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33 answers

do not tell him that you cheated. the guilt that you feel is your punishment for doing wrong. you will cause him an unbelievable amount of pain by trying to make yourself feel better.

end your relationship with him if you must, but do not not not tell him that you cheated ... you did the crime, swallow your guilt and go on

2006-06-27 14:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by canadian_beaver_77 4 · 2 0

It depends. Ask yourself this, will you EVER do it again? And will it make your situation any better if you tell/ don't tell. There are so many factors involved... are you married or dating (I'm assuming married if you categorized correctly)? How "far" did you go? In the Bible, it says just "thinking" about sex with another person other than your spouse is cheating...

If you are having relationship problems with your spouse (which you probably are if you cheated) this could be "the end" of your relationship, OR it could be a wake up call for you two to get some counseling. It's all in the delivery of the information.
Next, will this burn you up inside if you never tell him? Will it always be something that will bother you? Are you worried that he could find out someday? IF so, then tell him... but be aware that you could screw up you marriage with this information.

If you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'd never find out and you will never do it again with this other guy (or any other for that matter) then you can keep this to yourself. Just don't be stupid and tell other people about what you did.

If you keep it to yourself, and "hope he never finds out" then chances are, he may... and you could ruin everything.

My best suggestion is have a talk with your hubby... tell him things aren't going as well as they could be and you want to get some counseling. See if he's open or not... and if he's not, then go by yourself. A professional will be able to give you better advice than anyone here (myself included) because they will know more intimate detail of your life and can guide you and be there for you if you decide to tell him.

I don't envy you, you are in a hard situation, but you made a choice and have to live with it somehow... it's how you choose to deal with your actions that makes all the difference. I'm NOT being preachy or judgmental, I sincerely hope you get through this with your husband and end up with a strong and loving marriage.

2006-06-27 14:59:46 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpea73 3 · 0 0

First of all don't ever cheat again. Second, if your relationship is going good now and you have made a commitment to focus on your relationship, then I would not tell him.

At this point, telling him would just break everything up and may even cause him to leave you. If you didn't tell him when it happened then why tell him now.

Somethings are best left unsaid. Pray for forgiveness, pray that he never finds out and make sure you stop cheating. Look at this as a second chance to make to make your marriage work. Good Luck!

2006-06-27 19:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0 0

I would have to agree, I would tell him as soon as you can, being honest will hurt him...but in the long run...you do not want this coming back to haunt you in a few years.

But you also need to think about was this a one time thing...did you have a relationship with this other person...and can you totally cut him out of your life.

How you would feel if he had done this to you. Think about all of the different feelings you would be feeling, and know that he will be feeling the same way......and remember that it will take time to bring trust back into the relationship. Be willing to listen and except whatever he tells you, he will be very upset, hurt, and very angry.

After all the hurt and pain, comes the healing for both of you, and then you can start to rebuild. Remember it will be your responsibility to rebuild that trust, each and everyday.

2006-06-27 15:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by debbienws 3 · 0 0

When you say cheated, what exactly did you do? It might not be anything if it didn't mean anything to you. It depends on what happened to make you cheat. I would think about it before I tell him.

You must know him a little by now to know how he feels about you. You also know what kind of person he is and whether he can take the kind of problem you are trying to tell him. Figure it out before you do something you regret. GOOD LUCK!

2006-06-27 14:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by fran c 3 · 0 0

If it was small and insignificant, not going to happen again, and there's no way that he could find out if you didn't tell him, then save everyone the grief and keep it to yourself. It'll be hard, especially if you're used to sharing everything with him, but if it's a relationship that you want to save, you'd do best to keep it a secret from him.

2006-06-27 14:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0 0

well heres the thing, if you tell him he will never forgive you, and will never be able to trust you, even if he says he forgives you, he wont relaly. now if you dont tell him, it will be weighing on your consionse for the rest of your life, NOW if you dont tell him, and he finds out, its going to be worse for both of you because not only did he find out but he had to find out from an outside sourse and that makes it even worse than if you just told him yourself...so you kind of loose all the way around.

2006-07-04 13:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by addybme 4 · 0 0

Why in the world would you consider telling him. Are you trying to get rid of your own guilt at his expense?
Of course you don't tell him. Unless you want him to dump you, or even worse, hold it over your head and make your life miserable as he makes you pay the consequences.
Seriously, if you want to keep the relationship, don't ever tell him.

2006-06-27 15:00:31 · answer #8 · answered by MissCan'tBeWrong 3 · 0 0

I just asked my man and he said to keep that **** to yourself unless you wanna break up. He said the only way he will stay with you after confessing is two reasons, one he's a sucker, two, hes cheating on you.

2006-06-27 14:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by whos_tat_grl 2 · 0 0

no you don't. you blew it now you have to take it to your grave. telling him will only make you feel better and he'll feel worse. what you should be thinking about is why you cheated. decide if you want to be with him and then work hard on your relationship and remain faithful. if you don't wanna stay, make a clean break but don't toy with him or his feelings and don't confess.

2006-06-27 14:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by rainyday 4 · 0 0

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