15 year old granddaughter coming to live with me, how to handle?

Question

She has been living with her grandfather, my ex, since she was six months old, and he is seriously ill. I have adopted her 11 year old brother, he's been with me since he was two. He's an honor roll student, she is just finishing the 8th grade, altho she is very intelligent. She has a track record of creating severe problems in school and at home, he has a pretty good record in that dept., nothing major. She is a very good singer, pro quality, he can't carry a tune in a bucket, but loves to try. I'm afraid of favoring him or leaning too far the other way, trying to make her feel welcome, and make him feel second class all of a sudden. I'm pretty apprehensive about the whole thing.

We really don't know each other very well, and I really hope it works out.

Advice?

Answer 1

Try not to be afraid. People smell fear. Your ex is more special to her than to you, but remember who you are. Think of the absolute worst that could happen. Where do you stand? Do you really stand where you think you do? You have to be sure of yourself! I can tell you have ideas of what might happen. Be very kind....but fearless! Address the fact that you don't know each other well. Let her know that you don't hate your ex and you're aware that she will see differences between you and him. Let her know that you both have the chance to get to know each other now and you hope that she decides that she likes you. I don't know if you and your ex spoke ill of one another but you should drop any bad feelings toward him that you have. You should know that teenagers are excellent lie detectors. If she misbehaves you should confront her by saying that her behaviour is so out of character with the young woman that you see in her. Keep things on as positive a note as possible but be fearless in confronting her kindly. Tell her that there are consequences to every action and that you know that she is smarter than that behaviour would lead one to believe. Then, softly, ask what is wrong. Imagine these possible scenarios as much as possible and think of appropriate actions ahead of time. That will help your fear and build your confidence. As you learn this young lady your imaginings will become closer to reality. You will do well. You already have with the other one!

Answer 2

Well I don't know about how to handle people since I'm only a teen, but go with the flow, if your grand daughter is really out of place, put some boundaries, don't fight with her but try to understand her and what she is going through that will help better with your's and her's relationship between you guys. (Be open to her)

Answer 3

Sit down and tell them if they feel your loving or giving one more attention then the other,explain to the boy how she need encouragement and get him to encourage her and how u love him but you'll need to be working more with her because she has talent and un like him doesn't know how to use it yet.Good luck and glad you've tooken them both in u seem like a great person!

Answer 4

Well ill give you the outlook of an 16(im 16). Its hard for us gurlz to adjust to change, especially when someone we really love is very sick and we know they cant look after us anymore. i aint gon lie she is gonna express her emotions and her feelingz about it in some typa way. idk what wayz, but you just have to be ready for whateva comes, know? And as far as playin favoritez, of course ur gonna favor him more bcuz you know him more. Itz only natural but all of it will just take time. but get to know her thats important. and pay alot of attn to her bcuz she'z really goin through somethin right now and she needs all the love and support she can get right now. if she getz outta hand dont be to hard on her right now. but if she keeps gettin outta hand, slap her to sleep....lol ~6~

Answer 5

sometimes feeling like you don't belong can cause "bad" behavior so maybe doing some activities with her would help! Also a therapist or counselor she might get sad about her grandfather!! Good luck! ~suz~

Answer 6

Have You Ever...
1. Held hands with a boy? ya
2. Hugged a boy? ya
3. Touched a boy inappropriately? ya
4. Been touched by a boy inappropriately? ya
5. Kissed a boy? ya
6. Made out with a boy? ya
7. Been caught making out with a boy by an authority figure?no
8. By a friend or enemy? ya
9. Had sex with a boy?N no
10. Had oral sex? no
11. Stared a boy in the eyes? ya all the time
12. Been caught having sex by an authority figure? lol no
13. By a friend or enemy? no
14. Ran your fingers through a boys hair? ya
15. Had a boy run his fingers through your hair? ya
16. Sat on a boys lap? ya
17. Made out with a boy in the dark? ya
18. Kissed a boy in the rain? [crying] no
19. Kicked a boy in his sensitive area? ya
20. Spent more than hour flirting with a boy? omg all the time
21. Stolen your friends boyfriend? ya
22. Had your boyfriend stolen by a friend? no
23. Cheated on your boyfriend? ya
24. Been cheated on? ya
25. Slow danced with a boy? ya
26. Been on a date? ya
27. Took a walk with a boy? ya
28. Told a boy he was hot? all the time
29. Told a boy he was ugly? lol ya all the time
30. Been told you were hot? ya
31. Been told you were ugly by a boy? prolly
32. Seen a boy naked in the flesh? ya
33. Dumped a boy? ya
34. Been dumped? ya
35. Asked a boy for his number? ya
36. Had a boy ask for your number? ya
37. Embarassed yourself in front of a crush? ya but i laughed about it w/ him
38. Secretly liked your best friends boyfriend? ya
39. What about just her crush? ya
40. Lied to your boyfriend? ya

41. Been lied to by your boyfriend? ya
44. Slept with a boy without actually having sex? no
45. Been over to a boys house? ya
46. Had a boy over your house? ya
47. Done something drastic to get a boys attention? lol ya
48. Begged a guy to make out with you? i never beg! >:[
49. Been begged by a guy to make out with him? ya lol
50. Slept over a boys house? non related no

Answer 7

Well, let her have fun. Be the kool grandma, u dont want her 2 think you're the prudish evil grandma, my grandma's like it and i hete her 4 it. Dont make her hate u!

Answer 8

monotor the phone conversations of her, i know that my friend was having MEN come into her room at night and was using her grandparrents house as her "sex palace"

Answer 9

ummm juss ack normal the best thing to do

Answer 10

run for ur life granny!