My son is 14 yrs old I am worried about him having sex should i give him a condom?

Question

I am afarid if i give him a condom it is like saying its ok to have sex. But if i dont give him a condom and he has sex well then he is unprotected. I have talked to him about sex and the risk. I have noticed that older girls have been looking at him i am getting nervouse I am not sure what to do help....

Being a paramedic i know about teen pregnancy just the other day i transported a 13 yr old prenant teen. I have talked to my son about sex i guess i waited to late according to my pediatrician he said now you have to talk to then about sex at age 9 yrs i did not talk to my son until he was 13. He is really into girls now and the 15 and 16 yr old girls are looking at him thats what i am worried about. I really want him to be safe and i dont want him to have a child right now. But i sure dont know about giving him a condom....

Answer 1

Just purchase a box of condoms and leave them in the bathroom pantry. Let him know they are there is they need them. If you buy your son a helmet for his bike you are not saying its OK to bash his head on concrete, this is a health and safety issue simple as that. Let him know you are open to discussion and listen to his points of view without lecturing or cutting in. I myself insured not only the pill was available for my teen daughters but condoms as well. Young people are human and humans are sexual beings, it's normal and natural and the teen years have always been the period of most peoples 1st sexual encounter.

Answer 2

Ok, every individual is different. Your son may/may not take well to you handing him the supplies for the deed.

You've got religious people hanging out on this site who tries to give you the answers from the Bible and you've got some who are going to tell you it's wrong, politically and whatnot. Good help is always hard to find, pretty much, and it's all going to be based on personalities/religious backgrounds,etc. of others...in your case...it should be based on your son's.

Personally, you sound as if you do take the initiative to be a part of your son's life so you two must have some kind of good relationship between you. Just talk to him like a friend, give him some examples of bad situations (if any) you have been through and explain how things can immediately take a turn for the worst and how you can't be there to help that situation should it arrise. Kids don't want to feel left alone if they are close to their parents and they want to be happy at home. So maybe just talk together a while and let him ask questions and see if you can tell what his own thoughts on the matter is. If you are convinced he is going to become sexually active after speaking to him about this, you may want to take the route my father did when was younger and "in love". Find out by being open and honest with him who it is he is interested in, have the girl over and make everything seem nice and let them play video games or whatever and hang out, but NEVER leave them in a room alone or give them the opportunity to do anything. maintain a good relationship with her parents as well and let them know what's going on... they will probably not want their daughters getting pregnant at an early age and will most likely intervene as well. But you can make a bad situation a good one by being overly involved in his life at this point in time.

I don't, however, suggest handing him the proper material and hoping he makes the right choice. It's like handing a child a sugar cookie and hoping they won't eat it. It only makes things harder for them and for yourself.

Answer 3

Hey, I'm and 9 weeks pregnant not fun oops, my mans a paramedic as well, he wants me to abort and it's upsetting so yeah I get your worries. However don't give him a condom if he's been to school he knows about them and risks of sex. If parents give kids condoms their like ick and won't use them. If he's going to go out and have sex embarrasses him a little make sure he knows all the risks, and tell him if god forbid he knocks some little chica up, he's gonna have to be a man, and a lot of states require notifications of parents before abortions.

Answer 4

READ THE FOLLOWING BIBLE VERSE:

HEBREWS 13:4-"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

It's pretty simple. Having sex before marriage is not what God wants. Unless, you want to have a 14 yr old daughter-in-law, then don't give your son the condom. It would also be great to go to http://www.teenpregnancy.org It has info for you and there are videos for him to see, so he won't think about having sex.

Answer 5

Keep talking to him. They have commercials about preventing drug abuse/ smoking by continually talking to your kids about it. They should do the same thing about having sex before you're REALLY ready - and ready to take responsibility. But the liberals don't think talking to your kids about abstainance will help!
Keep talking, and keep him aware that you're there for him to talk to, as well.
I wouldn't give him the condom - it's like giving crack to someone who is considering using it - telling them not to use it, and walking away.
And tell him even though it seems like he's the only one NOT having sex, he really isn't. Guys talk big. Some guys DO even wait until they are married. It does still happen. I happen to be the mom of one of them. He and his friends went to a Christian school, and several of them have waited. No worry about STDs, unnwanted pregnancies.......
I now have the greatest daughter in law (who also waited) and the cutest grandson.

Answer 6

I don't have any boys but I do have 15 year old twin girls. I have the same worries. my opinion for you would be to do your best to talk to him about sex and the importance of a condom, no matter how embarrassed he is to be talking about it with you.
I think that there isn't enough parents talking to their teens and that's why we get them on here in Yahoo! Answers asking all kinds of "parent" questions.

Answer 7

YES!! if you have already talked to him about sex and why it is best to wait then give him the condom, GIVING HIM THE MEANS TO PROTECT HIMSELF IS NOT LIKELY TO EFFECT HIS DECISION TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE SEX BUT IT IS LIKELY TO AFFECT WEATHER OR NOT HE HAS SAFE SEX!!
60% of our 14 year olds are having sex, do you know how many of them are comfortable buying condoms? (if you think about how many girls wont buy there own pads and tampons at that age it will click)

you have already done what you can as a parent to help him make an informed decision the rest is up to him

Answer 8

IF you've had THE TALK with him, and you feel comfortable with it, them give them to him. Maybe just leave them in a dresser drawer or something, that way you'll both save some embarrassment I only say this if you've all ready talked about sex, std's, and pregnancy. I think its wish full thinking that he will go get condoms on his own, hell I was still embarrassed til I was in my 20's (lol)

Answer 9

You should give him the condom. If you don't he could get them on his own but it's better to make him feel like u understand him. He's 14 and will most likely be having sex anyways. When u ground n do things like that they will just rebell against you. You gatta aproach in a different way... with understandment. TRUST ME ON THIS!

Answer 10

do it... kids(not necessarily yours, but some) will have sex despite what you say... get him condoms and tell him it doesnt mean u want him to have sex, you just want to make sure he's safe if it comes up. there are a lot of things kids dont tell their parents and dont let sex be one of them. be very open with him on this subject and you may find that he will have no problem talking to you about it.