Ok my bf's mom knew I was going to buy a cake she even insisted on me buying a bigger one than I was going to get she was supposed to make the food and me buy the cake , she made a huge double layer whip cream jello cake and made a big deal about it and cut it b4 the bday cake and made me serve mine with a butter knife she says this wasn't done on purpose or to hurt me I was offended and hurt bcuz she showed off her cake she claims it was just done to make her son happy and the more cake the better but I feel she did this to "show off" she says no ??? am I wrong for letting this hurt me ??
2006-06-27 11:13:57 · 25 answers · asked by ThE OnE aNd OnLy ..PEPSIGIRL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
One thing I've learned over the years is that it isn't always about the food. This was a competition between your boyfriend's mother and you, and she wasn't about to lose. She was angling for assurance from her son that she'll always be the number one cook in his life. Not that she'll ever admit this, but that's what happened. Watch a few episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond for examples, especially the one where Raymond's mother deliberately put a fake label on a spice jar so Raymond's wife would screw up her beloved meatball recipe.
You're not wrong to feel a little hurt about the manipulation, but try not to let it affect your relationship with your boyfriend too much. He may or may not see his mother's actions as clearly as you do. What you need to do is find something you do especially well (and she doesn't), then invite her over to 'help'. Getting put into an equally awkward social situation might give her a taste of her own medicine and let her know you're onto her tactics.
2006-06-27 11:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you can figure out how to NOT let things hurt you, please share. I always say feelings are not rational or justifiable, but just are and everyone is entitled to them. Her excuse does sound plausible - after all it was his big day and was all about making him happy, but I would be hurt too. Which cake did you use to light candles and sing to him? Maybe next time you throw the party or be more involved in the menu or surprise him with a special favorite of his. Mothers have a hard time letting go of their little boys, but at least you told her how it made you feel without alienating her right? I know it hurt, but try to move on there are lots of little dissapointments in life.
2006-06-27 11:21:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I know you're mad but I'm not understanding the question. She made a cake after you two decided you would make the cake? Let it go....it's just a cake and the birthday is over.
2006-06-27 11:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-15 08:23:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I would definitely say she's wrong. It's obvious to me. I take the meaning of your question was to ask whether she was wrong. The answer is yes. Then you ask whether you are wrong for letting this hurt you. The answer is no, it's not wrong, but if there are any ways you can prevent yourself from being hurt by stuff like this, it would be to your benefit. Since she is your boyfriend's mother, she will probably do this kind of thing to you again. Count on it, so that next time, when you see it coming, you might not get hurt.
2006-06-27 11:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by robertspraguejr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it is a tradition in their family that the mom makes the cake dont feel bad it the thought that counts
2006-06-27 11:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by lisathebestone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can see why this upset you, and i do some mothers feel a little threatened by there sons gf's, because they feel like there being replaced and taken for granted, but then again you are just the gf mabey she wanted to be the one that made her son happy on his big day because if you think about it it is kinda her big day to
2006-06-27 11:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah dont let it get to you, forget about it. At least you made a cake for your bf. looks like you shouldnt let it hurt you
2006-06-27 11:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong to feel hurt. maybe she just was offended that she couldnt make a cake for her son so she made one behind your back.
2006-06-27 11:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was a little insensitive, but she probably meant well. Most girls can only dream of having a mother-in-law (boyfriend's mother) who takes enough interest to do something for their birthday. However, you are never wrong for your feelings. If you are hurt, you are hurt. That's okay.
2006-06-27 11:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋