The topic of discussion isn't the issue. The approach is all that matters here. You need to find time when you can schedule an "appointment" to discuss your issues; no interruptions (kids, phone, work, dinner, etc). Set aside a block of time.
Then open the discussion (and remember that a discussion is just a civilized argument!) by saying that you have something you need to talk about, and you want his input on the matter.
Never use "You" phrases ("You make me mad when you do this") but rather use "I" phrases ("I get angry when this happens").
It will take some time, a LOT of patience, and probably a bit of practice, but using this technique will hopefully alleviate a lot of problems.
2006-06-27 15:53:30
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answer #1
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answered by Brutally Honest 7
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You might start by checking out this book from the library:
Nonviolent Communication : A Language of Compassion -- by Marshall B. Rosenberg
This should give you and your husband some serious tools to work with.
There is also the technique of using the "talking stick". Any object you can hold will do. The person who is holding the talking stick is able to speak, uninterrupted. When they are finished they hand the stick to the other person. The rule is that you can speak for yourself only... what you are feeling, without accusing or judging the the other.
2006-06-27 23:45:50
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answer #2
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answered by xawboo 2
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Validate your husbands opinion by saying,"I understand where your coming from."or"I see your point." Men like to feel supported and in control. He may feel threatened by your opposing opinion. Always begin on a positive note before you express a different view on a situation, and NEVER allow your temper to control how or when you express your thoughts or feelings.
2006-06-27 23:16:37
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answer #3
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answered by biblegirl73 2
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My husband and use email. It lets us explain everything we want to say and you can't tell if anyone is yelling. Plus it keeps us from saying something we don't mean.
2006-06-27 22:54:33
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answer #4
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answered by dkhae1 2
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If you can get him into a non-confrontational state (which I don't think is even possible)....
Just talk to him, no drama, no BS. Just tell him what's bugging you, what's in your heart and how it hurts you that he can't see or understand it.
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-06-27 22:53:47
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answer #5
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answered by gabriel_demus 4
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The chances are you can't. If your talking about something that will start an arugment, it will. If you throw flue on a flame it burns. Period.
2006-06-27 22:52:53
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answer #6
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answered by null_the_living_darkness 7
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write it down ...he may hate what you have to say but he will at least read it later and maybe absorb it a bit
avoid using "i want" ...and "you allways" as a start to a sentance
2006-06-27 22:56:45
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answer #7
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answered by Bearable 5
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Like...where is it that your coming from???
You mean about money??? Sex??? Schools for the kids???
Tell me more!
2006-06-27 22:50:15
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answer #8
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answered by werk2much2000 4
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Hit him with a frying pan first, then talk to him!
2006-06-27 22:49:49
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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depends on what is needed to talk about, if you can't talk then write a letter
2006-06-27 22:50:42
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answer #10
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answered by M M 3
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