How do I learn to relax and enjoy life without allowing the stress to get to me?

Answer 1

you need to settle down during times of frustration and consider a long view of life, you need to concentrate on the good things you have in life, you need to stop thinking that everything should go your way all the time

life is not like that, most people do not get their way even 50% of the time

think about this:

you are not a starving child in the deserts of africa, it could be a lot worse

you probably have a decent job, air conditioning, a vehicle that can take you anyplace you want to go, at the least some sort of family or friend emotional support system, and you live in a country that is very rich

Answer 2

Being stressed is a learned behavior. You've learned to be stressed. It will take time and effort to unlearn this response to life. And know that you're not alone. Many of us struggle with this.

Not all "stress" is bad. Life would be totally boring if we didn't have little challenges, goals and objectives along the way. It's when the stress is so intense that it is counter productive that get's us.

Several things have helped me. First is adjusting my perspective on life. Looking at life from God's perspective or at least some kind of positive perspective has helped me a lot. Seeing goodness, grace and love in the world around you is a positive perspective. This is probably the biggest issue because we've all been trained to look at life from a certain perspective. Second, define the stress that you feel. Are there tones of worry, anxiety beneath the stress or feelings of anger, frustration and/or guilt. Get specific and ask why you feel that way. It usually goes back to perspective. Third, is reminding yourself often about what you really want. What do you want out of life? Is being stressed giving you what you want. What kind of attitude and/or behavior will give you what you want. Last of all, is what you are doing making you more stressed? Things like lying, cheating, etc. can make you more stressed. I've found that even just going the speed limit has taken a lot of stress out of my day. Instead of driving frantically down the road to get there on time, I work at leaving earlier so that my drive can be a calming experience. I crank up my favorite music (Joe Satriani and/or Eric Johnson) and enjoy the ride. If traffic is bad, I call ahead on my cell phone to let them know that it's bad and I'm going to be late.

If you use the above to process your stress it will be slow at first. But eventually you will find the ability to process stress faster and faster. The above is a great method to defuse and process just about any kind of negative emotion.

Just knowing that you are loved for who you are and that everything is going to be alright is a great place to start (your perspective). Hope that helps. Love, joy and peace to you.

Answer 3

It is very hard to keep stress out. Believe me, I am there. But if you can find a place where you could be alone, and shut out the whole world for just a day, This will help a lot.
However, this place can not be in a building or any other man made place.....it needs to be you and nature. Once there, look at the trees or water or clouds or rocks. See no visable evidence of humans. Think about the place you are in and all the natural beauty around you. If you can concentrate hard enough on that, you will find the peacfulness you are seeking.

Answer 4

Some of the things I've been doing that have worked are:

Try to live in the moment. Don't think about what you will do next, what will happen tomorrow, what happened in the past, only what is happening now. Focus on enjoying what you're doing or who you're talking to. I used to be so wrapped up in the stress of the whole day that I missed so many opportunities to just enjoy myself. For instance, when I would take a shower I would be thinking about all the things I had to do once I got out of the shower. What I would wear, how I was going to do my hair, what work was going to be like that day and so on. Now I try to block all of that from my mind and instead think about how nice the hot water feels on my skin. How great the soap smells. How nice it feels when I lather up the shampoo on my hair. The other thoughts try to invade all the time, but I just push them back out and focus on the moment. This has been soooo relaxing for me! It's a great way to start the day! If you can do that throughout the day, focusing on the joy of each moment, it will be a big help!

Be aware of your thoughts. Stress results from the thoughts that are going through our minds. If you can identify negative thoughts and instead focus on thinking about the good in your life, it makes a huge difference! This is no easy task though. We all have been thinking these negative thoughts for years and years, so we have to train ourselves to start thinking more positively. One thought I used to have all the time was "if I don't pay the bills I'll be out on the street, but I don't have the money to pay the bills!" But, I have never been on the street because I didn't pay my bills. So now when that thought tries to enter, I counter it with "I don't really have the money to pay all the bills this month, but I'll figure something out and it will be okay, it always is."

Breathing techniques. I used to think this was just silly. My life was in an uproar and no amount of breathing was going to change that! Although, I have since learned that learning how to slow your breathing really makes your body calm down and in turn can help calm your mind. It's best if you also work on not thinking negatively.

And last, but not least - Cut down on the sugar and caffiene. It's difficult to focus your mind and your breathing when you have this stuff pumping through your body.

These things may not seem like much, but they make a huge difference. Take it from someone who knows!

:)

Answer 5

I have found that having a hobby works for me. There are several things that I enjoy such as computer, woodworking, gardening, and even doing something to make my house look better. The point is that you need an activity that will focus your attention in another direction, and I do mean activity. This clears your mind of the stress and can even help you to think clear enough later when you have to go back to the stress. Leave the booze alone during these times.

Answer 6

Read motivational books. Surround yourself with only positive people. Stop repeating negative reaffirmations, such as: I can't do that, I am stupid, I am poor, I can't find a good job, I am fat, I am ugly, etc... We have about 5000 thoughts a day. It is up to us to train ourselves to stop when we catch ourselves thinking a negative thought? What do you feed your mind will come true. It is not a chance, or accident. It is a matter of law. It has no other choice but to come true. Someone here mentioned Bible. I would definitely start there, maybe a Bible study group? But there are also other books which I would highly recommend. They are as follow:

• "Mind Power" by John Kehoe,
• "Million Dollar Habits" by Brian Tracy
• "Principles of Success" by Jack Canfield.
• "Dare to Dream and Work to Win" can't remember the author.

These are just the few... But start with the Bible or the Mind Power or both at the same time. They'll change your thinking!

But for sure, get rid of negative people in your life. And by that, I don't mean stop seeing them. Just become very busy all of a sudden. Negative people drain your energy and make you vulnerable. If you surround yourself with achievers, positive go getters, you will become one.

Good luck!

Answer 7

just realise that in 100 years we will all be dead and the next generation will take over the concerns that we have today

or join a religion ( whatever floats your boat)

go for a long drive ( that really helps me. not just 20 km, do a 4000km round trip (2500 miles)) set aside $20,000 to account for fuel.

when you're feeling stressed think about what youd like to do tomorrow. set a target for doing something nice.
let that extra person in from the side road into the traffic feel good knowing that you made someone elses life a bit less stressful.

keep the elevator open for the person running to it. (try not to laugh at their face if they miss it by a few seconds)

go get a coffee, (stuff the boss, let him worry about that deadline he assigned to you)
smile and laugh, this is important. i try and make sure i appear happy when around others. i also do stupid and or funny things which make people think "god that guy was a dips**t loser, thank god im not that bad....

heheheheheheh

Answer 8

A book I've found helpful is Dale Carnegie's, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." It helped me put things in perspective. Now when I catch myself worrying I look at that book or say to myself, "What is the worst thing that can happen? And can I handle it?" So far I've been able to handle whatever has come my way, and mine hasn't been an easy life (but I do get to learn a lot!). Or sometimes I can't sleep because I'm excited about something I'm doing the next day. Better to worry on the positive side, to worry about things that haven't happened is a waste of your time. As is worrying about things that have happened.

Another trick is to simply focus on another subject. It is impossible to think about two things at the same time. Keep trying, you'll get better and better at it.

And think about humility patches in quilting. A humility patch is one square or piece that is different in some way. It is traditional in quilt making to have that one piece present in all kinds of quilts. They do this in Persian rugs as well. The humility patch is to honor God, who is the only one who can create perfection. And hey, his version of perfection also has a few flaws! So don't be so hard on yourself with that darned perfectionism. Some things don't have to be done to perfection, you can balance this out by being sloppy about things that really don't matter much.

Good luck, I hope you find peace.

Answer 9

go fishing, don't do what some have said drink beer, whiskey, do drugs, rock -n- Roll is ok but these other things just cover the problems up for a short period of time. Then usually get you into more trouble. Take it from me an alcoholic. It's that way with alot of rings of life such as a ring of people, it could be sex, drugs, gambling, smoking. They aren't all negative until they make you negative. I pay child support and don't get to see my son, and if I would of realised what all those things were doing to me at the time(sex, drugs, booze) I wouldn't be in this situation today.

Answer 10

Im not sure if this can ever be done.
It is proberbly a very difficult thing to do ,I think if I was stressed I would try Yoga or maybe hypnotism Paul Mckenna is very good . I think his books and DVDs are sold in the States as well as the uk
or try Amazon. I feel for you Stress is not a nice thing to suffer from and people dont understand something you cant see.