Ok, I have or maybe I should say had a best friend. We were tight for over 16 yrs. She is usually cool & we have fun when we chill together. (No we never hooked up) The only thing is she gets into these relationships where she cheats, breaks hearts, steal women from their husbands and then just dumps them & go next. The other day she called me crying because her now g/f allowed her ex husband to move back in. Then she told me she was so upset she went out and met some chick in a bar and slept with her. She asked me what I thought about it all. I told her that she plays with peoples hearts, emotions & life. She tries to make a person feel special then she dumps on them. I said that her g/f deserves better then her & if she just wanted to get bootie calls then be upfront about it. Then I told her to grow up, she takes to many chances sexually with her body. she screws all these women & sometimes it is ok to have fun but she does not have to be a SKANK. She's pissed. What did I say wrong?
2006-06-28 00:58:04 · 16 answers · asked by Lezzz 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well, it's not that you were wrong, it's that you framed it poorly.
No one does the kinds of things you've discribed unless they are severely f*cked up. This friend of yours has ZERO self esteem. The only way she can feel good about herself is to manipulate others, but eventually she thinks that she doesn't deserve to feel good, so she sabatoges it or just picks people that she knows wont stick around for long. Losers attract losers. Your friend is a loser.
You should have said something along the lines of "I'm worried about all this stuff you do, and I think you need to find a way to feel good about yourself outside of sex and putting others down". You should have reccomended some hobbies, some time away from sex, and some therapy. She needs to build herself up on her own, not by pulling other's down or by using them to fill the holes in her self-ness.
Instead you just called her a *****. Which is true, but no one likes to be told mean things about themselves, no matter how true they are. You got it off your cheast, but you pretty much guaranteed that she wont take anything you say to heart. It will just be another example of how everyone lets her down, she doesn't deserve to be loved, and hey, no one really cares about her.
2006-06-28 13:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some women find the "conquest" is more rewarding than the relationship. Men often feel the same way.
This doesn't mean she is a skank. It means she finds it difficult or impossible to form meaningful relationships. That is no reason to insult her.
I would examine your own feelings about this. Is it possible you are harboring some resentment because of all the nameless people and bad relationships she has had, you weren't even given a chance?
2006-06-28 10:24:53 · answer #2 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told her exactly what you should have as a friend. Some people can't handle the truth. You are clearly the more mature one and she should be grateful to have an intelligent and caring friend in her life. Give her some time to think and hopefully she will come around. Keep thinking the way that you do. Maybe it will rub off on her one day.
2006-06-28 22:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Splenda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she didn't want an answer to her question she shouldn't have asked it. Its true if you just want to screw around be up front about it. I think you told her what she needs to hear, though it is always hard to be told you are a skank. Maybe she will think about how her life is going. At any rate if she is a true friend she will get over her mad and thank you.
2006-06-28 10:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by golden oldy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just said the truth. Yopur friend is obviously an imatutre person with sentimental issues. Dont worry about it, when she comes to her senses she will see that you are right. If she doesnt it means she doesnt want real friends but people to tell her every thing she does is ok and she's always right.
2006-06-28 08:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by metafrastria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say anything wrong. You obviously care enough about your friend to make sure to be there to help.
One point though: Her behaviors are suspiciously similar to Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms. She needs to find a doctor and recieve professional help. Promiscuity is the biggest symptom of them all. ~from someone living with BPD.
2006-06-29 14:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have been a little tough but sometimes a friend needs tough love and I think that is what you showed her. She is probably mad because she knows it is the truth and doesn't want to accept it. She will, eventually, and hopefully, she will not feel too guilty to come back to you, her true friend.
2006-06-28 08:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say anything worng. You should also tell her what goes around, comes around. and thats what exactly happened to her. she hurt so many people and now she's feeling exactly how they did. Don't feel bad, some people just find it hard to accept the truth.
2006-06-28 08:03:38 · answer #8 · answered by Irish_bi_female 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong if you were friends it is kinda your duty to let her know I mean mabey you could have saved her life in a sense by doing this she may think twice now and be more cautious with who she is with
2006-06-28 10:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by ThE OnE aNd OnLy ..PEPSIGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to attempt to share somethign with you. There was a guy named Job and his friends tried to give him advise but they all spoke outside the will of God finding fault in Job. Kinda like the pot calling the kettle black.
God Bless
2006-06-28 08:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by cc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋