why hearing parents treat their deaf kids different?

Question

like why beat them up becasue they don't understand? why they won't learn to sign lang? why do parents treat their hearing daughter nice and treat deaf son mean? I wonder about this alot. why parents not take their time to teach and learn how to find a commucation between parents and son or daughter????

I don't think anyone understand this i know different between spanking and get beat up with fist slap on your face stuff like that. I been though where mom kick me hit me and use any thing to beat me up with things objects. I get threat that if i told anyone get beat up or what my parents did they will put me foster home. that my point not the point about spanking stuff thatdifferent i am talking about kicking say i hate you becasue you deaf and i hate you wish you were born, I hate you becsue stupid made me look stupid. stuf flike that.... lucky anyone have parents really care about deaf child learn sign... they use me as their work slave aroudn the house. I can't see why why i have to hide my bruise from anyone notice. why I didn't say anything. I know what different between spanking and beat the crap out of you say full of hate!!!!! see my point here??? anyone???? for bapist guy... seem you not understand my question. need to stay with your bible...

Answer 1

Hi, I'm an Audiologist, and I have encountered families where the parents never learned to sign, and I wondered that same thing. I don't sign very well, even though I've had a few classes. I'm really not good with languages (spoken or signed) so it's hard for me to understand what someone is saying in any other language. Still - if my son had been born deaf, I'd have learned to sign no matter how hard it is.

As for the abuse - I agree with the others that you MUST report it; either to a school counselor, or your doctor, or the local Child Welfare office, or someone you can trust. When you were younger, you probably acted-out as a way to get attention from them. Now you are older, and you feel angry, hurt and rejected by them, so you probably are acting rebellious. They get physical with you because they want to control you, and they are probably frustrated by not being able to communicate with you (even though it's their own fault!).

Your parents obviously have issues (that we can only guess about) that made them not willing to be involved in your education or life. Do not take it personally. You may have a communication impairment, but they are the ones who are defective because they didn't nurture you.

Another resource might be a friend's parents. If your situation is as bad as you say, you will need a place to go once you've been removed from the dangerous environment. Maybe you could stay with them, or maybe there's a deaf family in your area that could take you in. There are many deaf groups on the web -- reach out to others and you will find help.

Whatever you do, do not take this personally. You did not choose your parents and you did not ask to be different from them. You are old enough now that you can separate your self-identity from your family. You choose your own actions and you control your reactions, and it is up to you to do what is necessary to become the man you know you are inside. Do not give up on yourself, live with dignity, and don't let anyone bring you down.

Answer 2

I think you are right, this is true. There is a big gap between hearing and deaf. I know a hearing girl with deaf parents and the father treated her very badly (they had wanted deaf children). The communication gap between hearing and deaf is very big. I think the deaf boy should pursue relationship with deaf adults through local deaf societies, bowling teams, etc. Become involved in the deaf community. I have read the research that hearing dads mostly do not learn sign language. Just try to forgive. It's impossible to understand. Find older deaf people who can be mentors to you.

Answer 3

Most parents would not treat any child that way. It doesn't matter who is hearing and who is deaf, no kid deserves to be abused. I hope you will tell someone about this. There is a hotline you could call, for information. The TTY number is 1-800-2-A-CHILD. Good luck!

Answer 4

Because their parents are not deaf. Kind of logical. But it is how people that are not in their condition deal with these kinds of obstacles. Such as that parents have to find different ways in communicating with their kids, although gestures prove to be effective, communication is vital for both the kids and the parents.

Answer 5

Report this abuse! There should be one differance More eye to eye contact The same love & care should be equal Q/ Can these parents sign?

Answer 6

i work with the American Socitey for Deaf CHildren. Contact them for resources and or summer camp 'enlightenment' events

Answer 7

well you could try and ask them couase thats not fair to you adn they should know that so i think you should talk to them about takeing a sighn langauge class or somethin

Answer 8

As much as I am a Baptist, I should acknowledge you the fact I am deaf also and wish to detail the answers to your questions. Some may be short, others may be long with explanations. Be aware that each deaf person experiences life differently.

I have never heard of a hearing parent beat up on their deaf kids. I am a deaf young man with hearing parents. Does that constitute they beat me up? No, it was more likely they disciplined me when I got rowdier in my teenage years. If a parent spanked their child and punished them for time out, is that child abuse? No. It's merely discipline. To discipline your child and have him/her grow up to be a great person, to be able to recognize salvation when the time comes. Child abuse comes from constant beating, touching, etc., etc. So, to word it, there's a difference between discipline and child abuse.

Problem with this world today is that no parent ever disciplines their child through punishment because the government's child services are too involved with our lives, that they recognize their children in the teenage years to have as much independence as the rest of us. When that happens, you already have a kid who may be well on the way to being rotten and undisciplined, devoid of any understanding between authority and rebellion, punishment and freedom, sin and purity, disrespect and respect, as you go on.

Moving onto the area of sign language, you will be surprised to learn that I am not fluent in sign language. I am more fluent in speaking English out of my mouth. Sure, I may have a voice that uses the throat to pronounce and complete a sentence. Many people nowadays who see me at work, elsewhere have either asked me a question or told me something. Most often, they tend to forget that I am deaf but some are as much surprised as the others with minimal knowledge. I am very good in lip-reading and can be very easily understandable by 99 percent of people here in the America.

Now, sign language is more an explicit way of isolating the deaf child from a community that he or she can mainstream into without much work or finances that breathe down on the parent's nest egg. My father, when I was 3, was terrified of what to do with me. It was either sign or speak. So he sent me to a school to speak and here I am, writing this to you in an intelligent manner and understanding what you are asking us.

Sign language equals isolation and the widening gap between a deaf child and the hearing world. So the deaf child would be more inclined to stay within the realm of the deaf world and never traverse upon the hearing world any more. I, for one, have been mainstreamed into the hearing world and have experienced both worlds. I prefer the hearing world because the majority of everyone are hearing. Just remember that there are closely knit deaf communities who do not trust the police, hearing people, because of their isolation, hence sign language.

If a deaf child learns to speak, it takes years and years to have the child perfect to a nearly identical sound of speech like the hearing person has, but with using their throat. The reason why I used my throat as the base for pronouncing words is not that it only sounded different but because I have not really learned how to speak with the nose like hearing people do.

If the deaf child ever learns how to speak, he is more fortunate and has more chances to introduce himself/herself into the hearing world. He/she may have more opportunity and more experiences that may be either excellent or terrible. I have had my fair share with terrible experiences as much as I do with good experiences. What's important is that I am fortunate to be able to communicate with the hearing world.

If parents are beating their child like they are a piece of trash, or mistreating them in resentment, it is most likely parents, regardless of disability or not, will not take the time to nurture the child to grow and learn. Remember, if a child has a disability and there would be finances that could choke his/her parents' nest egg, it is more important to have the parent realize that it is their ability to help the child grow and be the way he/she can be to communicate well both in the deaf world and the hearing world.

For me, my father and my mother expressed love and concern for me as I grew up. They communicated to me well, disciplined me whenever they could, but they also took great care in helping me improve my speech and to be more fortunate understanding of the hearing world. They spent finances that would've been insurmountable to poor parents in speech therapy, etc. But they never stopped hoping I would improve to one day I can have a normal day-to-day conversation with hearing people. It's not because they thought, "We need our son to be more like the hearing people." No. It was because they wanted me to be able to communicate and understand both the hearing and deaf world and to learn greatly from my experiences which I've had a hard time in my teen. When I hit 20's, I started to understand more from past experiences and became more receptive to understanding the world more.

So it is really the question that should be posed to parents of a deaf child: "Do you resent or love your child?" If the parents say they love the child but beat him/her, that's denial and resentment. If they say they loved their child, and helped him/her to the best of their ability to raise the child, that's tough love.

I have a loving father and mother and even though some would think discipline is child abuse, it helped me become a better person in the world. It also helped me be more understanding of others, but also to find salvation unto Christ Jesus.

I couldn't have asked for any more except this.

Answer 9

UMMMMMMMM I never heard of people doing that

Answer 10

shut up