i am in a very unhappy marriage and cant seem to make my husband understand that i want to divorice him but want to remain friends plus i also have found myself talking to the one true love of my life whom i always thought was out of my league but he approaced me and have just kind of going with it. what do i do?
2006-06-27 18:20:31 · 20 answers · asked by dragonfairywings 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WELL THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS PUT THE BRAKES ON YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE, UNTIL YOU'RE DIVORCED, OR AT LEAST IN DIVORCE PROCEDURES. CUZ WHAT YOU'RE DOING IF YOU'RE DOING ANYTHING AND I THINK YOU MIGHT OR MIGHT START SOON, IS CHEATING.
SO PUT THE BRAKES ON THAT AND THEN YOU NEED TO HAVE A FIRM TALK WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND LET HIM KNOW IT'S OVER (DON'T MENTION YOUR TRUE LOVE). TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT YOU'RE NOT INLOVE WITH HIM! TELL HIM YOU'D LIKE TO REMAIN CLOSE FRIENDS, BUT THAT IS ENTIRELY UP TO HIM AND HOW HE CHOSES TO ACT UPON HEARING ABOUT YOUR IMMEDIATE PLANS ON DIVORCE.
NOW IF HE STILL DOESN'T LISTEN ABOUT THE DIVORCE, THEN YOU MOVE OUT AND YOU START THE PROCEDURES. IF HE DECIDES TO BE AN *** AND CONTEST THE DIVORCE, WELL THEN HE JUST PUSHED YOU INTO LETTING UP ON THE BRAKES AND GOING FORWARD WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR NEW TRUE LOVE.
AND GIRL YOU MUST NEVER THINK SOMEONE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE! WHAT THE HELL? AND YOU HAD BETTER NOT HAVE EVER TOLD HIM THAT!!!!!!!!! HELL NO! MAYBE YOU TWO WEREN'T COMPATIBLE! BUT OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE! NO! YOU SHOULD NEVER THINK LIKE THAT! NEVER.
SO GOOD LUCK TO YOU, TAKE CARE AND I SINCERELY HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR NEW LOVE.
2006-06-27 18:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you absolutely sure you want to divorce your husband? Marriage is sometimes hard work and you might just be going through a bad patch. I'm sure you know deep down if your marriage is over or not.
You didn't say why your marriage was unhappy, how long you had been married or if you had any kids together, which are all important and relevant questions.
Once you are sure you want to leave your husband then do it. Hanging around in a dead relationship doesn't do either person any good. Try to treat your husband with respect and be honest with him though.
Make sure the new guy is everything you think he is before you dive in there though!
Hope this helps ;)
2006-06-28 01:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be fair and retain a decent relationship with your husband, end your relationship with your husband before you start an intimate relationship with this other man.
If you can't make your husband understand that you are not happy in the marriage and want out, then you will have to make the decision of staying and cheating on your husband or filing for divorce and possibly ended your relationship with your husband totally.
It is a hard decision and I hope your make the right one, but with what ever you do, make a decision so no one keeps getting hurt and that includes you.
2006-06-28 01:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...
Don't ask for the divorce... tell him.
Don't remain friends... what's the sense in that?
You want a FRIEND... buy a puppy....
Next, don't see the true love of your life... until your marriage is OFFICALLY OVER.
I suggest you live alone for a period of time... before taking up with MR. RIGHT.
And I mean at least 3 months... maybe 6
THEN...
Slowly date, and start a new life with the new guy.
LISTEN... THERE ARE NO LEAGUES... Love doesn't care if you play sand-lot or the world series.
2006-06-28 01:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not love your husband, then file for divorce.
Be prepared to loose his "friendship", don;t expect him to want to remain apart of your life if there are no kids involved.
If there are kids involved, think of them first.. not saying to stay with the husband, but to be decent parents..
If you have feelings for this other man and want to have a relationship with him, then end the marriage first, or leave the home before you and the other man connect.
If you all ready have done so, then get out of the husbands life...
Be honest with your self first of all, then the rest will be easier to deal with....
Lie to your self then all is LOST......
2006-06-28 01:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by Butterflycry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not 'The Notebook' where you can cheat on your fiancee or spouse and live happily ever after. This is the real world. You are living in a fairy tale. Been watching too many movies or something, but real life is not like that. The 'one true love of your life' is you living in a fantasy world. He's not going to trust you, and you will get tired of him and cheat on him as well. That's what happens in real life. I am deeply empathetic for you and your life long of unhappiness.
2006-06-28 01:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all if hubby can't get it stop trying to explain it to him he will or won't be friends after the divorce face it it's part of life as for the new man wait until the divorce is final and then get something started.maybe he's the right one maybe not you won't know unless you jump in and try. good luck. still talk to the new guy but let him know you are going through a divorce and are not wanting to jump back in to anything serious just yet but that you want to see where things go.
2006-06-28 01:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by SABRINA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should to divorce your husband. Its not good for either of you to be married to someone who is unhappy. But realisticly do not expect him to what to be your friend remember your the one who whats the divorce not him. But if you divorce him and it doesnt work for you and this other guy do your husband a favor and not run back to him. Hope it works out for you.
2006-06-28 01:41:43 · answer #8 · answered by Jo Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart hun and if you really want a divorce do it because if you don't you will loose the one you really want because he will not wait forever and sometime you cant be friends with an ex but try hope everything works out for ya
BEST WISHES!!!!!
2006-06-28 01:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by kathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better to sleep with 2 men than to lose sleep over 2 men.
2006-06-28 01:23:17 · answer #10 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋