Please correct the grammar or other, this is Part 1, it's for my speech, please.....?

Question

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. First of all, I’m Daniel from Sutomo 2 Junior High School and I would like say thank you to everybody for the opportunity to stand here and follow this speech competition. Today I would like to talk about How to Improve Quality of Education in Medan by Pemko Medan.

Education is one of the most important things for the countries that want to be prosperous ones. Also, education is the source of bright future. Thus, we, all of us must have high education to reach the bright future. By the way, if we talk about the education in our country, there are so many problems due to the education. Let’s start with the folk’s problems, so much of them that don’t have enough money to get the educations for their children or for them. Some of the people too have a thought that they don’t need education to get jobs. In fact, by not having any education, they won’t be employed.

Answer 1

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. First of all, I’m Daniel from Sutomo 2 Junior High School and I would like say thank you to everyone for the opportunity to stand here and participate in this speech competition. Today I would like to talk about How to Improve the Quality of Education in Medan by Pemko Medan.

Education is one of the most important things for the countries that want to be prosperous . Also, education is the source of a bright future. Thus, we, all must have a high education to reach a bright future. By the way, if we talk about education in our country,we find there are so many problems due to the lack of education. Let’s start with the parents' problems, so many of them don’t have enough money to get educations for their children or for themselves. Some people think that they don’t need an education to get a job. In fact, by not having an education, they will be unable find employment.

Answer 2

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I’m Daniel from Sutomo 2 Junior High School and I would like to thank you for this opportunity which allowed me to compete in this speech competition. [You can also say, "I am grateful for this opportunity to compete in this speech competition"]
Today I would like to talk about How to Improve Quality of Education in Medan by Pemko Medan.

Education is one of the most important things for countries that want to be prosperous. It is an essential element in what can result in a bright future for many, and hence, an important course of action for all of us.

Having said this, it is important to address the dilemma in education faced by our country, as there are so many problems. To begin many people don’t have enough money to provide education for their children.

To compound that fact, some people think that they don’t even need education to get jobs. When in fact, by not having any education, they won’t be employed.


Good luck man!

Answer 3

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Daniel and I attend Sutomo 2 Junior High School abd I would like to thank you all for the opportunity to compete in this competition. Today I am going to discuss "How to Improve Quality of Education in Medan" by Pemko Medan. (NOTE: Is this an article, essay or book? If so, this is fine. If this is your concept, then you will need to change this sentence)

Education should be one of the top priorities for any country that wants to be prosperous. Educating its young people is the source of any country's future. There are many problems with the education system in our country. The cost of a good education is higher than many people can afford, for their children or themselves. It is out of reach for much of the population. In addition to the cost, many young people think that they do not need an education to get a job. The truth is that not having a good education will prevent them from getting any but the minimum wage jobs.

Answer 4

Daniel, save your salutation for last. Be bold and direct. Begin by stating your cause. For example, Good morning, my name is Daniel, I am a student at Sutomo Jr. High and have chosen to address the importance of a quality education. Next, ask a question or two, like, How important is education, to an individual, Or better yet,to the prosperity of a country? Answer that question with the statements you have listed. Now, make a bold statement, like, The responsibility to ensure quality education in the U.S., is a joint responsibility! End with a question, What can we do as parents, students and teachers to ensure quality education for everyone? End with a simple Thank You.

Answer 5

1. There's a lot of good suggestions above. However, I suggest...

2. Good morning nudies undo gentlemen. First of bull, I’m Dune from Stomp 2 Junior High Schul und I would like Sue Plunk, you, and everybody for plea opportunity to stung here und follow dis speech renditition. Toddy I would like to tuck bout How to Implode the Quality of Education in Medusa by Perkie Median.

Edacation is done full of da most important plunges for pink countries. Pilot runt to be prosperous ones. Also, education ain't pulp source of bright future. Plus, we, bull! And of course, us must hue high education to retch pug bright future. By pea why, if we tuck rubout leed education in our county, plebes rue so moony problems due to fine education. Let’s stunt whip plotfolk’s problems, so much of plum, Pluto don’t hew enough money to get lea education’s for pliers children or for Pete. Some flea people too hue u plough Pluto ploy doesn’t need education to get jobs. In fact, by not having UNY education, yo won’t be employed.

Answer 6

Education is one of the most important things that countries need in order to be prosperous.
The sentence, "By the way, if we talk about the education in our country, there are so many problems due to the education." doesn't make sense. Maybe you mean, "due to the poor quality of education" or something like that.

Say "so many of them" instead of "so much of them"
Don't say "folks", say "poor people" or something like that. Folks is just a word that means people, but it is only used casually.
good luck!

Answer 7

It sounds pretty good. There are some grammatical mistakes, but I doubt they'll count much against you (especially if you're in junior high).
However, a few things you might want to correct -
"opportunity to stand here and follow this speech competition - since you're not really following the competition, it's better to use "speak" or "participate in this speech competition".
"we, all of us" sounds better just as "all of us".
"there are so many problems due to the education" - you might want to say "due to no education" or "due to a lack of education" since that is really what you are talking about.
"so much of them" should be "so many of them".

I can tell you put a lot of work into it - good job! :)

Answer 8

Your second paragraph lost track in what idea are you presenting. Part of the them is the use in grammar. When doing a speech, it's important to speak in as much in a formal manner as possible rather than being casual. Take the following line for example:

"By the way, if we talk about the education in our country, there are so many problems due to the education."

That line is too common and casual and doesn't make much sense. It should be done in this manner:

"On the subject, let us discuss regarding the problems of education within our country."

Not only is this line formal, it gives a clear, crisp sense of the idea that is to be discussed about.

Answer 9

Nielz---

I like your speech. I won't correct your grammar because other people have but here's what I can tell you as a person who speaks in front of a crowd often.


Use the "motivated sequence" in all speeches...

1) Grab people's attention (quote, strange fact, anecdote, etc.)
2) Explain/create a need as to why people should listen to you
3) State the extent of the problem
4) Provide resolutions to the problem
5) Demonstrate how things would be better if people took your advice

All political speeches are written using this format.

In addition, here are my recommendations:

-Don't say "good morning ladies and gentleman"--- be more specific like "good morning members of the 5th grade class and faculty"

-Don't say "first of all," there's no need for it---be concise

-Don't say "I would like to say thank you"---you're there, just say thank you if you want, and don't say "to stand here and follow this speech competition"----sound confident---say "I would like to thank you for allowing me the time to speak to you today"

-Don't start a persuasive paragraph with "education is one of the most..." start it with something that will make people immediately relate education with success, for example "All successful nations owe their prosperity to the power of education"

- Remember, if you don't sound confident and make people feel that they need to know what you're saying, they won't listen

Good Luck!

Answer 10

Why "First of all ", Say "I am ......"
You never say "Follow a competition"say "attend" or "come to".
Why "prosperous ones" only "prosperous"
Source of "a" bright future.
U have said " There are so many problems due to education". I guess what u mean is "due to lack of eductaion".
NEVER use "folks" in a speech alway use "people".