I met a guy who is younger than myself three weeks ago , we have a lot in common and we have had some good times togeather . He says he cares about me and enjoys being with me , But he doesn't like to cuddle or have me hold him when we are in bed togeather . If I want to hold his hand or kiss him I always have to reach for his hand or kiss him he never goes after me in anyway . We have had sex only once , he hasn't wanted to do it again . I just don't know what to think , He says he has feelings for me but I can't understan why he doesn't act on them . Give me your thoughts .
2006-06-27 17:51:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He is 29 and I am 39 , he likes older men and has always been with older men .
2006-06-27 17:58:21 · update #1
What other information do you need ?
2006-06-27 17:59:18 · update #2
Dude be serious , I am not a child molester , the first time we had sex he almost raped me . It was hot . He is no child and can speek his own mind and I have been nothing but patient .
2006-06-27 18:01:52 · update #3
He may not be comfortable expressing his romantic side with you because he is unsure of how you will see him. He may want to be seen as masculine and may see showing tenderness as feminine. This is why I don't get into the gender bending stuff. He may be confused that real men don't want to kiss and he sees you as his woman so he is not going to initiate anything tender. Or maybe he is used to not having to initiate anything. If he has only been with guys much older they may have done everything to him so he didn't have to make a move on his own. If he enjoys the sex then he will eventually learn that you require some heating up on his part and you need to give him positive reinforcement. When he does even the smallest nice thing for you praise him as though it where a grand romantic gesture. As he realizes how much that turns you on he will gradually expound on that.
One other thing that might just might help. Talk to him. Tell him you want him to take the lead every once in a while tell him you need him to take your hand on occasion and sometimes you would like him to just reach out and grab you, pull you close and kiss you. It may be awkward at first but if he gets enough reward for his efforts then he will continue with gusto.
2006-06-28 01:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he's not comfortable with physical contact...you should find out why. Have you asked him why he doesn't reach out to you? Some people just aren't motivated by a sexual drive, and really don't feel the need to constantly be sexual...maybe your guy is really conservative when it comes to things like this.
Talk to him though. Ask him why he doesn't do the things you mentioned here. If he makes it difficult to actually talk about this, sit him down and tell him that this is something you need to talk about, and that it is important for your relationship. That's the only way you're going to get any answers.
2006-06-27 18:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Alex D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he may be questioning himself. I know I did the same thing before. Do I really want this, omg what have I just did. I also get nervous if i hold there hand or kiss them is it ok or am I doing wrong. For me I think it was society's image that it is wrong that makes me feel like this once in a while. I am getting better now, it is almost like camera shyness, lol
2006-06-27 19:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by native_guy_2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that by his actions (if he knews he is gay)
He is "JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" no pun intended. Or worse, he is not capable in making
an INTIMATE CONNECTION and I don't mean sex. People alway confuse sex with intimacy.
There is a BIGGGGGGG difference.
Don't waist your time if you see that he is just not that into you. When a Gay man really wants
another man and he wants that man (if the chemistry is there) then he will go for it, you will not always have to be the one to initiate it.
REMEMBER True Love is Reciprical.
2006-06-27 18:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by fal`lus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you didn't give enough info to know the situation, but from what you said it sounds like the other guy just had sex for experimentation and that he likes you platonicly. Maybe you should ask him that question directly if "do you like me platonicly or sexually?"
Otherwise I would assume that you can expect only a friendship, and pushing it would probably stress the relationship.
2006-06-27 17:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by magebox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i can see a bit of your boyfriend's side. he might not be use to cuddling and kissing and other physical closeness for one reason or another. thus, it has become so alien to him. or it could be that he has been physically abused and some of the scars are still a little fresh to him. i can't suggest a cure for it. to get that, i suggest going to some shrink. just don't force him into anything unless it's absolutely necessary. if you do, then he might grow farther away from you.
2006-06-27 18:06:13 · answer #6 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not a gay man but bare with me. How much older? Are you settling down? Or he might just not be the cuddling type. Quite a few guys aren't. Gay or straight
2006-06-27 17:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by korngoddess1027 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be best to drop him as a boyfriend but to keep him as a friend. My boyfriend has a best friend with whom he had sex once when they first met, but never again. It is common for gay men to enjoy close friendships with other gay men without any sex between them. This was played out in 'Queer as Folk'.
2006-06-27 18:45:19 · answer #8 · answered by Marakey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much Younger then you.......and are you asking him to answer all your "LOVE" questions with a yes or no answer?? Meaning..if you ask him a question like.."Do you love me"..and he answers yes..maybe its because hes afraid of you..or doesnt want to hurt your feeling? Did you coerce him into sex that one time..or did he initiate everything??
Are you bullying him and dont know it?? Are you forcing all this one him all at once because YOU want something from him he doesnt want to give to you??
and lastly..are you a pedophile??
he sounds as tho hes afraid of you...and maybe of himself...maybe hes just too young for you..MOVE ON!! NOW!
2006-06-27 17:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by G-Bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. The majority of homosexual guys do not desire intercourse with immediately guys since they are watching for the equal factor in a sexual courting that immediately folks appear for - the affection and affection of a loyal associate. Since they are probably not to get that from immediately guys, immediately men could now not be fascinating to homosexual guys.
2016-08-31 09:40:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋