What do I do?

Question

I woke up this morning to find my wife gone, the house was in disarray from her obviously packing in a rush. She has our 5 year old son at his grandma's house, the grandmother did call to say he was with her and that my wife said she would be okay. However, she left our six month old here and left me a note saying "it is my turn to go crazy". I couldn't go to work today because I had no short notice person to keep the baby. So I had to take leave. My wife took a substantial amount of money out of our accounts, so she could be anywhere. I want to find her and bring her home. Can a PI do this? In desperation, I even hauled the baby with me to the airport asking people have they seen a woman (a picture of my wife) like this boarding a flight to wherever. I did a missing persons report at the police station, but it seems like they can care less. I just don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken and angry that she did this to me. I love her, and I want her home.

She inactivated her cell phone account. I just found that out today too. So, I have no means of contacting her.

Gary, I've already done that. She's a good girl. I don't feel it's another guy type issue. She has been in tretment for postapartam depression since the baby was 5 months old. She used to joke and say she'd run away because the baby drove her crazy, but I thought she was just kidding. I think she meant it was my turn for the baby to supposedly drive "me" crazy, in her letter.

Gary, I've already done that. She's a good girl. I don't feel it's another guy type issue. She has been in tretment for postapartam depression since the baby was 5 months old. She used to joke and say she'd run away because the baby drove her crazy, but I thought she was just kidding. I think she meant it was my turn for the baby to supposedly drive "me" crazy, in her letter.

Answer 1

Sorry you have so much to deal with but it appears she has been too stressed for quite a while. Her parents must know more then they are saying about where she is. She needs time and space to regroup. Leave a message that your in-laws can relate to her if she calls them. Tell her how you feel and that you are willing to help put things back together in a mutually beneficial way. Prepare to change whatever caused this to begin with, maybe hire outside help for her or whatever.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

A PI may be able to find your wife but you may find her when she's not ready to be found -- in other words, you may spend money and accomplish nothing. Key words in your letter were her words "it's my turn to ..." I have to assume that she's resentful in the relationship towards you (not helping her enough, not listening, not caring, or something else that only you two know about) and that you have had your moments where she was supposed to be tolerant of your "going off the deep end." On another angle -- what makes a mother leave her children behind? Is it possible that she has been Internetting with a possible 'other.' There are programs that you can download for under $60 that will retrieve deleted items off a hard drive. You may want to look through deleted pictures, txt files and emails to see if she had met someone on line.(i did this for a friend once and found email clues) -- hope this helps; don't take anything harshly from me to you; I'm feeling for you, here!

Answer 3

Well for the note you referred to it sounds like she may be having some major stress and/or depression going on. I would call the grandma and see if she knows where to find her. Speaking as some one who has went through major post partum (sp?) depression. Do a search on the net on the subject and see if that would fit her situtation. But she could just need a break and come back fine. Hope everything turns out for the best for you.

Answer 4

does she have a cell phone? think of all the places she could b, and try calling there. that might not work, so maybe u could ask her friends if they no anything. a missing persons alert was a good idea, but this time, do 1 that goes all over the country. in the note, it said "its my turn to go crazy" and u said she took a lot of money. where do u think she could b? --- VAGAS!!!--- where else? im sry she did this to u, and i hope it turns out ok. <33

~cAtY~

Answer 5

Well maybe you should have helped out a little more... She obviously feels overwhelmed and way stressed out... I am assuming she is a stay at home mom... If she comes back to you, make sure she knows you love and appreciate everything she does... Go to some serious counseling, and have good communication.

Answer 6

Reflection time for you. speak to yourself to see why she is probably doing this. Bringing her back withhout addressing the issue as hand may cause history to repeat itself. Let any dialogue (when you eventually meet her, coz you will) be preceded by a monologue or a solliloquy.
Hope you were not cheating on her.
Ask grandma. She may be of help.
Good luck.

Answer 7

If/When you do find her it sounds like she might need some professional help. Just from what you said it sounds like she's suffering from postpartum (or regular) depression and could use some stress management help (and a break!). I really hope everything works out. I'm so sorry this happened to your family.

Answer 8

Don't wory remember your son needs you so much, take it easy maybe she need time to think. You also need time for your own to feel better. I really feel sad because of you and your little boy. If he loves you as you love her she'll be back and maybe he will realized the importance of being together as a family, I really thinks she willl retouns as soon as she can... good look!

Answer 9

it sounds like to me that your wife needs some space and if you go to find her, she will just do this again. i think you should just wait for her to come home. you know the old saying, if you love them let them go. if she comes back it is true love. I'm sorry to hear that she has done this to you and your kids. good luck

Answer 10

Hire a PI