What should I do without hurting her feelings?
2006-06-27 08:54:16 · 16 answers · asked by Myra A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
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First realize you can not change another person.
All you can do is change YOU...and how you react to that other person's behavior.
If she is all over you about different things, either learn to make fun of her attempts,
say No,
say I KNOW that already Mom, you raised me to be that smart
I WANT to DO THIS myself
Thanks for your good advice, but I'll be the one to decide, etc.
If you treat her with the same politeness and pithy answers (as above examples) that you would a well-meaning neighbor, and then dismiss the intrusion just for what it is, then you won't be stressed.
Get a grip on who you are, and stop acting like Mommy's child, and she will stop treating you like her child...rather she'll step back and give you more space.
Now days, I approach my adult son with, "Please allow me to say something without you thinking I'm intruding...consider doing this that way, or that this way, etc. AS AN OPTION for you to consider".
It is tactful, and yet hopefully helpful, then I stop thinking about it, and let him be the man he is supposed to be.
You Mom may not be that well adjusted yet; but you can, with just a bit of time, teach HER how to offer her suggestions, without becoming demanding or controlling in your life.
I wish you patience, and pride in that Mom has done such a good job on raising someone who is able to think for themselves.
stw
2006-06-27 09:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you live with her, move out on your own. Or, use an answering machine to screen your calls, and only call her once a week or so, and before you call, plan out the conversation. Only talk about things you feel safe talking to her about. If things are really, really bad, get a job in another state. And don't forget to take a yoga class and learn some relaxation techniques, like breathing exercises and meditation.
2006-06-27 16:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her , mom om 41 an your friving me nuts, because the longer you let her than she will never stop, try avoiding her an when she wants to no why, tell her if you dont change your ways im moving out of state watch mom change, i pray for your girl friend are wife they want have a change in hell. an it will only cause you problemns with your mate , time for mom to go, are you put your foot down an now , so what about her feelings, it can be done in a nice way, give mom the tough love , good luck
2006-06-27 15:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by cris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could do one of the following if you haven't done already
* move out
* stick her in a home
* drop her off at a friends house for a couple of days
* move to another country, state
* talk to her about being an overbearing parent
2006-06-27 15:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by Crackpot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom and my mom must be related.(maybe same mom,always wanted a sister).i have a look that i give my mom when she gets out of line. or i say thats a good way to not see me for a while.im teling ya they cannot help them selves,but as long as you let her she will never stop.mom was over here yesterday when i got home( normal not a big deal) and i got on yahoo questions and she actually told me how to answer the question,can you belive that . anyway i turn around and looked at her and said "youve got to be kidding ". she just laughed and even she couldn't believe she did it. she got the point after a while that she is not my dang boss anymore and its time to get ahold of herself. sometimes i have to remind her. crazy woman she is im telling ya . good luck. stand your ground she wont like it but dont give in and she will find her blissful place in your life(i hope) good luck sis!
2006-06-27 16:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by mojomuppet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom will be Mom no matter what age you've become, Your a women yourself....listen to Mom but you should be mature enough to make your own decision in life...whether your mom agrees or disagrees is her problem not yours...don't let it stress you out...nor concern yourself if feelings are hurt..its never to late for Mom to realize your all grown up now.
2006-06-27 16:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You 41 or 14, sounds like u need to grab your teddy bear and go
2006-06-27 16:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by THOMAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out if you live with her. Move to a different town. Stop answering the phone when she calls. Stop being around her and communicating with her. distance is the answer.
2006-06-27 15:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
??? You say you are 41? Take control of your life. Let her know that she is overstepping her boundaries politely.
2006-06-27 15:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Norm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great articles and expert advice on the subject there.
2006-06-28 13:50:09 · answer #10 · answered by marketingexpert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋