A 2nd baby??

Question

Me and my husband have a 1yr old baby and we would both love to have another. Can anyone tell me if you think this is too soon? And would it be an ok age gap? thankyou.

Answer 1

The gap between my 2 is 22 months. To start with it is very hard work, starting at the end of pregnancy with the second one when your toddler is running around everywhere and you just want to lie down and sleep a lot.

When you have a newborn and a toddler it IS hard work. One good thing is that the eldest one should still be having naps so you have a chance to get a break every now and then, and if you are incredibly lucky, on the odd day they will have a sleep at the same time and you can get a sneaky rest during the day.

It has been very hard work and there have been some really difficult times, but when the second baby gets to about 18 months you will suddenly realise that this age gap is fantastic. They start to interact with each other and play and it suddenly becomes so much easier.

My children are nearly 4 and nearly 2 now and they get along really well. I think a small gap is great when you get older too - my sister and I are 2 years apart and we are best friends.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 2

My boyfriends mum had 14 children and the biggest gap she Left between was two years. Most of the time she got pregnant when the last child was 3 months old. (must of been mad!) If that's what you really want to do then go for it I'm sure you will both be brill parents to both the children, you just may be a little greyer!! If you child is now 1 she will almost be coming up to two when second baby is born, so the gap seems fine. the only thing i would be worried about is that your 1 year old at the time the baby is born will more than likely be going through the potty training bit and also is at the terrible two stage and also is at the age when you need to sit down and teach her things, alphabet, numbers etc. so if your husband works you may find this a bit hard to cope with, with looking after a two year old and a new baby. But as i said its up to you, you just have to way up the pros and cons. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.xx xx

Answer 3

If you and your husband feel ready to embark on another pregnancy then you should go for it. By the time your baby comes along, your existing child will be nearing 2 or just over depending on how long it takes you to conceive. There are many benefits of having children closer together in age, and of course some disadvantages too.... (no break from sleepless nights the main one!).

That said, I'm pregnant with my 2nd child and my son is 6 , which happens to be the same age gap between my brother and I.

From my own experience, I didn't have a lot in common with my brother when we were children, but we are very close now. In some ways it was great, because my brother and I were treated as individuals and to our different needs which was great, there was never a sense that either of us felt we had to share our parents with the other. However, at the time when I was a child I did feel like that it would be good to have a brother/sister similar in age to play with, but in retrospect.... I'm glad there was a big age gap.

Answer 4

I think now is an OK time to start trying, if you acknowledge that with two children, comes extra work. Consider these questions/statements though:

As you have a 1 year old baby, it may be hard to have two children, a newborn and a 22 month old still in diapers.

Also, do you feel as if you have had sufficent time with your first child, to concentrate on him/her and only him/her?

Are you financially and emotionally capable of caring for another child at the moment?

If you are unable to get pregnant right away, and it takes up to a year, your children will still be close in age.

Are you ready to handle sibling-jealousy when the new baby arrives home? How do you think you will deal and cope with that?

Is your home big enough to accomodate two children?

If you were to be placed on bed-rest whilst pregnant, would your child still get the best possible care?

Do you plan on returning to work in a few years? You won't have fallen out of the industry you were in, if you have your children close in age.

Do you feel as if your body has recovered from your first pregnancy and birth?

If you were to have a special-needs baby/child, how would this affect your already born child?

Answer 5

My first son was only 6 months old when I became pregnant with my second one. They're 16 months apart in age (27 months and 11 months). It was SO rough at first, but now that my soon-to-be one year old is starting to walk, past his newborn/colicky/fussy/whiny stage and can play with his brother, get his own toys, etc., it really paid off. It was incredibly difficult at first because I had this little 16 month old who had no friggin clue what was going on, and why this screaming person was now living with us, and why mommy couldn't play with him anymore (c-section for the second one) and why all of a sudden this little person seems to be number 1 around the house. It's all good now though. :D I'm really glad things worked out this way...get both of them out of the way when I'm younger(ish) LOL and it's done. I've always wondered about the people who have kids years apart. You haven't given a bottle, changed a diaper, strapped a kid into a car seat, lost sleep in ages, then you have to get back into the swing of things and start over, just when everything was going back to normal. I would think that would be harder then having them close together.

Answer 6

My son did not sleep through the night until he was 3! Despite that, my husband and I did discuss having another child. However, every time we thought seriously about it, he had to be taken to hospital with wheezing (which happened every time he had a tooth coming through!) That was a brilliant contraceptive!!

I was then told I was unlikely to fall pregnant again. However, my daughter was born when my son was 6.

I think that was a brilliant gap. Pregnancy makes you tired and I could tell my son that I was going for a lie down, and he was able to be on his own in the lounge watching TV for an hour or so.

Another bonus is that you forget what the oldest did at what age, so you do not compare them.

Funniest reason for a 6 year gap? One afternoon, after his sister had been crying for ages but had eventually gone to sleep, my son asking how to stop babies happening! We had a brilliant afternoon while she was asleep playing with comdots (his word!), putting them on bananas, blowing them up like balloons - and he tried to put one on himself (it did not fit!)! But at least he has no excuse when he is older!

They are now 13 and 7. They get on brilliantly and my son enjoys looking after his sister (who worships him!) when they go outside to play, or she watches him on the computer, or they do their music practice together. He also loves helping her with her homework and reading to her. This makes it sound as though I have abdicated all my parental responsibilites but I do these things most of the time, it's just that when he wants to, I let him - you do not look a gift horse in the mouth!!!

Of course they do fight, for example at breakfast time or bedtime - my daughter thinks they go to bed at the same time, but my son either comes downstairs or reads in bed! However, my mother says they are amateurs when it comes to arguing, compared to my sister and me, who fought like cat and dog constantly from the moment she was born until she turned about 20! I am 3 years older.

So there are positives and negatives for having a large gap between children. I am wondering wheher you really want a second child so quickly because you are asking the question. Perhaps you should ask your doctor if your body has yet recovered fully from the birth as I believe it may be too soon health-wise.

However, you can be given all the advice in the world both ways but it is your decision! Whatever it is, I am sure it will be the right one for you.

Good luck with your family!

Answer 7

My kids are 19 months apart. It is very hard at first, because you are so sleep deprived, but you have to supervise the first one, so you can't nap. I had a c-section which means no lifting for 6 weeks...this includes your first. You'll either have to send them to a relatives, put them in daycare, or hire help when your husband is not home. The first could be jealous, or they could be fine with a new sibling. My daughter loved her little brother, but took it to the extreme...like giving him food or toys that weren't appropriate, or trying to "hug" him (squeeze until his eyes pop!) We bought her a toddler bed and got her sleeping in it before the baby came, so that she didn't feel like we were giving him her crib. We also weaned her off bottles before the baby came, again because we were afraid of jealousy. There is the cost to consider, more diapers, more daycare...but at the same time, you aren't out of the routine yet. Now that they are 1 and almost 3, things are getting easier. The play well together (most of the time!) and we have a schedual that works for us. They amaze me each day as to how much they love and care for each other. Seriously consider all the angles before rushing into it, but as long as you are prepared and organzided, having them close together is great.

Answer 8

i have a 2yr old and a 5yr old, i think you should wait a while as firstly everybody told us how a baby would change our lives, yes she did, but when no 2 comes along well i cant describe it.. the washing trebles!! you cant get baby sitters that easily for two, you also by having them too close together i feel you miss out a little on watching your first child grow and develop as you are so busy tending to your newborn,
also i felt it was better to wait as my daughter understood that she was not to climb or lean or feed the baby sweets as she did have some understanding.
i suppose it's personal choice- but dont think oh 2 cant be much harder!!times it by 5!the closer they are in age as infants i think its harder work..good luck

Answer 9

Well i personally think that one year is alot of time. Unless you want your children to be 4 yrs. older than each of their younger siblings. Having a child is a joyous event and while your child is 1 have a baby quick because it might be joyous for you but not for your 3 or 4 year old, lots of jealousy may occur and one child will feel "unloved". If he or she is 1 jealousy may occur but it wont be as bad. So my advise is that you have another baby. Just do what makes you happy. Good luck!!!

Answer 10

it's a fine age gap. The kids will be about 2 years apart. My sister and I are 20 months apart. And my mother and aunt are the same as well.