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Being a married man over 40 years old, I want to spice up my sex life. I say my sex life because my wife seems to have hit the wall. She is not interested in experimenting at all. No fantasy sharing, dressing sexy to get guys to drool. She justs wants straight sex once in awhile. My libido is usually in overdirve and I am thinking I need something more but I would never want to hurt her. Please any suggestions would be appreciated.

2006-06-27 10:56:11 · 13 answers · asked by letsbnoty 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

Try having foreplay. Most women need it more than men. Try hugging, kissing, rubbing back and legs, things like that. Women are not ready to rock and roll as fast as men.

2006-06-27 11:02:05 · answer #1 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0 0

Men need vision, women need audio. Tell her affectionate loving attentive things. Do stuff like call her in the middle of the day to say you were thinking of her. When you're talking stop and say you love her smile, remind her of an event where you two had a sexy intimate time. Just lay in bed and hold & kiss her. Do this for a week or two then when she's a bit more responsive ask her if she has any fantasies. Ask her if there's anything you can do to make having sex with you more fun. Maybe her dressing sexy to make other men excited is a turn on for you but not for her.

2006-06-27 11:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0 0

Romance her! My answer to almost everything is draw a bubble bath for the other person with candles and everything then wash them, towel them dry and massage lotion on them. Foreplay is a great idea and can start with flirting throughout the day, giving her a flower, leaving love notes, just letting her know you appreciate her and find her attractive. Sounds like she may be feeling not-to pretty. Did you buy her things to wear? Did you compliment her figure? Did you try taking her shopping? There are many different variations of straight sex. You do not have to get kinky. Spooning, reverse cowgirl, have her lay on the side of the bed and you standing or knealing, in the shower or tub, someplace other than the bed. Suggestive talk and flirting in bed. Tell her she taste soo good and you would love to try licking chocolate or some other treat off her body and would of course clean up the mess. Remind her how much you like to touch her in a certain place and how her reaction drives you wild.

2006-06-27 11:14:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0 0

Does she know how you feel? I know with a lot of middle-aged women, myself included, there's so much pressure from jobs, kids, housework, bills, etc that sex isn't real high on the priority list. (It's hard to get in the mood when you've been dealing with kids and/or a boss all day.) Arrange to do something romantic that lasts a whole evening and try to take her home to an empty house. Put on some sexy music, light a few candles, and see where things go from there.

2006-06-27 11:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by angelgolightly 2 · 0 0

It's my opinion that LIFE gets in the way of marriage. The day to day events of living together can really effect the way you act in a relationship. Do you currently treat your wife the same way you did when you were dating?? Isn't it strange that we are usually more civil and courteous to total strangers than to those we live with?? I am most turned on by my husband when he does the little things throughout the day that can help me, the household duties, no matter how small, just giving me a hug, treating me as a friend. I feel I can totally relax with him because he is my best friend, and with that comes the LUST!! Most women want to make love as opposed to having "sex". As someone said before, romance her as if she were your girlfriend and not your wife.

2006-06-27 11:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by Steve's gal 2 · 0 0

Maybe she is beginning to go through something mentally, maybe she is afraid to take that extra step. and get out of her comfort zone. maybe she is not a daring person. Just start being more freaky with her... just do it regardless. take charge. don't ask.

you shouldn't have to discuss what you want to do. in the bedroom, you should just do it.. and go with the flow. its called be spontaneous.

I feel your wife maybe, having some self esteem problems ..............maybe................

just express how you feel about her not dressing up anymore, or being more daring. but don't do this right before you are about to go into the bedroom or already there.

Just have a simple conversation, over dinner. or what ever... but make sure you get your point across to her. don't let it turn into a arguement. ok...

Make sure she knows you feel she is the most beatiful woman in the world.. and you have to show her also...

But you have to have some communication going on. so she understands how you feel. ok... good luck

2006-06-27 11:08:19 · answer #6 · answered by TeTe 3 · 0 0

Has it occurred to you she might be in menopause? Don't punish her for something she can't help. The two of you could talk to a doctor about this first, then you'll know what to do next. Romance is good, and foreplay is great. But the most important thing is communication and friendship. She will talk to you and tell you what she needs if she trusts you.

2006-06-27 11:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by DJ 6 · 0 0

Have you tried just surprising her when she comes home with a few toys and goodies on your bed and the mood set acompanied my a lovley dinner for 2?? maybe then she will loosen up a little.

Worth a shot

Good luck and God Bless

2006-06-27 11:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥Soon to Be Mrs.F♥♥ 6 · 0 0

Hola! Do you know the word ROMANCE? Try something different, not freaky or kinky, just simple plain romance. Maybe dinner, some outdoor sports, try a hobby she enjoys or maybe a HONEYMOON...you seem to love her since you dont want to hurt her so it's worth to try....good luck!

2006-06-27 11:08:05 · answer #9 · answered by majo1998 2 · 0 0

It's possible that your wife is pre-menopausal and her hormones are all out of whack. This will take time to overcome. Remember tho if all else fails - love and attention is what women need.

2006-06-27 11:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by Rain 1 · 0 0

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