gays, lesbians??/?

Question

Okay, i haven't had much contact with you guys, i only once went to a gay club with a friend...one thing though struck me, there is some sort of unity and openness which i don't normally see in other places, i truly admire that but I am wondering what causes it, is it becoz, you guys are sort of persecuted or seen as the other which stick thus stick you together?? I am sorry if this sounds weird or wrong but you are different in a sense, do u discover when you are a teenager or later that you are gay or lesbian??

thank you guys for your response. i don't think I am gay, I find men rather fascinating though I am still technically a virgin at 23. what's worrying me though is that I sometimes develop this attraction for my own sex. its usually my teachers and I'm not very comfortable with that. its not like sexual,I'm not sure what to call it, what do you think, might I be bisexual or its a passing phase?

Answer 1

Hello dear "Yours Truly"!
It seems you handle everything very well! You know the whole case deeply and thoroughly!
Attraction between people is always a great feeling and most of times is not sexual!
As you wrote, you are attracted to some female teachers and this is fine, since they are good and you would like to be like them, in some issues!
You seem to me an all around great person! Dynamic and with your brain in your head! Congratulations and go on!

Answer 2

Human sexuality is one of the most complex parts of what makes us human. We have so many different levels of attraction and fascinations that it is impossible to classify them all. Just looking at opposite/same gender attraction you have many different levels of that to. Kinsey had it right I believe. His scale shows the truth in such a clear and precise way. There are the 1's who are 100% hetero and the 6's who are 100% homosexual. Then there is 2 through 5 where there is varying degrees of same gender opposite gender attraction. I am in the exact middle of that scale. I could love either a man or a woman and choose either as a life partner. Some bisexual only have a desire to have sex with the same gender and not enough attraction to love that person as a life partner Yet has more attraction and can have romantic feelings for the opposite gender. Others have only enough attraction to have sex with the opposite gender but much more attraction for their own gender so that they can only feel romantic love for their own gender.
We all know we have these tendencies from birth we just don’t always know what to call it or how to identify it. As our sexuality develops we realize we are different and many of us try desperately to cling to any sense of normalcy that we can. Many bisexuals decide that they can live straight and many do. But the desire never truly goes away. I knew that I was bisexual from a very early age but denied my feelings for men because I wanted to be normal. I got married had a family but still the desire is there. I am just as much a bisexual now as I was when I was younger. Many homosexuals that are 6 on the Kinsey scale have no choice but to either live celibate or live as a lesbian, or as a g0y or gay man. This I think is part of the animosity that is an undercurrent among gay and lesbians for bisexuals. There is the resentment that "you can live straight why are you here with us." I hope that every one who reads this knows that not one of us chooses this. Even though many of us would not change it for anything really none of us wanted this when we where first hit with the realization. Life would be so much easier if we where straight. This coupled with the persecution that we all face is the unifying factor that runs deep within the GLBT group.

Answer 3

they tend to stick in groups because, unfortunately, thats the only time they feel comfortable or in a sense "safe" around each other because hey, they have something in common that isnt generally accepted by some of the straight community.

and about the sexuality, you kind of have a sense that you might be gay or bi when youre a child but it doesnt really register until the later years. they is no set age where you just find out, everyone has a different story. no body can truely give you a set answer for this because youre a totally different person. if you think you might be gay or bi, dont worry about it (thats a mistake way to many people make and they stress out) and let it all come naturally in time.

cheers mate!

Answer 4

It depends on the context. Yes there is a unity that developes among all people who suffer under persecution [look at the jews. People discover it differently, depending on the context and the person. A person in a strictly religious enviroment will find out differently than someone who has a community of openness

Answer 5

I'll answer the latter question first. Different people come to the realization at different times. Some have kinda always known (GLB people are coming out to OTHER people at an increasingly earlier age; whether that's reflective of their own self-realization or of a greater likelihood to be accepted, or both I don't know), some people kind of realize really late in life. Really individual question. Most of my friends in college who are now out have stated 10th grade as the magical year of self-realization.

As for the main question, I THINK what you're getting at is the concept of "queer space". As a gay male in a straight world, I'm never completely at ease. There are some times where it's a matter of physical safety, but it's usually more just...like you walk through life knowing that no one knows the REAL you; everyone's assuming you're something you're not, and for many of them, if they did know, they'd hate you on the spot. When you're in a place that's designated "queer space" (gay bars, certain community centers, the whole city street during Pride), you don't have all of that. And you're going to have all kinds of disagreements with the people around you, but on that one issue you know you're safe.

As far as actual cohesion; where were you? I wish I saw more of it.

Answer 6

In my experience gays and lesbians are a more open and accepting group than most, not just with each other. Maybe because we know how it feels to be shut out and ridiculed---I don't know. Knew I was different as a little kid but didn't realize what the difference was till early teens.

Answer 7

I think most gay people know when they are children. They don't understand what it is until they become of sexual nature in their teens or adulthood. We stick together out of comfort and protection.

Answer 8

BECAUSE UNITY MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER, AND STRONGER, THEY PROTECT EACH OTHER.
BELIVED OR NOT THEY HAVE MORE MONEY AND POWER THAN MANY OF US, BECAUSE THEY ARE ONE.

Answer 9

yes that when I discovered it