Why is that marriages of nowadays are not stable?

Question

I have observed that there are legally or ilegally divorces in marriages all over the globe. As a result of which many parents share their children to either father or mother thereby exposing their children to danger of father or mother care, which makes their upbriging incomplete as God ordeans that husband and wife should be one entity and upbring their children in oneness and that joy and happiness in marriage will enhance uprightness, peace, good behavour, and progress in their home. And I am appealling to parent to avoid deruptting their children's marrage because many devorces are caused by inlaws.

Answer 1

The outside factors cant do anything if both the spouses respect and love eachother and are interdependent.It is a common myth that inlaws are responsible for breaking marriages.Ultimately it is the price we pay for being in a family,with the society--adjustment,which is 'just',not unfair on either of the spouse.If one spouse demands he leave his responsibilities of mom and sister-brother who are yet in schools,is it just?If a husband demands his wife to clean cook and work for the living,is it just?Infidelity--a common cause for divorces,money matters--how to and where to spend money,are causing divorces.Cant there be a harmonius understanding between both of them,along with getting well with the family members too?It needs,love compromise and a feeling of interdependence.Everybody now a days is ready to pack up things and part ways for silly reasons.Kids suffer a lot.Kids today are missing thier masculine role model--a survey shows.Girls are missing out paternal security.Whats going on everywhere?Arent we ourselves to blame?
To say that marriages earlier were stable needs a second thought.
Marriages were unhappy but official divorces were less.Now people want a happy marriage or no marriage.

Answer 2

Sometimes "joy and happiness in marriage" are not possible, for any number of reasons. Cheating, abuse, lying, financial disputes, stealing, laziness, sexual frustration... These problems can take their tolls on people.

If two people decide, for whatever reason, that they are no longer experiencing joy or happiness, due to one of the above problems, there is no amount of "fixing" that can be done. People get divorced because there is a problem that cannot be solved ("marriage is irretrevably broken") through counseling, religion, or other things (usually when one member of the relationship sees the problem, and the other does not).

Which is better, a child/children "switching" between their parents, possibly not seeing one parent again, or child/children living with two people WHO ARE NOT EXPERIENCING JOY AND HAPPINESS IN THEIR MARRIAGE. If there is no joy, then there is sadness, despair, emotional distress... Possibly actions by one or both parents that could DAMAGE their children.

I believe marriages are not as stable today because people are more willing to stand up for themselves and get out of relationships that are damaging to themselves or their children.

Personally, of ALL the MANY divorces I've seen involving parents and children, NOT ONE was a divorce of selfishness (ie. mom and dad just "don't have the feeling anymore"), instead, it was ALWAYS a necessity due to abuse of some form or another.

Answer 3

I may not have a long answer like the other people over here. All I know about the percentage of divorces, according to my observation, is due to materialism. Husbands ignore their family and wives in pursuit of more and more of money, the women encourage their husbands to earn more (from any fair or unfair means), quarrels take place between life-partners due to lack of 'luxuries' that they see others with and envy.

The love for children is becoming lesser by the passing day, and the love for materialism more. I don't say that a person should not earn well, but the pursuit of more money from fair or unfair means instill such elements in relationships where the better-half never feels better.

Some people say here that it is disastrous for a couple to stay together if they have differences. I say if you love your kids enough, you have all the reasons to tolerate your spouse for your children's sake. And I guarantee that if you quit envying others, all shall be good.

Desire for luxuries/more money is like gas, the more you put in fire, the more it blazes. It never extinguishes unless you put Carbon dioxide in the form of tranquility and simplicity.

Answer 4

Unstable marriages are brought about by many factors. Financial difficulties resulting to mental disorders and boredom; infidelity on the part of either spourse; immaturity; no children to make the marriage bond more solid and firm; etc.

Broken marriages cause emotional disturbance, spiritual anxiety, and mental fatigue not only to the couple who separated ways but more especially to the real victims who are their children.

You're very right when you said that parents should avoid meddling so much with their children's marriages because in-law relationships more often than not cause marital break-ups because each spouse defends his/her family's interest. This causes disappointments between the spouses which turns to bitterness or even hatred for each other which leads to separation at the end.

Parents should just guide their children who get married but let them live the lives according to how they want to live them. Parents should only give bits of advise but should not compel their married children to do what they want them to do. Parents should treat as their own children their sons- or daughters-in-law and try to love them the same way they love their children. But I know this is something difficult to achieve. At least, if they cannot love them as they love their children, at least, parents should respect their in-laws rights as individuals with unique characteristics and traits.

Emotional, mental,and spiritual maturity should go hand in hand to make the marriage work and survive the tests of time.

Answer 5

Alot of people will talk about the partners being Patient, Tolerant and Understanding - that is bull!
Most partners are NOT really ready to be part of that Mathematical Equation 1 + 1 = 1; so, everyone tries to enforce one's individuality upon the other, and fiercely so, hence only external factors can keep us together. These external factors MUST be what each person hold with esteem on his/her own rather than in partnership. Religion, fear of loneliness, children and so forth, but never In-laws - they are humans with their personal struggles too
We tend to get married these days either because we think it's the right time, or because we think we found the right partner. The luckiest amongst us is the person who is right on the money... finding the right partner at the right time. That is ONE in a Billion.
As far as your appeal goes.... Hhmmmnnnn... A.M.E.N

Answer 6

We have sadly become a very hollow society across the globe seeking self intrest rather that which we should seek. We seek physical atytractiveness as the most important value in a marriage rather than the issue of friendship,communication and the heart. If we were all to marry our best friends (of the opposite sex of course) we would find a marriage that could withstand any outside force because the communication and closeness are too strong.

Answer 7

inlaws are a 50% cause of divorces yes i believe so perhaps children may be 5% inability to be faithfull would be 40% and 5% just dont know what true love is and get married anywasy and do not know the ourpose of a marriage children always get brought into it,parents wil never stop getting involved between a marriage of there son or daughter because no one is veer good enough or one wont do what the parent wants and how they want so its either move away from them or put up with it

Answer 8

People are more enlightened now and unwilling to live in a terrible relationship. I am not so sure that one can force joy and happiness into a marriage, and children brought up in an environment of pain and loneliness are not going to look favorably on the institution of marriage. To say that people should stay married because a deity ordains it is ignorant at best.

Answer 9

Because many people do not have God as a part of their
marriage. When God is involved in a marriage the couple
turn to God to work out things when they go wrong & to
trust God to make things right. They take the time to
work on the marriage because they know that is
what God wants them to do.
Others give up on their marriage because they don't know what else to do & they don't ever see it getting any better. ( I feel this way because of my life experiences)
I've been married 9 years now & yes my husband & I
may have our differences, but we respect eachother
& make compromises for eachother.

Answer 10

Don't blame anyone but yourselves. People are so afraid that they will end up alone, That they frantically look for "the one". So desperate to find it that they read 'true love' into every person they are attracted to. Fact is, Attraction keeps coming after you've chosen your "only one".
Wait until you're 30!!! The odds of staying together would go up dramatically.