my friend cheated on her boyfriend of a year (who is in the army) then she found out she was pregnant by the other man & had an abortion but still feels really guilty as she has not told her boyfriend. what would u do if you was in her position? coz she really loves him & i dont know how to advise her.
2006-06-27 10:51:47 · 31 answers · asked by canim 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
To be honest. If you are her friend don't advise her at all. I've never go involved in my friends relationships. What you can do is tell her follow her heart if she loves him then she needs to tell him the truth if he finds out he'll be more hurt and I've heard a saying that says 'if you love something set it free and if it comes back it was always yours and if doesn't hunt it down and kill it' (lol) but seriously tell her honesty is the key to any happy relationship and its a real sketchy situation because not only did she cheat but she got pregnant and had an abortion(which he will jump to conclusions that she was having unprotected sex and was careless with not only her life but his too and she ended a life that never had the chance to begin) I could not picture myself in her position but I've stop dating a guy because we weren't close to each other and started dating someone else got pregnant and had a baby. I was honest with my ex and he loves my baby like she was his. Be a true friend and just let her know you can't make decisions for her but you can just be that shoulder to cry and to lean on when she needs you.
2006-06-27 11:03:33 · answer #1 · answered by jbw1_1002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She SHOULD feel really lousy. That was a crummy thing to do. However, I've known people who thought they could cheat, and found afterward that they were riddled with guilt about it. If she's serious about her guy, then she's had punishment enough with the pregnancy and abortion. Hopefully she's learned her lesson and the next time she decides to find a playmate, she'll be single and available to do so. Should she tell him? For honesty's sake yes, but it may well end a relationship that otherwise might last a long time...other side of the coin though is if he finds out down the road, through her or other channels, what'll happen then?
2006-06-27 10:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really loved him maybe she shouldn't have done what she did. Why do you feel the need to advise her? did she consult you when she decided to cheat? when she decided to have an abortion?
I would be honest with her and tell her that you don't know what to advise her. She doesn't sound like a very loyal person and you could end up losing a friend because she took your advice.
2006-06-27 11:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the reason that marriages don't last in the military.My husband is in the Army and soon to be deployed to Afghanistan and that is the last thing on my mind because I have 2 kids here and I don't have time for that kind of stuff.There are ALOT of men getting divorce papers while in Iraq and Afghanistan.I think that your friend should have thought about it before she cheated but whats done is done.The soldiers have enough to worry about and cheating is one of the things they talk about all the time.Then you also have the soldiers that cheat while they are overseas.I think your friend should tell him because it will catch up to her in the long run if she don't and I'm sure when he first finds out it will be hard for him and then he can decide how he should take care of that situation.What happens if he wants to marry her?You don't want to start off in a marriage like that.If he really loves her he will want to work on things.
2006-06-27 11:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by dismalrelic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the type of person that can keep a secret and wont breathe a word of it to anyone, then advise her to keep quiet I think, is there a reason to rock the boat. (I know its not the most perfect moral way to handle this but will it help in any way to tell him, he may dump her).
If she feels guilty she must promise herself she won't cheat again, I would never cheat on someone I loved like that. It's a hard situation but sometimes I think life is tough enough without doing everything the hard way! Good luck!
2006-06-27 11:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by Sam k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth will set you free. All worms eat the tree from the inside
out. Realize that in the end all things come to the light, no matter how hard you try to hide them (sometimes sooner due to this) The problem with the whole world is everyone is afraid to take responsibility for their actions. Don't let him find the worms inside
first, if you want any chance at all say the truth.
2006-06-27 11:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by jose m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a big deal...she needs to tell him. The rest of her relationship with this guy will be based on one big lie. He deserves to know the truth and then decide for himself whether or not he wants to try make it work with her. If he sends her packing, she has to realise that he has every right to do that, but she can also take comfort in the fact that she was honest. I hope she learned some sort of lesson. A bit of late night fun is not worth throwing your life away for...and tell her to use protection in this day and age! What?...is she 12?
2006-06-27 10:59:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to keep her mouth shut and deal with her guilt. This is a story better left untold ever again. Honesty is NOT the best policy.
Delivering that news to the BF will only hurt and cause unnecessary pain. She would have done better not to tell you either.
2006-06-27 10:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep out of it, she needs to decide for herself what to do, though I would maybe have a word in her ear and tell her she needs to rethink her priorities and whether her boyfriend really means so much to her, after all she had an affair so she cant be that bothered about him
2006-06-27 10:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by lizarddd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i do not. human beings purely ensue to love one yet another and they could have purely as in all chance beloved somebody else with a similar features. this is what i imagine a minimum of... properly, no longer each individual is this manner, yet i'm certain maximum persons of the international is, and that makes it fake that soul acquaintances genuinely exists because we may all have one if there have been briefly, i do not remember on love.
2016-11-29 20:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by jacka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋