My son is three months old and his father and I are separated (his father's choice whilst I was pregnant). The father wants me to stop breast feeding so he can take him off to show him to his side of the family who all live far away. I let them all visit me at my house and I find it difficult to express milk. should I give in and stop breast feeding??
2006-06-27 12:35:46 · 23 answers · asked by egger 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yes I do love my son, that's why I'm scared that he'll grow up not knowing his father's family and blame me for it. I am always ok with them visiting us though
2006-06-27 12:40:32 · update #1
No! You do not have to let a child under 3 go overnight any where with the father or any one else. Why would you stop doing what is right and healthy for your child for a man who chose to abandon him and now wants to show him off as a treasure? Do you love your son?
2006-06-27 12:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by AMY L 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I know you have split from the child's father but I am supposing you and he are getting on. Is there any reason why you cannot go with him to meet his family. After all, you should also get to know them and let them know you are not the ogre your ex may have let them think you are!
It shows you are big-hearted and generous - and let you know what his side of the family are like. As you said, you want your son to know them. And if they are on your side, you can use them for things like holidays!
I am not saying that you should stay with his family (perhaps a B&B) - but it will also show his family that you are a caring mother. And it gives a good reason for staying with your son if you are unsure of how he will be with the baby.
Has your ex spent any length of time alone with your son? If he is going to have access then you must think about weaning your son slowly off the breast anyway (for example, giving him first and last feeds and bottles the rest of the time). However, you should discuss this with your midwife. Either that or you will have to learn how to express. Again, go to your midwife for advice.
Aside from anything else, how are you going to have a life before your son is on solids if you breast feed only - you cannot go out on your own, think about a job or anything like that. You will get very tired if you do not have a break from your son, so you also have to think about that. You cannot be a good mother if you are tired. How do I know the baby advice? I have had 2 children - and illnesses such as colds were murder. Have you thought how your son will feed if you cannot (for example, you have a fever or a tummy bug). My oldest son did not sleep until he was 3 and I would have gone absolutely crazy if my husband had not taken night duty occasionally - and my parents having him sometimes.
You have a difficult time ahead - emotionally and physically - good luck!
2006-06-27 15:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the father wants is not the issue here!
What your little baby needs is his mam!
You should not have to even think what's right in the above statements.
The little baby wins hands down, so look after his interests first and foremost, your husband is old enough and ugly enough to look after himself.
Keep breast feeding for the full duration of time. it will be a happy baby, because it was fed by way of mother nature.
If his family want to see the baby then let them get off their asses and journey to see the baby.
all in all look after the bab and follow your own best instincts.
2006-06-27 12:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stopping breast feeding is your decision, but, just so you know, don't do it cold turkey. do it slow, like subtract one feeding daily otherwise you will become engorged and it can be very painful. few tips for expressing breast milk ...relax as much as you can, it will help your let down process, use a warm towel or wash rag, and normally you can only pump out what your baby can eat anyhow, so don't feel like there is nothing there. don't worry about what that father wants. if he cared so much he would have stuck around ? just speaking from my own personal exp's. had a baby at 16 and nursed him till he was 9 months old. best thing i've ever done.
2006-06-27 12:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by dj be 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should breast-feed as long as possible. The longer, the better for the child, since there are nutritional elements, vitamins and other substances in mother's milk that are not present in formula milk. (I know mothers who breast-feed more than a year and have very healthy babies.)
Since you are the mother and the only one who can breast-feed your child, the father should have no influence on this and mind his own business. Tell him that you are making the child more healthy and resistent against allergies and diseases by giving him more mother's milk.
2006-06-27 12:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by Sean F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the "father" separated from you when you were pregnant, then he pretty much left all these decisions to YOU. The longer you nurse the better it is for your child. The time you can nurse will be gone soon enough and you'll never get it back. Enjoy your baby NOW before you find yourself fighting toe-to-toe with a teenager! :)
2006-06-27 12:44:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is thought of as normal to breastfeed for 6 months. I was in a similar situation but what I did was make sure my daughter would also take a bottle (she would take bottled milk from everyone other than me) and when she would do that then I let her dad take her to visit his family who were and still are always welcome at my home.
Its an awkward situation and congratulations for being so thoughtful as to allow them to visit in your house, I know what a nightmare it can be.
Good luck and congratulations on your child.
2006-06-27 20:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel breastfeeding should last as long as it works and is ocmfortable between mother an child. If expressing milk is difficult, I do not feel you should stop for the man to visit his family. If they have the opportunity to visit your son, you are being more than "fair".
2006-06-27 12:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by sweetpeapumpkinpie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've known women to breast feed until 6yrs old , not that it is the accepted norm in todays society, however the child may benefit from the natural immunity in the mothers milk, preventing several childhood sicknesses...
2006-06-27 12:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by jerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget what daddy says, he's showed his stripes by leaving you. I'm no expert, but six months to a year, seems about right. If you are still lactating, give him the breast milk.
Dad can wait, baby comes first.
2006-06-27 12:44:27 · answer #10 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋