I have been married for 6 years and together for 9, have 2 wondefull kids. Lately we have been fighting a lot and everytime he is drunk. He also says hurtfull words that i can't forget, and always says he is leaving, but the next day it is like nothing happened?
I know i still love in some kind of way that may not be enough for me no more to stay together. But how to know if things can't be resolved or to just move on?
2006-06-27 09:51:47 · 23 answers · asked by djrod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You could try counseling.
Or- do what I did! Throw his A-- out. When anyone gets mean when they are drunk and the it's like nothing happened - the are major problems. If he won't go - RUN! If you are financial secure - wonderful. If not - do you have somewhere you can go? If not, check the battered woman's shelters. A woman worth her salt can and will take care of her children! Good Luck!
2006-06-27 09:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is coming to an end if either you and your spouse can not come to a reasonable agreement on thigns that affects both of your lifes on a daily basis.
It doesn't matter what kinda of arguement you guys have, words that are hurtful should not ever be exchange between two of you; since it leaves an everlasting scar in the marriage.
Is his drinking habit one of the problem that you're experiencing? Drinking excessively is one of the most popular problem that destroy lifes, let along marriage.
You should find a time to talk to him about issues that's surrounding your marriage, especially how things are in the past few month. Find a time when he's sober and sound, don't do anything while his drunk since you won't accomplish anything.
If he's unwilling to discuss anything with you reasonablely or if he just gets up and leave whenever you are getting to the source of the problem, then you know that he doesn't want to face any of the issues and its time to end it for good.
Any man that can not be accountable for his action and take the responsibility of family shouldn't be marry at all.
However, if he is willing to put in the effort to work out the issues then there is light at the end of the tunnel. As long as you guys can communicate well over your problems, there is hope that your marriage can be save.
2006-06-27 10:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are so many females who want to have others opinions to help them get through what may be the most difficult time of their life. The only thing is none of us can tell you what's better for you because this will be the pain and hardship that will last for a long time. You need to make sure you've done all you could, have a heart to heart talk about how you feel, put some spice in your bedroom, try to have quality time for the two of you to reinforce whatever feelings that are still in the marriage, counseling. If none of this works, then you've answered your own question. Take Care of you and your kids.
2006-06-27 10:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 14 years and it is no cake walk let me tell ya'! My husband used to drink excessively. We went through an awful lot and counseling and he stopped. This does not mean that periodically before quitting altogether he would sneak and drink.
If you can find a really good church and go for marital counseling. God honors marriage and the worse of worse marriages have made it because both parties were willing to fight for the marriage.
Lastly, be prepared to work hard. No one however should stay and be abused! Mentally, physically or verbally! Start saving money and if you don't have a job get one....as soon as possible.
I have had to put up with watching my husband flirt with other women, extra marital affairs and going to lunch with other women. I even tried paying him back which made things worse. Sit down and speak with him if he is sober and see wear he is with everything. BE prepared to deal with the truth!
2006-06-27 10:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by The Red Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might have a problem with drinking -especially if he's saying these hurtful things while drunk. Talk to him when he's sober and tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel. You both need to communicate and work things out. If he does have a problem with drinking it needs to be addressed and he needs to get help. You might also want to seriously consider getting into marriage counseling.
2006-06-27 09:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get help for his drinking before he hurts your kids. Plus, you don't need to have a man telling you aweful things, no matter how much you love him. But I really think its the drinking, because you said its like nothing happened the next morning.
2006-06-27 09:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Nate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the main thing your husband needs to consider is stopping drinking. I think you should mention that if you haven't. He seems to be a different person. It would be nice if he could stay away until he gets sober but then you would miss him. Wish you good luck with your relationship
2006-06-27 09:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fighting, drinking, threats... Still not sure if you should move on? Let me make it easy for you to decide - - "2 wonderful kids"
They won't stay wonderful for very long in a household in such a mess.
2006-06-27 09:58:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ryno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer in the little bells that go off in our heads about things - obviously you have these bells going off now - i think you should confront him with some form of therapy or a 12-step program...if he refuses to confront the behavior, leave!
2006-06-27 09:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by zoinks22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going thru. I'm there too. Its hard to go and upset your world. You can't live like that though. You need to e-mail me. I think we have alot in common and maybe we could help each other get away from these abusive relationships. Good luck.
2006-06-27 10:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋