Lies, lies, lies!?

Question

How come my best friend keeps lying to me about the stupidest things? Matt and I have been best friends for 4 years and he used to have a crush on 2 years ago. But why does he lie all the time even after I keep catching him in his lies and comfronting him about it nonstop? For instance he always says things to make himself look better than anybody else, like he can be a better boyfriend than my boyfriend and tells me that he took his girlfriend out to whole bunch of places and when I asked her about it she said that never happened. He also told me he bought an expensive gift to his mother and I asked her how she liked it and she didn't know what I was talking about Why does he keep doing this???

Answer 1

He is obviously trying to impress you or make it seem that he is an over generous person... He's on a bad path using the "lie" approach though... Too him it doesn't seem to be a problem... Just a way to blare out how wonderful he is... and little lies along the way don't seem to important to him... The best way to handle this type of person is head-on... Tell him to his face that you've talked with his girlfriend and Mother and that his words amount to a pack of lies... before he gets to answer you... hit him with the question "why do you feel a need to lie?" and why do you feel a need to lie to me???... Let him fester in his own thoughts for a moment... then ask him "are you going to answer me with yet another lie???"... Then let him know he is killing your friendship with his perpetual lying... and you don't appreciate it a bit... and consider anything he says questionable... Keep the pressure on him about the lies until you see it starting to aggravate him... and DON'T allow the subject to be changed until you get a satisfactory answer...

Answer 2

There are several reasons he is doing this. First and foremost is that he isn't over you. He also has a problem with his own self esteem. He has no respect for you or the other girl, and lastly, he has a control issue. The worst thing is that this is a form of control, and he really does have control over you by his actions. Don't believe me? Why are you here asking for help and advise, because he controls you, and you are not sure what to do. Please keep away from him, as he may at some point turn to worse behavior, and violence could also come into play.

Answer 3

He is in competition with your boyfriend it sounds like. He wants you to think that he is just as good. Has his girlfriend talked to him about it? Let him know if he wants to continue this way then your friendship might come to an end. But try to set him down alone and have him explain why he is lying, what is his motive and let him know you don't think less of him for not doing the things your boyfriend does. Love is not a competition.

Answer 4

I had a friend like that!! If he's anything like him he still really wants you,...BAD!! He's basically becoming desperate to be your boyfriend by trying to impress you. My friend got so obsessed that one night I went as his date to a wedding and at the end of the night he was crying and begging me to love him! he was drunk but i could tell he was definately hurting. to help him move on I slowly put myself at a distance to him and basically just stop being in contact. I wanted him to move on and find someone else he could love. I've been there before and i didn't want him to feel the way I did. Hope my little story helped.

Answer 5

he has a compulsive lying disorder which alot of people have and yes they dont stop lying they even tell them selves lie usually more common though in females but sorry to hear i had a girl friend the same the best thing i did was stay away from her

Answer 6

Well i think he still has the hots for you and i think that he still has a crush on you. If he got his g/f after you got you b/f then he is definitly jelous. Maybe he is just trying to show you what he can do if yall get together. Just give him a chance and you will find the real meaning

Answer 7

I think your friend is jealous of you. Peoples friends lie all the time. One of my ex friends lied to me about everything and it ended our friendship. It is in the human nature to lie, we are jealous and wish we could have what we could not. He might still like you....! Another friend just makes excuses or sort of I don't know shrugs the answers away but I don't mind because her lies aren't major. Learn to live or live without him.

Answer 8

He's trying to impress you because he has never gotten over you. He doesn't know how to do that in reality, so he has to lie to make himself look better to you and to himself. Confront him about it again and tell him that friends don't lie to each other.

Answer 9

True friends don not lie to each other. Why do you put up with it?
It kind of sounds like he is wanting to go out with you instead.
But if you already know that he lies, it would not be wise to do so.

To quote Homer J. Simpson: "It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen"

Answer 10

he's trying to impress you.

(or at the least he's trying to make conversation about something with you, or test stuff out, like a sounding-board-kinda-thing)

tell him you are proud of his (REAL) accomplishments, and that you respect him for who he is without him having to tell you all that stuff. also, that all the junk he's saying is making you respect him less because you feel that he's trying to deceive you.

tell him that if he wants to tell you silly stuff he should at least warn you that its silly stuff.... or if he want to know if xyz is a good idea or if so-and-so would like xyz, ask directly without pretending its been done.

try it in a casual tone, and in a non-confrontal situation so he doesn't get defensive and mad.

and hey, some people do like make-believe and never-never-land.