I never had the chance to have a say so, her mother and family did it all behind my back and now shes going to be 18 next month and i want to find her...can anyone help
2006-06-27 11:52:53 · 5 answers · asked by craziekof 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is info for my son...hes trying to find her..please if anyone knows any info on how to go about finding her.thank you
2006-06-27 11:54:26 · update #1
Laws vary state by state. I'm adopted, from Massachusetts, and I checked on the website of the adoption agency; it said that they make a note in the file if the parent or child attempts to reach out. If that is the case in your state and she has contacted the adoption agency searching for you, they may have a record of it and be able to connect the two of you. Good luck. I'd like to seek out my birth mother at some point, too. It's the curiosity that eats away at you.
2006-06-27 11:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymouse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound harsh, and it is not a personal attack, but spoken from actual experience. Please do not look for her. She is 18, and to her, her parents are the people she lives with now (the people that raised her). She was raised by these people, and she was taught the beliefs and morals of that family. She is probably unaware for the most part of you as well as your son, and she could be devastated by hearing about you all. Also, she could be angry and she may hurt you and your son with words and actions. Bringing up the past, and reminding her or even telling her that you gave her up, will start a series of questions in her mind and one of them will be "what is wrong with me, and why didn't you love me???" I have been in this position, and was able to get beyond the feelings of resentment, but I will never forgive anyone who was a part of it. It took me 6 yrs of counseling due to the deep feelings of hatred that I harbored. Please don't look for your daughter, just be happy that she had the chance at life, and that you did what was best for her at the time, and be confident that you gave her the best shot at life by giving her up. Also, the reasons that you are looking for her are based on your own personal guilt, not so much for your son. Let go of the guilt it will make you feel better in the long run.
2006-06-27 12:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the agency that arranged the adoption. They may be able to facilitate contact.
I know one agency that was contacted by the adoptee. They told her to write a letter to her mom, send it to them. They'd contact her mom, and if her mom wanted renewed contact, she'd hear back.
Good luck
2006-06-27 11:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe You Should Talk To Lawyer.
2006-06-27 11:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO IDEA how could you put her in adoption !!!!!!!
2006-06-27 11:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Tennis Diva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋