I have since found out that this woman was previously married and had a child with another man so they divorced and she remarried. I dont know where her current husband is. She by the way is half of my husbands age. He quit his job and left with her. He says it is something that he has to do. I was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. I am on disability and I am not working. He deposits some money into the account on a monthly basis but it is not enough for me and my daughter to live on. (not his kid) My daughter and I are now forced to move and I am not sure if we can make it. I have known this man for 15 years only married for 3. My health wont allow me to work the way that I could before to be able to support me and my daughter. He had previously said that he didnt want to divorce. It has been 3 months now and I cant seem to get my life back. By the way, he carries the health insurance which at this time I so desparately need. What to do?
2006-06-28 03:22:42 · 40 answers · asked by Jane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get an attorney IMMEDIATELY. You should qualify for legal aid. Screw the bastard to the wall!!
2006-06-28 03:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the marriage for the health insurance. The sad thing is that you need all your energy to fight your cancer and this man is deplorable. I am so sorry for all of that.
I have a story to tell but can't here.
Be strong, you are not the one who failed her. This man needs will continue to have relationship failures from what I have heard about him so far.
I am wondering what state you live in where you can get some financial help or some legal help.
You say you can't get your life back....I know that is how you feel. So, I suggest you think this way......you don't need to get your life back....you need a NEW beginning- a new life with your body well and you and your daughter safe.
Stay for the health insurance for now. Stay married but don't consider yourself married to him, he has broken the vows.
Then once you are feeling better go through the legalities. For now consider him gone. I can't imagine you trusting him again or even respecting him. You are stronger than you imagine.
I believe that every woman here is rooting for you.
Maybe there is a local cancer support group that can help you with some of the day to day issues.
You will be in my prayers.
2006-07-09 17:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the lawyer suggestion. Legal Aide is a great place to start, you can keep his insurance if you have it written in your divorce degree. Also, be sure to apply to Social Security for your disability and you could receive checks for you and your daughter. Try everywhere for help. Just get rid of that man because you cannot move forward in life if you are stuck with him as a husband (even if it is in name only).
2006-06-28 03:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by CharKaye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously divorce will not work due to the health insurance. However, you need to divorce him mentally. He is no longer your husband. If you were not ill, I would say divorce him immediately. Find out what services are available through your local cancer support centers. Now is a time when you need to reach out for the community for help. Help is out there, start searching for it. Good luck!
2006-07-11 07:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me get this stright he didn't want divorce now he going around screwing women all he want and he not helping much of it. and been 3 months. and I would tell him that you need his health insurnace asap... and if he don't do that that means he seeing other woman. So get lawyer and ask for all the things you needed and Lawyer will get what you need.. Because it stupid. he didn't want divorce becasue he can't deal with your lung cancer so he has to move out.. Stupid If my wife have that kind of stuff I will stay with her and support all the things she would needed...
I am telling you now is that get Divorce if he won't help you with Health Insurance. and It better that way and get money from him to help support living cost and taking care of you and your daughter. He out there having fun not worry about you nothing zipo... making me sick when he does that.
2006-07-11 03:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that I am sorry to hear of your misfortune. I think maybe he is going through some things of his own and does not know how to deal with them other than be destructive. I do not excuse his behavior but do know that we all do not deal with grief in the same manner. I think that you should get a lawyer and see what your rights are and you should also get some counseling for yourself. You should also see what type of financial help is out there for you. There has to be some way that you can get additional aid. Once you talk to your lawyer he/she will be better able to tell you what your options are.
2006-06-28 04:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You are in quite a predicament. I would contact the state for some funding. They may be able to put you on aid. Some states also help with health care if you don't make alot or anything. They can help you find a job so you are working SOME hours. Then I would get assistance. You can do it....just have faith!
2006-06-28 03:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by jessigirl00781 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is some of a selfish bastard leaving you when you most need him for some ,over night flusy. you will be eligible for health coverage once you leave him. He thinking only of him self though he conscience pushes him to put money in your account.
Divorce him, he ran off with someone else before you make you decision. start looking around to see what kind of coverage you qualify for, so to social security and there are program that you Will qualify for also, contact the cancer association I am pretty sure they can help you.
Good Luck =)
2006-06-28 03:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by seeking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to get him back in your life would be a huge mistake. Even for the sake of insurance or financial support. There are other ways to take care of yourself. In your situation, you should file for the divorce, go to the state and apply for assistance until you can find another way of taking care of you and your child. My question to you is...where is your daughter's father??? Does he not pay child support?
2006-06-28 03:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to your church or a local social service agency to see what choices you have. Find out what would happen if.....you are already not surviving on your own so you need to find out how. See if you qualify for disability etc. Get some legal advice and see if there can't be some stipulation for this guy to take care of you medically. Get advice from the experts who know and maybe not from people on this site. Good luck.
2006-07-08 15:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
on top of allimony see if u can get some help from the state. i also wouldnt divorce him until absolutely neccesary. the insurance is going to be hard for you to get considering your battle with cancer. i will pray for you. although your daughter has been threw alot try to make this as easy time as ever for her. u might have to pick between needs and wants for a little bit. good luck to you
2006-07-11 17:01:47 · answer #11 · answered by natty b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋