing things for eachother. On the other hand my husband was raised in a large family where there would be an occasional hug or kiss and a hi and bye. But , his family is still very close and they love eachother. It is possible you to came from two different backgrounds. Dont smother her or she will leave you.
2006-06-28 05:10:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you cannot force someone to love you no matter what you do. First of all, you need sit down and talk and maybe go see a counselor. Now if you think you can live with situation then continue with it but if not did you need to think about the alternative.
2006-06-28 05:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a counseller and remember all the little things to make her happy. Do it quickly. My sister and her now ex we happy but started to fight alot and then she decided that she didn't love him anymore. After 6 years and all the love she believe there was none coming from her side, so she dumped him. I feel sorry for the guy, i actually like him, like he would have been a great brother in law.
2006-06-28 05:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Leslie N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry that you are having to deal with this. I was once in a similar situation myself and I know how painful it is but truly, the only answer is to find someone who loves you back. Like you, I tried everything, I DID everything but the hard and sad fact is, that you can't MAKE someone love you. You can make them stay by falling over yourself to take care of them but only until they fall in love themselves... with somebody else. It is massively damaging to your spirit and your ego to keep trying with someone who is using you as their comfort zone. Bizarrely, it was a line from a song which ran round and round in my head which prompted me to stop 'you can't make your heart feel something that it won't'. You can't. She can't. I bit the bullet, and not long after fell in love with the most incredible man who has loved me devotedly for many years and whose love is returned. We wake up happy every day. I wish the same for you.
2006-06-28 05:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revamp the relationship..have a sit down with her..or have a friend do it.have her write ten things that are important to her right now in life....see if you can find same things on your list and make a date about them. I would keep trying...if your boss was gonna fire you .you work overtime, show up early,and offer your ideas..do the same in your marriage....cant hurt.(p.s. married ten years and together fifteen)
2006-06-28 05:03:05 · answer #9 · answered by erin p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to answer without know how long you've been married and whether or not there are children involved. If she's willing to see a marriage counselor, give it a shot. If not, move on.
2006-06-28 05:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i would talk to her about everything she is feeling, and thinking.... communication is key
if it isnt going anywhere, suggest counciling.
...and if it comes down to divorce, then it does.
I sincerely hope you can work this out....but, you need to start preparing for the worst....you cant make someone love you....
best of luck!
2006-06-28 05:11:40 · answer #11 · answered by Whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋