Why do people hate exgays? www.exodus-international.org?

Question

I just think it is a little hypocritical to say it is wrong to be hate gays and yet they turn around and attack exgays with all their might.

What about you?

Why do people think you cannot change when thousands have already changed?

They gave their testimonies, you can read it anytime ya want.

Do you think they made it up? Or maybe someone paid them to do it?

And sure gays are hated but why do gay people themselves hate exgays? They act like they are all prosecuted and hated and yet they attack exgays and hate them.

Yes exgays do happen and all the time.

People can change period.

Im pretty sure all gays and failed exgays have a hight potential to be suicidal.

But does that mean those who want to change should stop?

They simply want to help those who want to change. What is wrong with that? Are they forced? Is a gun to their head?

Leave them be.

Answer 1

The suicide rate of ex gays is really really high, I guess we don't want people confusing our community to a point of suicide,

Besides, how do you KNOW they are ex gay? Maybe they just got better at hiding it. How do I know? Well I have been pursued by some of them. And considering, I find it hard to respect.

Answer 2

I don't think it's so much hatred as an affront, a perceived insult.
I'm going to use a racial comparison. No insult is intended.
Say a white man dresses up in brightly colored African robes and skull cap and starts quoting King. A black person (I'm guessing) is probably likely to think the white guy is making fun of him. If the white guy says, "oh, no, I'm embracing my African roots," the black guy might take affront to this because it challenges his pride in his own culture. Now, it's quite possible to have an epiphany by embracing a different culture. It's harder to get anyone to believe you.
Part of gay pride seems to be, "I've accepted I was born this way." When an exgay says, "look, if I can change, they can, too," it undermines part of the gay pride premise.

Answer 3

I can only speak for myself. Personally, I really don't like the way some people use the ex-gay movement for political ends. First of all, for me, my sexual orientation was not a choice. BUT, if it were, I happen to think that in America it's a choice I should be allowed to make. The source of orientation is moot. That having been said, I WILL say that I find the organizations themselves distasteful in that many of them give false hope to people who are in a very vulnerable place. Most of the ministries, once you actually get involved, will reveal that you cannot ever change your actual orientation; you can only change your behavior. This false hope I find VERY troubling. I have no problem with a group of people that want to say "If you think that this thing you're drawn to is immoral, there's people here to help you not do it", but the way they go about it is counterproductive.
I also find it troubling that there are no reliable statistics as to success rates. Something that survives being published in a peer reviewed journal.
The fact is, these programs DO increase the likelihood of suicide. I ask you: would the FDA allow a drug that advertises itself to do one thing, but only MAY or may not actually do something just short of that, which furthermore increases the likelihood of death? I feel like that's a no.

Answer 4

It is really unnerving but when someone who has mistakenly proclaimed that they are gay become involved in a heterosexual relationship, there is a certain amount of backlash from the gay community.

I've seen it happen TONS of times!

Usually the person becomes so liberated by gay sex, they feel they are gay. But chances are if they are not gay but bisexual, they will become involved in a heterosexual relationship at some point.

Then everyone feels rejected and betrayed: the so-called former gay because of the new relationship, and they gays that feel deceived.

The so-called ex gays were bisexuals to begin with. Gay people stay gay. Straight stays straight.

Love one another. Practice Tolerance.

Answer 5

I don;t think it's hate, i think it's just disbelief. My first thought when someone says exgays is... ok a bisexual person who chose to be with the opposite sex. Isnt that more likely than a person totally reversing there sexuality?

I would never attack anyone, if thats what made them happy i applaud them, but don;t tell me what YOU think I should be doing. Cause that can make ppl mad and act hateful.

Answer 6

what the heck is an exgay. i know lots of guys who got married cause they wanted kids and of course they cheated on their spouse because they needed something more in they're life. some are still married some are not. by you saying exgay is like drinking for sobriety. it doesnt happen.

Answer 7

You're right, it's a double standard. Tolerance is only for those that fit a politically correct template.
The good news is that there are those that find Jesus our liberator
I enjoy talking about Exodus on this Answers site

Answer 8

I think there is mistrust of "exgays" in the gay community. Partly it comes from the mindset, from both hetero- and homosexuals, who believe that "once gay, always gay." They don't believe it's possible. Personally, I have seen friends who have changed in their lives from gay to straight... and straight to gay, not bisexual in either case, just happened. So I do believe it's possible, but I don't think it comes as an act of will.

My opinion -- and I grant you, that's all it is -- is based on the many "exgay" men like Michael Steven Lumberger who declared that "Today with God's abundant grace and His miraculous power to heal, I walk totally free from the AIDS virus." He died in 2004. Soon after, his testimony was removed from the Exodus International website.

It is based on men like Steven Fales whose remarkable one-man play "Mormon Boy" tells his story of being an "exexgay" who was excommunicated from the Church of Latter Day Saints after "Reparative therapy" failed to change his sexual orientation.

It is based on con-men like Colin Cook, who founded Homosexuals Anonymous in Pennsylvania, supposedly modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous. He convinced Adventists to give him money to start his "exgay ministry," until stories surfaced of his ten minute hugs with his members, and rubbing his member against them. Then there were his nude massages and mutual masturbation meetings. When that monetary well ran dry, he moved on to Colorado and pulled the same stunt... and pulled new members.

Also because of the stories men like Wayne Besen reported of his four-year participation with "exgay" groups for the Human Rights Campaign. An attractive man, numerous others wanted to be his "prayer partner" at the Exodus 2001 annual conference, while homely men went wanting. He wrote of this in his book "Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth."

Most importantly, my opinion is based on the many men like John Paulk, once a Newsweek cover-boy for the "exgay" movement in an article that also featured his wife Anne, a self-described ex-lesbian, as well as the "face" of Exodus in many advertisements. He was seen and confronted in Mr. P's, one of the oldest gay bars in Washington, DC, sat at the bar, responded affirmatively when he was asked if he was gay, gave a fake last name, spoke with several people there, including one very privately, and was seen "drinking, laughing, and socializing." He later claimed he went in to use the bathroom, had no idea it was a gay bar, and wasn't there more than 20 minutes. Witnesses reported his visit lasted at least 40 minutes, and that he only became agitated and wanted to leave when he was photographed.

It is also based on seeing a local "exgay" emerging from a private booth at an Adult Store, followed by a friend of mine, who told me that the "exgay" had serviced him orally.

So, I have a pretty informed opinion.

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PS: I don't hate "exgays." Stop sending me messages.

Answer 9

I believe it is more than a "little hypocritical", it's downright incomprehensible! Either you love us or you hate us. Seems in my experience that the haters are the homophobes. Perhaps it just strikes too close of a cord in themselves.

Answer 10

IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE GAY, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EXGAY. i KNOW OF GAYS WHO TRIED TO BE STRAIGHT, BUT HAVE ALWAYS GONE BACK TO THEIR GAY LIFE STYLE.