I previously posted this question:
Should i Come out to my best friend who i am also attracted to?
Yeah im pretty much in the biggest crap hole i can think of... im not exactly sure im 100% gay, maybe bisexual. Another thing that complicates this is that i currently have a girlfriend.... we've been together for over 2 years and i really don't know what to do.. But every time im with my friend i tend to completely forget about her.. i feel horrible and definately need some advice.. thanks everyone
I recieved various answers that all still leave me utterly confused.
So today we went out to SF with some friends, and this is completely bothering me i don't want to lose our friendship but every day i don't tell him it makes me want him that much more.... i really need help. Please somone help me through this.
2006-06-27 17:49:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you come out, it should be about you, not your friend. You could mention to your friend that you might be gay, but dont be trying to 'convert' him. You are either born gay or you are born straight.
2006-06-27 17:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you could say something like, "what do you think about >insert gay reference such as Brokeback, etc.<" that might be construed as testing his masculinity. Instead, you might want to tell him someday, "sometimes I'm not sure I'm 100% straight." (you might want to research the Kinsey scale) His reaction to a statement like that will tell you how comfortable he is with the topic. If he's a good friend, he won't be so disgusted as to drop you as a friend or otherwise make your life hell. As for acting on your attraction, don't until you've had the above conversation and have a heart to heart about it (or whatever the male equivalent is. sorry, wouldn't know) Be very cautious in your consideration of coming out to your girlfriend. Girls tend to gab about their BFs, especially when they feel hurt by them.
2006-06-27 21:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by lucy_ritter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, you should be honest with both people. You lying to them about who you are is not only hurting you, but will hurt them also when they find out from someone else. They will think that you didn't trust them enough to tell them the truth, and when you do tell them, and they want nothing to do with you afterwards, then they never really cared about you in the first place.
2006-06-27 22:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by Prince W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, I think you are kinda confused. I htink you should get to know yourself more. If you think this guy is not into you too, then stop liking him. Any guy will get upset, trust me. Just put yourself in his position, and see how it would feel. Kinda akward right. I think youll just hurt yourself. I think you should find someone else if you go to gay clubs or something. In there, you could atleast like anyone you see. Hang out with your guy friend that are less attractive to you. Its just not fair for him and your gf.
2006-06-27 18:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This same thing happened to me except for I was sure that I was gay. If you become sure that you are gay, you should tell your friend first and see how he reacts. After you tell him you should talk to him about it. After that you should tell your girlfriend and ask her if you all could seperate. She should understand. I was attracted to my friend and I came out to him, but I never told him that I liked him because he was straight. I was afraid that he would not want to be my friend if i told him how I felt. I just told him that I was gay and he was very understanding.
2006-06-28 07:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by dannyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take one step at a time. tell him that you're bi first. later on, if he isn't bothered with you're bisexuality, either hint around that you're attracted to him or just tell him. as for your girlfriend, I'd tell her too. if she doesn't get told by you (and soon), she'll at least consider ending the relationship due to a lack of trust. i hope that this is enough, because it's all i can say. sorry. <:I
2006-06-27 17:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STILL TO THIS DAY I HAVE NOT TOLD MY BEST FRIEND THAT I LOVE HIM AND I WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON BECAUSE OUR FRIENDSHIP MEANT MORE TO ME THAN ME TELLING HIM THAT I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM. HE KNOWS I AM BI, AND HE HAS EVEN JOKED ABOUT US HOOKING UP IN A PLAYFUL WAY BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW THAT I WOULD LEAVE THE GUY THAT I AM WITH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM. IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM AND DON'T WONT TO HURT HIM OR LOSE HIM DON'T TELL HIM. I AM AFRAID IF I TELL BRANDON I WANT HIM INSTEAD OF HAYDEN I WILL LOSE HIM FOREVER.
2006-06-28 19:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by roverboy4life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest u should talk to ur girl about this.. coz if u think she does not make you happy ... u are leading her on and probably taking her en route a major heart break..
ur sexual preferences dont matter in that case... if u care about the relationship u have with ur guy friend find out his idea's on his sexuality and then dcide if u want to break ur feelings for him. if he is straight i suggest u work on getting over him and take ur time to come out to him... u dont want to lose what u have with him... but all of this completely depends on how open u think are your best friend and girl friend.
2006-06-27 18:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by kadambari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is wholy your call in this. We men favor sex once accessible. like the first date. yet you comprehend your heart and your soul. Dont experience pressure to do something you may remorseful about. Wait yet another month or 2. It wont damage to attend. good success
2016-11-29 21:07:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋