I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. She just broke up w/ me.Should I ask her to marry me?

Question

I'm in love with my girlfriend. She is Korean. I am Chinese American. We met when she came here as a foreign exchange student. We had 6 perfect months together and then we did long distance for more than 1.5 years. We've gotten together about 3 times. I went to Korea once, then she came back here once and then we met up in Hong Kong once. Now all of a sudden she called and said she wants to be free and has lost motivation to come to new york and that it is too much sacrifice for her to drop everything and come to new york and she isn't sure if she wants to marry me now. Before we were both so in love that marriage was the obvious choice and our plan was to get married in 2 years. We are both 26 now. I am confused since everything was fine, even perfect before even though we were 10,000+ miles apart. We've stayed in our honey moon phase for more than a year. So now I found myself buying a ticket to Korea. What should I say? Should I ask her to marry me? What if she rejects me?

Answer 1

Yes! it sounds to me like you two are definatly in love. and if she didn't give you a good enough reason, like "i met someone else or i want to explore my options" then i think she still loves you, it is just too painful for her to be apart for so long. so i think you need to talk to her. dont just go over there and pop the question right away. but talk to her, make her fall in love with you again and then tell her you need her and that you two need to spend the rest of you lives together...then... "will you marry me?"

Answer 2

Distance makes hearts grow fonder. If your girlfriend truly cared about you, her love for you would grow proportionately with your love for her. As hard as that may sound, when she tells you that she is losing interest because of too much sacrifice, it may mean that she has met someone else; therefore, she is no longer interested in a long distance romantic relationship with you.

Another thing for you to consider would be the fact that she is a total stranger. Though you have known her for three years, the times you have spent with her were only vacations; honeymoons, like you put it. Indeed, she is not person that you're crazy about; I mean the real her.

Chances are though she is the most beautiful, inside and out, woman that anyone could ever meet in life. In that case, the advice would be for you and her, mutually, to make some sacrifice to share your lives, be it here in the state, or there in her state. If she is not intended to make any sacrifice for this relationship, then, maybe she is not worth holding onto.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships are soo hard,that's why they usually don't work. Ask yourself," Do we really have a future together?" or "were we just caught up in the emotions of love?" Being in love is wonderful, but being compatible and having the same goals in life are what make a relationship work. Maybe she realized the two of you were not headed in the same direction,if that's true,it's better to find that sooner rather than later. I know it's hard. I've been in your exact situation. I found someone right here,under my nose,we've been married for ten years and have 4 beautiful little girls together. Don't hold onto the idea of love and happiness. Use this break-up as an opportunity to look for love right where you are.

Answer 4

i was deeply in love with a guy and we had a short while together and it turned into a long distance thing and his attitude completley changed i thought the only way to make things right was to marry him (its a long story ) the short while we were married was the most miserable time of my life i dont know all the details but i would say marriage is not the answer if shes talking about being free shes not ready to settle and shes probably had a wandering eye

Answer 5

i think u should wait and give her sometime i understand that she doesnt want to leave everything behind so u should just continue to talk and keep n touch and if she really love u then she will want to make that choice but if u ask her now it would be like ur rushing her when she just said she didnt want to marry u so that would make her even mad but just tell her how much u care and let her know that u will always be there for her and when she is ready u will have that ring!! good luck

Answer 6

I know this must hurt. I hate when things get so good and then it just slips away and you have no idea why. The only advice I think anyone can give you is to follow your heart! If you want to marry her ask her, if you think you guys should have a little breather do that. Just do what you think is right, you're a smart guy, I think you'll figure it out. GOOD LUCK!!! and tell me how it goes! luv~carly

Answer 7

I agree that you fly to see her. But don't be too upset and angry. Follow your instinct . If she doesn't love you as before. Let her free and keep in touch with her as a good friend. Be a gentleman, then she will respect you more.You are still young and there are many chances to know girls. I am pretty sure you can find one much better than her.

Answer 8

dude if your in doubt don't do it. because if you really want a marriage to last she has to be your best friend as well as your lover. and it sounds like she isn't either one. Plus your very young why get married if you haven't lived out your life. get your career going buy a house and basically be financially strong enjoy life and I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy the fun of looking for the one. plus when young people get married they tend to have kids when their not financially ready to support yourselves much less a child.

Answer 9

i think if u love her let her go if she comes back she is yours if she doesnt it wasnt ment to be, she may have found somebody else and just didnt know how to tell u so she used a diffrent approach, i dont think u need to torment your self over someone that doesnt want u anymore, im sure there is someone for u right where u r and u havent found her yet, keep looking and keep ur head up

Answer 10

Honey she already has rejected you...give yourself some time to grieve and then move on...obviously if your world's apart there is no way for this to work. And she may have met somebody closer to her and decided that works better for her...now it's time for you to move on...someone special will come along for ou.