i think my parentes might get divorced. I really don't want that to happen. My dad doesn't either. My mom isn't sure yet. I have made it clear i don't want that! what do i do!
2006-06-27 12:14:02 · 13 answers · asked by bmgb91 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
see if you can get them to marriage counseling asap! that might get them talking. if dad doesn't want it and mom's not sure - it's not too late. if you go to a church, maybe your minister can help them. good luck -- i hope it turns out ok.
2006-06-27 12:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by harmonycoach 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its understandable you don't want your parents to get divorced. Noone ever wants that. But here's the thing... Your mom must be unhappy with her life and wanting to make a change. Marriage counseling would probably be a good idea IF you could talk her into doing that with your dad B4 she actually files for the divorce. No matter what happens remember your parents both love you and only want whats best for you. You may not like their/her decision, but you have to accept what life brings you. Don't beat yourself up over it. You did NOTHING wrong!!!!! Don't panic just yet... there is still time if papers haven't been filed.
Good Luck!!!
2006-06-27 12:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by lucky1mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly the decision is not up to you. I am sure everyone realises how difficult this is for you but I know it is difficult for your Mom and Dad too. Remember that they love you very much and that their relationship has nothing to do with you and their problems are not your fault. As difficult as a divorce would be for you all think how difficult it would be for your parents staying in an unhappy marriage where there is no love or happiness. Staying married for the wrong reasons will only result in more pain for everyone. Be strong and support your parents decision and let them know you love them and are there for them no matter what they decide. Good Luck.
2006-06-27 12:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by buffybot67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard, especially at your age, and you will feel like it is your fault, somewhere along the line. just know, that no matter what happens, it could not have possibly been your fault, and that they will be happier apart. You will still see them, and I know you want them home, together, every night, but it won't happen if they get divorced.
A friend of mine's daughter asked her parents, after the divorce, if they ever loved each other, and they said they did. She asked what they used to do together to enjoy being together. Then she had them do those things again. 1 year later, she walked her mother down the aisle as the two remarried. They never wanted to be divorced, they just lost interest in those things they enjoyed together, and forgot how to love each other.
2006-06-27 12:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mark W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do unfortunately. This is really something your mom and dad need to figure out. Just remember none of this happening is your fault and its not your repsonsibility to try to keep them together. Even if they tried to stay together just for you, they may end up being miserable, fighting a lot, and divorcing down the road.
In the end they will do what they feel is best. It's probably a good idea to keep communicating your feelings about a divorce to them. Try not to get caught in the middle of their problems. My parents are divorced and thats the tough part.
Hang in there! This to shall pass.
2006-06-27 12:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jen11979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. My parents divorced for 5 yrs & then remarried but it was hard on all the kids. Try to stay out of it. You do not know why or what the real problem is. You let them know how you feel but remember you will leave & they will still be together. Do you want them to be unhappy? Good luck & may God bless you during this hard time. Try not to pick sides.They are older & know the problems that you do not know.
2006-06-27 12:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is the single most difficult thing in a child's life. You feel safe and secure in the house that you've always known. It is natural for you to not want them to get divorced. But as you will learn in time, being in love with someone and being able to live with someone are very different things.
Good parents will always make the decision that is best for the children. (And not all parents are good parents remember) But, they have to weigh the affect they have on you, in addition to the affect they have on each other. Sometimes, if that means that staying together will create a more "hostile" environment, then getting divorced is better for you. I am a Divorced single dad, and have custody of my daughter. I can safely say that our divorce was much better for my daughter than the life she was living with us combined. Sometimes it is better for adults to split up, because being able to give all their love and attention to the person that truly deserves it - YOU; is much better than spending all their energy in keeping a very uneasy truce going in a household. And walking on egg-shells is not a very good environment for happiness.
I encourage you to speak with your school's counselor. This can be a really good help for you, and they might be able to get you into a divorce support group for kids. These groups offer the chance for you to meet other kids in the same boat and to help you understand what the "deal" is with your parents. Talk to your parents about your feelings, your fears and your hopes for the future. Tell them what you want from each of them. They are going to make a decision that is best for everyone, so concentrate on what you expect from both your parents whether they decide to stay together or get divorced. Things like Love, a safe and secure house, knowing where you live, happiness, what you deserve from each of them, extracurricular activities, ability to see your friends, etc. This will let them know that you are being effected by what is going on, and will let them know that you have the maturity to have a discussion about this with them. It also may force them into truly examining themselves and what it is that makes them unable to compromise in their own relationship.
Sometimes it takes the honesty of a child to force adults back into reality. I know it shouldn't be that way - but as you're learning a little sooner than you should, sometimes life doesn't work out the way it's supposed to. Keep your head up, rely on your friends, talk to your parents and this difficult time is something that shall pass. Remember - despite what some may say, the glass is always half full, what will be will be, and the good moments in life will always come back around to show you why life is good.
2006-06-27 13:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by Blazefighter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing you can do is to tell your parents how you feel about them getting a divorce and let them know that you don't want it. Maybe they'll stay together for the sake of the kids, which is you. Good luck!
2006-06-27 12:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by sweet gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end that is up to the parents. It's good that you gave them your opinion though. I would seriously consider talking to a child psychologist to help you work through your feelings on this and how to cope.
2006-06-27 12:19:21 · answer #9 · answered by J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all three of u need to sit down and work on it, but thats mostly between ur mom and dad, sorry u are going through this, hope everything works out, good luck
2006-06-27 12:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋