I feel like I have been through so much, I tend to look at men as opportunist. Such as the opportunity to have sex with me with no committment , the opportunity to live off of me because I have a very good job, the opportunity to be in a relationship with a woman who has her ducks lined up with no children to rear. How do I know if someone really loves me and wants me for me I see men at my age as guys who already had the marriage and children and it flopped so they are left overs with x wifes and children to support.
2006-06-27 18:08:46 · 26 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I am not negative. Just very realistic. I have single parented 2 children for 18 years. I nurse full time. I have been very honest in the relationships I have been in. Its just men carry so much baggage. I think men drag out the desire to nurture and I don't want to care for another man, I want to be cared for once in my life. I have no desire to live my past, when I was divorced, I grieved and left it behind me. I want to have a life with someone who will put me 1st in a part of their life and not expect me to take back seat to an ex or make me feel second to kids, grandkids and everything else. I want meet and feel butterflies in my soul, so to speak. .
2006-06-27 20:00:40 · update #1
So why are you anxious to fall in love? Companionship is really superior to anything else around that age.
Why are you seeking a solid relationship now? You have to love yourself first. Make friends and keep your knees together on dates. Not all men just want a tumble. Some are actually seeking good companionship.
Good Luck!
2006-06-27 18:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of coarse you can but IF that happens is another story. You are right about the type of men that we have to choose from and at our age we, hopefully, are more selective. Do get to being desperate because there is more than one way to fall in love. You don't have to be lonely though, take a Yoga class or get involved in community projects, these are good places to find like minded individuals that have a little on the ball. If you still do not come up with that certain someone, at least you have filled your life with more meaningful ways to spend your time.
2006-06-27 20:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by lisa l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the only thing that comes to mind is a guy is too imature, for the task, therefore seek a man...who knows way to well how precious life really is because he has learnt that...hopefully not by the loss of someone dear to him, but...someone who knows and not afraid to feel! Yet, courageously, moves on with love and respect for life wholly and entirely living each day to the fullest, but not seeking gain off of someone else's income or fortune. Taking pride in taking care of his own business, finances etc...wanting to discover the world so to speak...with joy and free spirit. That's all I can think of, hopeful you find a fullfilling relationship, don't give up!
2006-06-27 18:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can fall in love... at any age, but don't fall for just anybody. You sound like you know a thing or two about men. Heck you practically answered your own question. You want a man who puts you first, isn't just in it for the sex, etc. You can spot an opportunist and someone who has a phobia about commitment. You hold out for the butterflies honey!
2006-07-03 06:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure! Of course! Why not?
You just haven't found the right one. The only way to know if someone really loves you is to give it time and get to know them, just like when you were younger.
I understand what you're saying. I am 41, and have had my share of disappointment. The real problem is that you think time is running out, so you want to take a short-cut to getting into a relationship. Give your potential relationships as much time as you would if you were younger. If you become interested in someone, go on lots of dates before you get too involved. If he's not willing to give you a couple of months to get to know him, then he's definitely not that interested in you to begin with. Just take things slow. You deserve to be completely comfortable with someone before you commit. Just don't think of any man as your last chance.
If you think a man wants to live off of you, then don't put that out there. Don't date men who are financially unstable. Don't have sex without a commitment. Having your ducks lined up is a real plus for any man who does get involved with you, but you should only date men who also have their ducks lined up. That way you are getting as good as you give. No one wants to take on someone else's problems. Find a man without an ex-wife to support and no children to support. Keep looking and don't settle for someone you consider a loser.
2006-06-27 18:25:58 · answer #5 · answered by percolated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unlikely. I am male, but very jaded, having had my heart broken into so many pieces so many times...oh, never mind!
These days, sadly, I just want to be left alone to wallow in my misery. I find the company of machines much more dependable than any person I can think of.
Sad, but true. Then again, my father just got re-married at the age of 77, for love and nothing else, and seems happy. Go figure.
2006-06-27 18:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by fresh2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of COURSE people can fall in love at ANY age! And I'm not just being a romantic. My cousin went through a horrible divorce and then met a neat guy and got married when she was in her 60s!!
I suggest you check out www.eharmoney.com. It's not just a run-of-the-mill dating service. They match you up with people according to an extensive compatibility profile. It's the only site I would ever recommend. Good luck!
2006-07-01 08:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by freedomnow1950 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sincere Seeker....don't give up hope ! Love knows no bounds when it happens. If you would, let me try to me a catalyst to your question by asking you to check out the DVD movie "Ladies In Lavender," (starring Dame Judith Dench and Maggie Smith). It speaks of the deep longingness in all of us ''to be loved special,'' no matter what our age might be. Love happens best if you and your potential partner are about on the same level of evolution-in-consciousness. I sometimes believe that wr really don't know how to truly love until we are 47 years old or older. Then love is richer, more secure, and based on maturity and respect. Know there is someone out there for you! When you no longer need them to be complete within yourself , even though you might prefer to be in love, but could live without one if you had to...then bingo ! there they are !-- when and where you least expect them. May you find the true joy in giving and receiving love. In Goodwill, kunndunn@Yahoo.com
2006-07-04 07:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by kunndunn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so serious? Go out to have fun. Enjoy your freedom now that the kids are grown. Do everything that you always wanted to do for yourself. What's wrong with just meeting a man that your enjoy being with and thats just enough at this age? love is possible at any age. So take your time and enjoy your the new found freedom......
2006-06-28 13:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by Bazinga 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is why you cant find a man...You are looking at every man with all this crap you have in your mind.......You need to let all that **** just go away ..You want to find a man you need to change the way you look at them..........Nobody is perfect . Just because they have exes and children doesn't mean they are a bad person ..it could have been his ex that broke up the marriage.
my husband has been married 9 times i am the tenth and by no means is he a "leftover" we are both 56 yrs old . he has had wives who are bitches and still are...So it isn't always the guy!!
You need to look at them in a whole new light, or you will never find happiness and that is a sad thought................
2006-06-28 05:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋