what do you do when you know your mums having an affair but ur dad doesn't know??

Question

I feel terrible, I don't know what to do? I can't look at my mom in the eyes, Please help me.

Answer 1

I would talk to my mum. Sit down with her, somewhere private. Firstly make sure you tell her you love her, and you want her to know that. Then air your suspicions, don't point the finger, just make sure you let her know you are finding it hard being around her and you don't want it to go on like this. Tell her that your dad deserves to know what is going on, its respectful and the sooner he knows, the sooner this can be sorted out.
Either they will go their separate ways, or she will confess to you and say that she is going through a strange time in her life and she is confused. Make sure you tell her that if she doesn't tell your dad, then you will have no respect for her left.

Answer 2

If you can get time alone in the house where you know no-one can walk in or disturb you, tell your mum that you have a personal problem you have to talk to her about. (Or go out for a walk.) That way she will think it's about you and not run away from the problem (wanting to help her daughter.) Don't run away from the hard questions, the sooner you TALK to each other and try for a solution the better for all of you, especially you. That way you can both Talk, Shout, Cry and Laugh. Most of all, you'll know exactly what's going on and where you stand. Then you BOTH must decide what to do about your Dad. Best wishes to you and Be Brave and don't be pushed into keeping secrets that big - it will make you ill.

Answer 3

If you both love your parents, first thing you should do is to talk to your mum, tell her that you know the truth and ask why she's doing it. If the reason is that she doesn't love you da anymore then she should be honest with herself or things will get worst soon. But you have to be prepared of whatever circumstances might come, they maybe work it out or end up separating ways. i know it's to difficult but it's all up to their decision. The only thing you can help is tell both of them to be honest and come to the open and be fair enough of both sides and try to understans them. Dont make things worst by rebelling or doing bad things that against their will. This time they both need you.

Let them understand how important a family is and how important they are to you. If you can do sometihing to save the relationship do so but in a proper and nice way.

Goodluck girl.

Answer 4

That's really horrible.

You either tell your Dad, how would you feel if it was being done to you? That way they can talk about why she wanted to get off with another man, and maybe they can sort out their relationship. Telling your Dad, doesn't necessarily mean your parents have to split up. Also tell your Dad not to tell your Mum you told him, this way your Mum won't blame you.

Or, remain loyal to your Mum, and never let your Dad find out. Your Mum could end up running away with this man, so I'd suggest the above option. Also, talk to your Mum about it first.

Answer 5

If you keep this inside and to yourself you will resent your Mother for the rest of your life. I suggest talking to her about secrets and how they damage the person keeping the secret as much as the people who are kept in the dark. I would tell my Dad to open his eyes to somethings that are going on in the house that he hasn't noticed. Warn him that when he finds out he is going to be hurt, but know that there is no reason for him to feel bad or blame himself. If they don't get the hint, you can tell them that you feel terrible because someone doesn't have the best interest of the family at heart. Leave and let them talk. At this point, any adult would know that this meant someone is cheating. I say to do it this way so that you are kept out of the middle as much as possible. Praying for peace and honesty in your home...

Answer 6

Speak to your mum about it. Tell her how you feel about it. Above all try to remain calm and civil - a heated argument over a very sensitive issue can be disasterous.

You can try and seek help with counsellors in you area. You GP may have a list of them. Some of them work on a voluntary payment basis, meaning that you only pay if you can. Waiting lists can be long though.

Answer 7

hello there my children had the same trouble when they found out there dad was cheating on me such a terrible burden to be put on a child but they confronted there father and made him tell me the truth if your dad knows u know explain to him what this is doing to you get him to come clean the outcome may not be exactly what you want but there will be no more lies and u can all get on with your life a little better i hope this helps and i wish you all the best xxx jayne

Answer 8

I have also been in your situation too, though a long time ago (I'm 31 now)

Your mother has behaved irresponsibly and must take responsibility for her behaviour. In my case my mother actually confided her infidelity in me, which is beyond stupid and unfair. I hope that this is not the case with you.

You must talk to her and tell her that she has placed you in an intolerable position and she has to come clean very soon for your sake. After my dad found out my mother had cheated he was distressed, when he found out that I had known for over 2 years he was angry with me too. You do not want to be in this position trust me, it will lead to untold heartache.

Don't allow your parents to divide your loyalties, and if this gets too much for you- talk to an outside party- trusted friend or family member, don't take the burden all alone.

I hope you stay well

S
x

Answer 9

your mom is cheating upon your dad. it would be in the best interest of your family that you find a few solid proof against your mom and then tell your papa about it. it will be tough for you in both the case, remaining silent to the affair and by letting out the secret. but it would be best if your papa knows about it. either way your family will break if maturity isn't shown by your mom.

Answer 10

I had the same problem. The first thing to do is to talk with your mother about that, so you feel better. Let her explain you her reasons of doing that and try to accept them or even understand them. Your parents will always be your parents wheather they are together or seperate. This is not your fault and you can't do anything about that. It's clearly their decision. You must retain good relation woth both of your parents. You shouldn't in no case to be between them. This is the worse. Try to understand the situation and be realistic. Try to come to your parents position. What would you do?