The father of my girls is a recovering alcoholic who is really a sweet man but sometimes irresponsible ( ex:: he got upset because some body broke into his truck and he went on a 4 day binge-didn't know if he was dead -not the 1 time!) but he is a great dad and he is trying to do all he can not to lose me and to change. ( help around the house, make me coffee in the morning and give me his paycheck.). The other guy is someone I think about every day and love very much but I think I love him more than he loves me. He has money ( owns 2 properties and has a great job) and he wants to pay for a tummy tuck and breast implants but I am not sure of his motives. I feel that he thinks I would look "good on his arm" - I am pretty I've been told-Im 42, I have had 6 children (22 , 18, 14,9,3,18 mos.old) + I have the face and body of a 30 year old. The man I am with is faithful, handsome , a hard worker and affectionate but the other guy would be better from a financial viewpoint. Suggestions ??
2006-06-27 11:44:17 · 6 answers · asked by JENNIFER Y 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just a few details... I am not married to the guy I am with- I am divorced from the father of my 4 boys after 18 yrs. of marriage(they are teenagers and live with their dad). I have been with "L" for 4 years. ( Our 2 daughters are w/ us) He has pulled this sort of thing MANY TIMES before and I just feel like I need a little security at this time in my life! There is no words that can describe how hurt you feel when you can't depend on someone to be there when you need him most!!!
2006-06-27 12:13:42 · update #1
I understand what it is like to live with an alcoholic and it sucks. I don't know why I let it last as long as it did (5 years). He took off on a weekend too and I had no idea where he was, but to make matters worse my car was in the driveway but waiting for him to fix it and as for my motorcycle, he purposely took my key so I couldn't go anywheres (lived way out in the country on a dead-end road). He constantly made promises with the kids (we each had one) and broke them because he was drunk so I had to do the promised things with them by myself.
If he is indeed changing then give him another chance. You need to stop thinking about the other guy. Do not talk to him or see him for the next few months at least. See how it goes with your bf at home. You may have to take the kids and leave for awhile. But don't jump into anything new yet.
2006-07-06 10:00:59 · answer #1 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with the guy you know loves you
Your former sweetheart - lets just say there are probably very good reasons why he is 'former' rather than current. He will have invariably changed from the person you whistfully remember into someone you hardly know at all - even if he does appear to have the answer to your current problems. I could practically guarantee that if you went with him it would open a huge number of other problems in the place of the problems you currently have.
It sounds that your man is a good person with a problem in the alcohol area which is being acknowledged and may well be being addressed over time. Focus on his good points - including the fact that he knows you and loves you as you are and that he is loved by your children too.
In short 'better the devil you know' because the grass is always greener on the other side....until you get there. Let the past be the past - your present is well worth hanging in there for.
****** aside******
if you have the face and body of a 30yo then perhaps you need to give them back soon before they are missed???? sorry just couldnt resist however much i tried!
2006-06-27 18:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ur guy needs some help with his drinking and i don't mean getting him another beer. he needs to be responsible. with the other guy, you are being influenced by greed and other not so good traits. you made the kids with thier father, he is not yet dead. the kids need you both. if and when divorce is necessary, go for that. until then, you said i do.
2006-06-27 18:59:06 · answer #3 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither one is worth it. you don't need to compromise. start by getting out and meeting some new people so you can find someone who really lights you up. clearly neither one of these losers cares about you enough to love you just the way you are and treat you with the respect you deserve.
dump them both and move on with your life.
2006-07-06 17:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by Money Maven 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Choose the one you love the most and who you think will make you happy.
2006-06-27 18:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should take the jr. high sweet heart!!!!!!!?????
2006-06-27 18:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by hershey kiss 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋