My 11 month old daughter went away with her gradmother for 4 days. Ever since then she wont let me leave the room with out crying. What can i do to get her to stop doing this?? It has been about 3 weeks.
2006-06-27 11:38:52 · 10 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It certainly seems unlikely that it would be easier to teach a baby to understand an adult's perspective than to teach an adult to relate to the baby's perspective. If you can't understand what *she* is going through, what do you think are the chances that she would understand adult concepts?
When you left your daugter for several days, she instinctively thought you had died. She mourned for you (even if it didn't show on the outside). When you "magically" reappeared, she was confused--and probably *mad* at you, as well. And all this happened at a time when she barely understands your language and speaks it not at all! How would you feel if you were dropped in a foreign country where nobody speaks English, and led to believe that your family had died? And then, four months later (an estimate of the same *relative* length of time), you discovered that they were not only alive, but had known what you were going through and didn't do anything to help?
Three weeks isn't a long time to recover from a death. Let alone a death plus "reincarnation". Give her some time.
In the meantime, you need to comfort her. *Don't* leave her--even for a moment. You are a parent; nobody ever promised you privacy or time for yourself.
2006-06-27 21:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand an 11 month old having separation anxiety, but after 4 days ,and at Grandma's house, it shouldn't be this bad. What happened at Grandma's house that scared her so bad? Personally, I do not know how you could bring yourself to leave her for 4 days with her being so young. I wasn't away from my children for that long until my youngest was over 2 1/2 years old and that was for a funeral. For fun stuff I haven't left my children for more than 24 hours(I have a 7 year old and 4 year old identical twins).
Mainly, you really need to find out what happened at Grandma's house. Sounds like she(your daughter) didn't like it there.
2006-06-27 19:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by i_am_the_dida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's actually a normal developmental stage 1 year olds go through even when they haven't been away for 4 days. It will pass. It will drive you nuts in the meantime, but it will pass.
Keep living life as usual and don't be afraid to leave her with a sitter. She'll cry for a few moments and be fine. Then she'll see that you always come back.
2006-06-27 19:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the room for 10 seconds at a time, and then return, increase time intervulls ove a few days, or weeks if needed. Let her sleep in your room for a few days, than move her to the hall, then her room. Sing songs about how much you love her and wont leave her. Play peek-a-boo, remembering to make a big fuss every time you return from behind the blanket.
2006-06-27 18:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just not used to being away from mommy for any length of time. She is suffering from separation anxiety. My daughter was 3 when I returned to work and it really got to her. Up until that point she never sucked her thumb. She coninued to suck her thumb even after she started school. Just this past New Years she made a resolution to stop (and she stuck to it) she is now 7 and can't wait to get away from me. So it doesn't last. Soon your little one will realize that even when you do leave you will always come back.
2006-06-27 19:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by prmb1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could try making a game out of leaving and coming back. start with peekaboo, cover your face with a blanket and pull it away, each time wait a little longer before reappearing. then you could jump behind a door and reappear, each time waiting a little longer to come back just as long as you always come back. she will soon learn that you will be right back. or you could try distracting her with a toy, puzzle or book that she likes or hasn't seen for a while with her back to the door. it might take a while before she even realizes your gone.
2006-06-28 17:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by vebyllucs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Essentially you are going to have to leave for a little bit and come back. The repetetiveness of the returning will help her understand that you are coming back as well as talking to her.
2006-06-27 18:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like only time and patience will solve that. shes so little to understand anything right now. through time of you showing her that you will not leave her again she will soon grow out of the fear. just give her reassurance and time to over come the fear of not being with you at all times.
2006-06-27 18:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by If u were wondering, It's me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep reassuring her if you work then let her know that you will be back home and always come home right after work you will just need to reassure her.
2006-06-27 18:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by mommyof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD BE MORE CONSERND ABOUT WHAT HAPPEND TO HER THAT MAKES HER FELL THIS WAY...
LOOK ALL SHE NEED IS ATTENTION... GIVE HER CONFIDENCE... SHOW HER YOU DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER... TALK TO HER.. LIL BY LIL SHE WILL REGAIN HER CONFIDENCE.... GOOD LUCK.. BE PATIENT.. THAT S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ALL ABOUT...
2006-06-27 18:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋