i had just divorced my husband a few months ago and i kind of find it difficult for me to start something new with someone else. he was my highschool sweetheart and i never been with another man but him.when i just went on a date a few weeks ago i compared the guy to him? what should i do?
2006-06-27 13:27:15 · 15 answers · asked by tinkerbell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
there is no set time before you start dating again. The answer is within you. Date again when you feel ready, if your not ready then don't do it.
2006-06-27 13:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no set time. It's when you feel right. It could be next week. It could take several months if not longer. My ex of 15 yrs left me for someone else. Two months after the divorce I started dating thinking I was missing out since he had someone. But I wasn't ready. I needed more time to get over the hurt and resentment of what happened. Take time to heal your soul. There's nothing wrong with being around family and friends now as well as relearning about who you are as a person. You may find also that you feel good after a few months and then have a "relapse" of emotions. That's normal. Mourning the loss of the marriage goes forward and backward over a long period of time. I wish you all the best on your new journey.
2006-06-27 13:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by ShellRe' 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, take your time, don't rush into dating. You have to grieve the divorce, and this process takes time. Divorce is just like a death, you have to get over been alone. Wait at least six months to a year. You don't want to compare other men to your husband, if you do you are going to fail at all your relationships. You don't want a man on the rebound. Try being single for a while. Being single by choice is not all bad.
2006-06-27 13:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Cinnamin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start yesterday, and do NOT get involved with anyone for at least one year. Don't even think about doing anything but fun things with fun people...nothing serious, period. IF you just divorced your husband, I would think ANYONE would win the comparison...and that is not fair to you. Get your head on straight, your self esteem on track, and your ego well founded before venturing into the love game again. Your first outing wasn't so good. The next, if you use your head, will be.
2006-06-27 13:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on more dates, a bunch of dates.
After a while, you will stop comparing other men to him, then you
will have a chance of finding new love.
My experience in this area is that, if the woman is still comparing
other men to her last love, there is nowhere to go but down,
and not in the fun way.
2006-06-27 13:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by Crosscheck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it helps you feel better about yourself and your esteem... I say the sooner the better! However, you need to realize that until your emotionally ready to pursue a serious relationship... that it will only be a rebound. Also, it is better to be up-front about the recent break-up with whom you date so they know up-front where you stand emotionally. It is perfectly normal to measure him up... don't want to be lowering your standards, and you've only been with one other so you have noone else really to compare him with right?
2006-06-27 13:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to date. Don't compare outloud, that's rude to your date. Have fun, enjoy your evenings. If the man you are dating wants sex, tell him that you are not a whor* and do not pay for your dinner that way. I would abstain from sex, but not from dating. It will get easier, the wound heals if you care for area that was detatched.
2006-06-27 13:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out on dates with your friends to just have a good time. when you are ready you will know it and you will focus on your date and not compare him to your ex
2006-07-04 12:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by BarKim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, dont listen to the loser above me...
date when u are sure its going to be ok with YOU no one else...my gf of 7 years left me a month ago, i can not get myself to date yet, it takes time
2006-06-27 13:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by dave g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait three years, get two cats and gain 50 pound then hang your self
2006-06-27 13:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by ducks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋