My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. He is an alcoholic and tries to get help, but it never works. he is verbally abusive when he gets drunk. One of his old friends has started showing intrest in me. I had a crush on him before I met my husband. Im so confused, I have feelings around him that I should have around my husband.
2006-06-27 23:05:12 · 26 answers · asked by Jamie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
For goodness sakes don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire!!
There is NO WAY you can nurture the attention that your husband's friend is bringing your way. You're asking for a life and death situation to develop...I'm serious.
Your husband is a drinker and he needs little to no reason to go nuclear on the two of you. You need to get to Al-Anon immediately or to a minister in your neighborhood. You can not successfully maintain this marriage without a fatal climatic boiling point occurring.
Don't walk run to get some counseling help.
2006-07-10 22:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by blakelycollierbrown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wHAT your're experiencing is the could have, would have, should have, It's hind sight to all of those things.
Questions you should ask yourself. Do you still love your husband or are you just co existanting with him?
If you're just co-existanting ...do yourself a favor then and divorce him. Alcoholics will always remain an alcoholic...Trying always to get help but always stay drunk, then abuse the wife and children. Vicious vicious cycle that only you can put an end to.
The feelings you're having for the friend need to be put in check until you've made some serious decisions with your own life. Don't mess it up more by jumping from one frying pan to a pot of hot boiling water!!!
2006-07-11 17:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If yr marriage is over u need to end yr relationship w/ yr husband first and then see what happens w/ the other guy but don't go cheating on yr husband w/ this guy because that will only make things worse especially if u have kids w/ your husband. Never go outside your relationship to try and solve your problems in it, that never works. Maybe u should try & work things out w/ yr husband, he needs to get more help if he can't clean up his act then maybe u should leave him. He's already verbally abusive towards u how much longer b4 he gets phyical w/ u and u don't want that. Hope I helped!!
2006-07-12 05:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by P K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my soon to be ex husband is a drunk. he too was verbally abusive and i know how hard it is especially considering i had 2 kids with him. but we have been split up for 7 years now and it took a lot of time but we are actually on a friendly basis now and i am in love and about to marry the man of my dreams, a man i met 11 years ago. you do not have to stay in a bad relationship and trust me this guy probably won't change ( my ex still drinks). if you have someone else, i say go for it. but remember cheating is never ok.
2006-07-11 15:39:51 · answer #4 · answered by crzinluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Jamie whats scary is the fact that your husband is a drunk and If he is a violent drunk then Id get out of the relationship.I sure would test his limits.I understand there is a deep attraction but what kindof person would it make you or your husbands friend.
2006-06-28 06:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't terrible, you're vulnerable. Be careful though, don't do anything that you'll be sorry for later. Marriage is for better or worse, so either be there for hubby, or leave him.
Anyway, if this man was truly your husbands old friend, he would never show interest in you.
Concentrate your emotions on trying to help your husband overcome his addiction, and you'll feel better about yourself.
2006-07-10 14:32:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not terrible.
Ok all depends upon you with whom do you have the most deep feelings with you have just go with him.
It might be hard for you to leave your husband but.....Is about you dear.And make sure that the old friend is really good as you think.
2006-06-28 06:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by sonu1651 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not terrible. You've noticed someone who is showing genuine interest in you and that's made you feel good. To me it sounds like your husband has pushed you away and now you need to feel wanted,it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human :)
2006-06-28 06:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by cc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its up to you! if u love your husband den you would stay with him and be with him if you feel like you can. however, if you have strong feelings for this old friend and alittle love with you husband den you would have him. but you have to think otherwise. jus go back and remeber why you married your husband and look through the good points about him. but does this guy love you back/ its all up to you. but just follow your heart.
2006-06-28 06:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by loopyandbrainy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to think of anyone else fist you should decide about your first relation with your husband .be true to yourself.if you think that you can help your husband to become better do it unless first divorce and then be with your ideal person.betrayal and cheating are worse than any thing else.
be carefull about the motivation of that old friend.does he really love you?why?
2006-06-28 06:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by sara sea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋