how do you confront a 15yr. old & let them know you know they are sexually active?

Question

OK SO I'M ASKING THIS QUESTION FOR MY MOM, I AM 23YRS OLD I HAVE TWO SISTERS ONE 19YRS OLD & THE OTHER 15YRS THE 19 YR. OLD & I NO LONGER LIVE @ HOME MY 15 YR. OLD RECENTLY SLEPT OVER MY 19YR. OLD SISTERS HOUSE SHE WENT THROUGH THE 15YR OLD CELL PHONE & FOUND OUT THAT SHE IS NOW SEXUALLY ACTIVE SHE TOLD MY MOM ABOUT IT, BUT MY MOM DONT KNOW HOW TO CONFRONT HER ABOUT IT ,SHE HAS ALWAYS TOLD HER WHEN SHE THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING SEX TO COME TO HER TO GET PROTECTION & GO TO THE DOCTOR SHE ALSO TOLD HER IF SHE FELT EMBARRESSED TO DO SO GO TO 1 OF HER OLDER SISTERS BUT SHE HAS NOT! HOW SHOULD MY MOM GO ABOUT THE SITUATION?????

Answer 1

the mom should sit her down and talk to her about it and not tell her how she knows. just say "a good momma always knows these things!" the mom should also set up a dr appointment for the girl to have a OBGYN checkup (papsmear, pelvic, breastexam) and get her on birth control.

Answer 2

If/when someone confronts your sister you're going to have to address the issue of why the 19 year old went through the 15 year old's cell phone. The younger girl is going to perceive this as a blatant lack of trust and will likely be less inclined to confide in any of you.

Answer 3

ok, first of all, that was just wrong!! sisters back each other up and the way to handle that was for the 19year old to have a conversation w/the younger sister about safe sex and protection and go at it from there. or to even offer support when she tells her mother about it. but to first of all, go thru her cell phone and then second of all, tell her mom was just not right. you are the older sister here, you need to step in and encourage her to talk to mom, then when she opens up, mom can calmly address the issue. any other way will not be good, the 15yr old will feel that she can't trust her sister and then will clam up when your mom tries to talk to her.

Answer 4

If she did not want your mom to know it was not your place to tell her. Now that the cats out of the bag the cell phone snoop should apologize and be straight with her. If everyone is snooping behind her back how can she trust anyone with personal info. Your mom should just explain what hap pended then offer to be there once again if she needs help obtaining protection if she has not already and she'll be there if she needs to talk.

Answer 5

Tough question.
The horse is already out of the barn, so to speak.
If anything, stress the importance of using protection.
See the link, share the information and take her to the city/county health department to talk with people who deal with unwed teen pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

She needs to know that unprotected sex can leave LIFELONG diseases with no cure.
It can also kill her.
She needs to understand that just because she's having sex doesn't mean she's suddenly the smartest person in the world.

Show her some of the serious side-effects of pregnant teens.
Go to a home for unwed moms.
Let her talk to girls like her.
She needs to use her brain, not her libido.

Answer 6

she should just say it....
most likely, i hope, that since sex hasn't been completely taboo in your house and your mom already told her to come to her or one of her sisters, that maybe instead of doing that she just went to a planned parenthood by herself. there were lots of girls i knew in high school that did that.

if i was mom, then i would say :
hey hon, i have reason to think that you are sexually active and i'm not mad. i'm a little scared b/c you didn't come to me or your sisters to get a gyno exam and birth control, but that's o.k. we can't change the past. but, i want to be sure that you are being safe and protected. so, can i make a dr appt and take you??

then, the ball is in your sister's court.
hopefully, she will be smart enough to be straight up with your mom.

i wouldn't want to talk about sex with my mom, but if your mom approaches her like she cares and doesn't show that she's mad, then your sister may have a good repsonse to her.

take care and i hope things work out!

Answer 7

I think your mom should calmly ask your sister to talk first. She should let her know first off that she is not angry or upset with her and then proceed to tell her that she is aware of her being sexually active though she may not have gotten the information fairly. I believe your mom should then let her know that she's supportive and will take her to the ob-gyn for necessary checkups and protection and that they should have an open relationship about it. That's how my mom did it and it worked wonderfully! Good luck.

Answer 8

I know waht your mother should be going through. I really think that your mother should disclose of this maturity to the 15 year old slowly. what i mean is that even while watching TV your mother should see programmes which have more information about sex, teenage problems, and diseases relates to sex,ie. sexually transmitted diseeases like AIDS etc. You should realize that your sis is in a very vulnerable stage and should know about all this things. again it is necessary to not rush into things and tell her not at once but slowly.

Answer 9

your sister seems like she doesn't want to talk to you mom about this it is a bit embarrassing to tell your mother you are sexually active. i have been through this with my little sister she is 15 and i am 19. my sister didn't go to my mother nor did she come to me i found out when i was using her phone i asked her f she was and she admitted it. i took the responsibility of taking her to the doctor and talking to her since she didn't want our mother to know about it. you should do the same with your sister she might feel more comfortable with you knowing than your mother. you should approach her and talk to her and take her to the doctor to make sure she is ok.

Answer 10

the longer it is put off she may do something , like get pregnant!!have her older sister confront her on it. let her know it is between just the two of them.have the big sister to take her to get on the pill.the big sister can tell her she just need to get on them for regulation and protection, you never can be too safe!! maybe she will feel better and not embarrassed. just keep it a small deal as possible even though it is a very big deal for you!!good luck!!