What's wrong inside? Reflecting on myself?

Question

Use to blame my parents for not being there, but that seems to not be the answer in full.
I have passions, goals in my head, why do I never fufill them?
People around me at work have completed their education, are where they want to be. I seem to want it but not able to handle the consistency/emotional strength for it.
For ex, when things get hectic- my kids, my life, my work, I seem to get really depressed and edgy. Close to a breakdown.
Other's sigh and say, "One of those days".
I'm smart, witty, wise, intuitive, creative, rational, different.
I'm not exactly a dumb and weak female. Although, am I weak? Or what is it about me that doesn't get to where I want and need to go?
I recognize this problem and I'm not ashmed of it. I want answers and I want to grow.
FYI, I'm 26, two kids, fiance, grew up in a Muslim family but do not practice, Major culture clash as a teen in my home, I'm spiritual by heart but not practicing as I should!, and honestly, I don't feel as happy as others. Help!

Answer 1

Depression is a tricky thing. I have the same problem as you. I go through spells where I do great! I'm exercising, I'm eating right, my career is going where I want it to and then suddenly it's all over. I can't make myself do anything anymore. I see other people going after what they want and I wonder why I don't have the strength to do that myself. I'm not sure there are any easy answers to this. My best advise is to pay close attention to your thoughts. What you are thinking changes the way you feel. People think that they just wake up and feel a certain way, but it's the thoughts in our heads that make us feel the way we do. If we can pinpoint those thoughts and change them to good thoughts, then we can make ourselves feel better. I found this book to be very insightful: Feeling Good by David D. Burns. It helped me alot.

Also, it's possible that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain that's causing the depression. So I would try to feel better on your own first, but then if that didn't work, go see a counselor and talk about medication possibly.

Answer 2

A lot of times we find excuses or blame others for not doing things or reaching for our goals because we fear failure, rejection and criticism and we do not realize or want to admit that we are responsible for our own actions.

We do things in life because we want others to see us the way we feel they want to see us and sometimes we compromise on what is really important to us.

What I found was that unless you are happy and love yourself as a person it reflects on your behavior towards others and in particular towards yourself. It then affects your self-esteem, your energy level and more.

Being an intelligent person you should realize that you should never have a fear of trying to achieve something in your life and what the result could be from trying. It is more difficult to deal with the pain of never trying than the pain of trying and failing at something.

So maybe you should evaluate why you don't do things that you want and how honest you are to yourself about why you don't do what you feel you should be doing.

You are young and have the possibility of a good life ahead of you. You can only achieve this by acting on your needs.

You might also find that you get the support from the people that count the most. Your direct family.

Answer 3

I am not a professional, but it sounds like you may benefit from a screening for depression. I'm so sorry that you are feeling all this negativity in your life and that things are difficult. Check out the National Institute of Mental Health website for more information. Hang on--things will get better!

HOW TO HELP YOURSELF IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED
Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:

Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition change jobs, get married or divorced discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

Answer 4

To start, I would like to appluaed your honesty and abilty to recognize the problem that you are haveing. Like you must here so often "the first step is realizing you have a problem", you understand that external factors are not to blame for the problems and have begun to look inward. This is an important, most likely the most important, step in bettering ones life. But like you have realized you now need to do something to change this, to fix these internal problems and bring about the happinese that we all deserve.
It seems to me that currently the external influences on your life are great. You have a job that you seem to like (I made this asumption since you did not mention it as one of your problems) two childern, and a fiance that i am assuming you love very much. Look upon these things with joy, you have these great things in your life and need to realize this. Are not these things part of your goals, your plans? Do you not feel that you have done a great thing by achiveing them?
But i understand the interal problems that can occour no matter how good your life may appaer. Realize though that no life is without its times of stress and depression. All of us will have these, but the strong person is the one that realizes it and does not "breakdown". So accept this and use times of stress to appereicate the times of joy that much more.
As for your other goals. you have them, you have the strength to achieve them, you just need to do it. Drop what ever fears or reservations you have about them and go for it. Now i realize that is is easily said then done, but take small steps. Know that you are better off then the person without goals. Just go for it, it is up to you

Answer 5

I used to hate my mother because she used to abuse me and I hated mt dad for not believing me when I tried to tell him what mom used to do and that I wanted to live with him. (My parents got divorced when I was three) It took me a long time to confront the reality that I am a separate person from my mom. After 6 years of struggling with forgiveness I finally found inner peace and forgave her. After doing that, I became a better person for myself. I still struggled with the fact that my dad was never there when I needed him but the process of forgiveness came and went and I can now conduct my life in a way that is beneficial to me as well as my boyfriend. You sound like you need some "you time"; take a day or two and reflect on the intrinsic reasons that you feel a certain way. When you spend time looking at yourself and at how you react to certain things you can learn to counteract your depressing actions or emotionally harmful thoughts with positive reinforcement. I am a spiritually motivated person. I am fueled by the belief that God will help me get through all the situations that I come in contact with. It's hard sometimes, but that is why I have an AMAZING boyfriend to talk to and get insight on how I appear to others and therefore fix myself.
Sorry this was so long. Good luck.

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with you, its just when times get hectic you need to take a step back and see the full picture in clear, do the more important things first, leave the simple things until last,

At the start of each day set yourself goals that have to be filled and for-fill them.

don't think of it as emotional strength, and don't say to yourself you cant handle it because you CAN!!! Try to figure out whats stopping you and push it aside "clear the path."

I hope you reach your goals and get to were you want, good luck.

Answer 7

You are assuming you know what others are feeling. You sound very normal to me. For me and it took a long time to get here, but take small steps toward your goals. What ever they are. For me it was weight. Have started small. Parking farther away from the door to my office. I used to park about 30 feet away. Now I'm on the forth floor and I walk the stairs both directions. I have lost 20 lbs this way. Just by making small changes in my choices. You can do the same. You also are working very hard. Good Luck

Answer 8

I think you aren't completing your education, etc. out of fear of failure. If you don't get to where you want to be because you didn't complete your education, that's your excuse. If you finish & then fail, you won't have an excuse like that. That's why people procrastinate as well. "If I'd only had more time to complete that, it would have been better". Problem is, you did have more time, you just created a situation to give yourself an excuse.

You should make a list of goals, and then lists tasks needed to meet those goals & get started!! Failure is ok!

Answer 9

your question is wonderful and so are all of the answers.. pretty much everyone has experienced what you are going through. as one answerer pointed out a major key is to get your mind under control. if your negative thoughts control your life: negative thought comes out of "nowhere", reaction to that thought, usually self-condemnation, etc. it becomes a never ending stream of self perpetuating negativity--not ideal! classic methods for helping to calm the mind--the most central generator of the "problems" is meditation and other "energy work". check out the following for starters would be my advice: www.sahajayoga.com. an excellent source for connecting with strong, positive frequencies which will help you to still your mind, and reading *the complete idiot's guide to toltec wisdom*, unquestionably the clearest explanation of how the human mind works, and how to offset the dysfunctionality that does effect us if we let it run unchecked. also, regular exercise is a big help. other "energy work" which helps to calm and balance out the mind-body-soul complex would include reiki, tai chi, acupuncture, yoga, etc. we are each responsible for making the effort to help heal ourselves. if you don't "bother to" you know what the result is in misery and pain. best of luck!

Answer 10

This seems to be about self confindance, personal responsibility, and personal power. Blaming others only gives them power over you when you are ready to accept full responsibilty you will have full power over yourself, add a dash of self confidence and you can steer your life where ever you want to go.