We drove past the church where we were married and I was reminising about our wedding when he turned to me in an angry voice and said...Frankly I thought you were a laughing jackass!
My feelings were instantly hurt. He never wants to celebrate our anniversary. He says he loves me and gives me gifts all year round but never on that day. Why would he be angry after 25 years? Later he appologized and said he should not have said that but for me it ruined that memory of that day.
What do you think?
Please be nice!
2006-06-28 00:55:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did laugh through the ceremony but it was because I was so happy. He says he was trying to be serious. I would like to believe that but if you look at our wedding photo he is not smiling. I am beaming from ear to ear.
If he did not want to marry me why did he stay all these years. Our kids are grown and gone and there is nothing else holding him if he wants to go. I do think he loves me I just can't figure out why he punishes me on our anniversary. He knows full well it hurts me for him to void that day.
2006-06-28 04:26:21 · update #1
What an unusual thing to say to someone about their wedding day after 25 years of marriage. Doesn't want to ever celebrate anniversary? I think there are some problems that you have chosen not to see all these years. It doesn't sound like this man has been very happy.
2006-06-28 01:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something happened with him on that day that he chose not to share at the right time, so now he is being passive aggressive to hurt you about it. Tell him that you are sorry something negative happened but he must understand that that day is very precious to you. It sounds like you all have a good thing. Maybe the memory of your special day will truly belong to you alone. My husband and I had a beautiful wedding, but he acted like an a**hole when it came down to us having to pay for part of the wedding. He made it seem like my parents had to cover every dime or they had failed as parents. This is the only thing that has ever made me want to choke him. So... I try to avoid certain conversations because the fact that he "negativized" (that's right, I made up a word!) a part of our special day upsets me. Your husband may have a similar thing and may have just been jealous you were so joyous. No shame in that. Again, just let your anniversary be YOUR day and don't let him steal your joy anymore.
2006-06-28 08:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a strange comment! You have told him it hurt you, but have you asked why he said it? There has to be some reason for the comment - whether it was related to the actual day you got married or whether he was just grumpy the day he said it is probably a good guide. Reading between the lines I would say there are 'other issues' surrounding his comment - whether he wants to reveal those - time will tell!!
Don't you worry yourself about it - people can be very hurtful and insensitive - just pity them because it's not a nice trait to have.
2006-06-28 08:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by Happyface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would make me mad too, if he told me that , I would had to run my mouth back off at him. But maybe he said that, cause he could resent getting married. Maybe due to the lose of his freedom being single, or not reach his goals ahead of time.
Men are so strange, I know cuz I live with one.
Ask him about it, see what bugs him about that day. Sit down and have a good talk with him.
2006-06-28 08:42:46 · answer #4 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys just don't think before they speak. I am sorry, I would feel the same way you do. I would be extremely hurt and mad. Don't talk to him for a few days, Let him know you are really hurt and mad regardless if he said sorry. I don't care, that is supposed to be the most important day of a woman's life. Don't let him off the hook so easy with this one.
2006-06-28 08:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think he would say that?
What happened on that day that he would rather forget?
Anyway, other than that he sounds a great guy, we all have little quirks and imperfections. Forgive and forget.
It might be an idea to have another wedding (Church or registry office) with loved ones and this can then be both your special day to remember. Think about it.
2006-06-28 08:02:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a passive/aggesive to me, he found a way to hurt you and he is using it. If I were you I would have a conversation with him and ask him why he felt that way. Maybe he still resents his loss of freedom.
2006-06-28 08:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by gringgia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he has issues, and you should get to the bottom of it.
2006-06-28 07:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋