I live with my girlfriend and her two kids. The kids are very undisiplined and get out of control sometimes. There is a boy and a girl. My girlfriend asks my opinion of what to do. I express my opinions to her, but still does things as she usually does. Now, the last few times the girl has gotten out of control, she has slapped her in the face. The last time it happened the girl(8years old) told me that her face still hurt from the day before, after I gave her a hug and touched her face. Should I be worried?
2006-06-27 10:10:17 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No excuse for her behavior. Just because the lady has a lot on her plate right now, with 2 kids, an ex husband(big pain probably), a relationship, and all that goes along with being a woman. She needs to calm down, be a better Mother to the kids, and not slap them in the face. That is abuse, and she could get her kids taken away from her, if her ex found out about it, and wanted to pursue it. Talk to her, and find alternative means of punishment. Good Luck!
2006-06-27 10:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Under no circumstance is hitting a child on head acceptable.
Don't get me wrong I'm a firm believer in the occasional spanking.
On the butt cheeks only using a paddle, but then I have sons. The question is what type of out of control. Kids that age are active and loud. If its not malicious or destructive they are being children. It sounds like there is some passive aggressive going on where it grows until the GF blows up and acts inappropriately. The reality is you should not have an opinion on someone elses children. Where's the father? If he's any kind of dad he should deal with this. You may need to talk to him and get him involved. It may come down to their going to live with him. There is yet another issue here. You do not belong in that house. She is raising children ( not very well as it turns out) and she has her love bunny living with small children in the house. This is not the lifestyle kids need to learn. They will become attached and when you two are over they will lose yet another male figure. Do the children a favor. Move out or get married and raise them. If the dad is not around adopt them. You are in the middle of a potentially explosive situation. You cannot sit by and allow the physical abuse to continue. When you stop it you are interfering with her child rearing. This is a lose lose for you. Get out now.
2006-06-27 17:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry some people jump the gun on this matter. Yes, protect the child. I don't believe that a child should be hit in the face, either. But, a good one in the bum is ok. What was good for us, and we turned out fine, is good for ours.
You didn't tell us how long you and your lady have been together. If you are made to be the man of the house, then your rules need to be taken into consideration.. How do you feel about the kids getting hit? Work with her.
2006-06-27 17:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit your girlfriend down and let her know that it is never acceptable to put her hands on another human being in anger. That is punishment or disclipline, it's abuse. The two of you need to get together and discuss appropriate strategies for handling the unruly children in an effective manner, whether it be taking away cherished items, controlling the child's activities and allowances or not letting them have friends over, and then you need to be united so the children know there isn't an "easy" parent to go to.
With my son (even though he's 4), we have the 1-2-3 rule. If he's doing something he shouldn't be doing I'll start counting...1........2.....and if I get to 3, something is going to happen that he really isn't going to like. You need to figure out what's important to the child and let them know that the way for them to have that thing is to earn it through good behavior. They get it taken away if you get to 3.
It works on him, so far anyway, and I don't have to spank him like my dad spanked me.
Give it a try. It might work. If not, you can come up with something else.
2006-06-27 17:16:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, you should be worried about why the hell you moved in to such a situation. You only stand to lose pal there is no way you can maintain neutrality or even sanity there! A wise man would exit the scene before doing anything else!
2006-06-27 17:16:20 · answer #5 · answered by RunningUte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes!!! No matter what a child does they do not deserve to be hit in the face!!! 1 spank on the bunns would work just as well.but remember the children act the way they do because of issues that the parent have neglected in the past!!
2006-06-27 17:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your asking if you should be worried that she is abusing the kids ?? You live with her. If she was abusing the kids you would know. She is probably very frustrated and lashed out. You should talk to her about it. She obviously needs some help in controlling them and herself.
2006-06-27 17:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your gf is probably annoyed and she she can't take when kids are bad,but she shouldn't have to punch them. after all,they are kids and it's her fault they behave like that. so if she doesn't know what to do,you should help her. try to figure out the problem and make situation better somehow. it's gonna be hard but you must also tell your gf about all that. otherwise,you're stuck with two undisciplined kids until they move out
2006-06-27 17:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by Elina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, for her kids! That's child abuse! Report her NOW! Or you can wait & go to prison with her for allowing her to abuse her kids while you watched. That's called an accomplice.
2006-06-27 17:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by awnery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋