I really want to stop this, but don't know how?

Question

I have a mild form of Autism, and its hard for me to read faces and body language. WhenI ask my husband what's wrong he says "nonthing's wrong", wether i cannot read him or if he's simply lying I have a hard time and will often ask the same question again. My husband gets angry when I don't beleive him and ask the question again. What can I do? I want to beleive what he says and leave it at that, but I cannot stop asking because what i am getting from his face or body doesn't add up to me. What can I do, so I don't drive us both crazy?

Answer 1

Tell him to have compassion and be patient with you. If he really loves you he will understand!

Answer 2

I've recently been on the flip side where I was with a woman who was bipolar and always asked how I was and I in turn bugged her frequently, thinking she was upset with me. I'd find out what other people in your situation have experienced. I've included a link below to an Asperger's Syndrome forum. I know autism is different, but people present with similar symptoms. The other thing I'd do is think about if there is any actual reason why your mate would be keeping anything from you. If there is, then ask him about it.

Oh, before my last relationship, I would have said that your guy needs to chill out and be patient, but it is difficult when someone's just not getting you. At the same time, if you are clear about your need to know, he should be receptive and understanding. Many people don't come out and say things like, "This has been bothering me and I need to know if I'm misreading you. Please help me." etc. Many times people think saying something in passing like, "Well, I can't read you well, you know" is the same thing. It's not. If it's important to (and it should be important to him) then set 30 minutes where you talk about what's going on.

Take care.

Answer 3

Tell you husband that you're not trying to be difficult. If you ask a question and don't believe him, then there must be a reason for your suspicions so let him know why he's being questioned. After you two discuss this then maybe things will be OK. If he gets angry again, there may be a reason for your feeling the way you do.

Answer 4

Forms of autism are gifts from God and it's like an intuition
you know in your heart the truth but the answer you dont accept.
Autistic persons are overly sensitive to the environment and therefor read
others languages (unspoken) best. It's not psychic or anything just sensitivity to Light.
I cannot give you a perfect answer, just know angels are with you and you know what is right, just do what you have to do to fix it and be happy.
PS> the i cant prove it, i just know it syndrome. Its for real. But I cant prove it cause the truth needs no defense or proof.

Answer 5

Try rephrasing your question. Don't ask "Whats wrong?" Say "You look like you have something on your mind, want to talk about it?" Or "you don't look happy today, is there something I can do?" If he gives you a short answer like "I'm ok", then ask why he looks that way. Then ask him to smile for you. The change in facial expression should help you.
You must have realized by now that men don't like showing weakness and find it hard to tell you when they have a problem. Don't forget that you have feelings too and you should tell him how his looks make you feel.

Answer 6

I don't think this is because of any Autism on your part. These kinds of things are common with people, even married people. After all, something told you his appearance says "Something is wrong" and with Autism, as you mention, there is a difficulty detecting non-verbal signs and/or their meaning. So his non-verbal signs are noticable even to someone with a difficulty in that.

Autisitics are hardly the only ones who have trouble with social skills. Your husband is one of them. Doesn't he know that you have this Autistic tendency, and doesn't he know that you need more assurance than simply "Nothing is wrong" and doesn't he know that hey, maybe there is something wrong?

But don't make matters worse by pestering. Just accept it that he says nothing is wrong, sometimes it means he will work it out with himself if there is something wrong.

Answer 7

Relax, sweetie. Being married is challenging enough (going through a tough time here). If he loves you, and says that, and acts that, then you have to trust him...or what else do we have? We must trust or otherwise we drive ourselves insance with worry, don't we? And worry is the #1 cause of sickness in our country. Sooo, breathe deep, keep your head up, and it will all be okay. Be strong, too. Sometimes that is so hard. I feel ya, though, sister.-

Answer 8

Autism or not, husbands are just hard to read. Make sure he knows that it is ok to tell you if something is bothering him, then leave it. I know this is hard, but you just gotta do it. Men don't like to "talk about their feelings" like women do. Sometimes he's just thinking something that will eventually pass and if he told you what it was, you'd be more upset.

Answer 9

Mind over matter. All you can do is ask him one time and then no matter what, try your hardest not to ask again if he says that nothing is wrong.

Try to imagine yourself in his position, wanting to make your spouse happy, then from out of no where he starts asking you incessantly what is wrong.

You may not be trying to but if you keep on asking, you might be putting doubts in his mind that there isn't something going on with you. Alot of times human nature pushes us in the direction to accuse another of something that really we are guilty of.

Self control, a little insight, and alot of foresight.... that's what you need in order to stop.

Answer 10

I would try just not asking. Or maybe, tell him exactly what you've just said, and tell him that you'd really appreciate if he'd let you know when something is wrong, because you're having a hard time with it and don't want to cause problems. Good luck!

Answer 11

STOP ASKING HIM WHAT IS WRONG.IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HE WILL LET YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK.BUT SOMETIMES IF YOU KEEP ASKING SOMEONE IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG SUBCONSCIOUSLY THEY WILL START THINKING THAT THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG AND THE MIND WILL GO THROUGH A LIST OF PROBLEMS THEN WORRY WILL SET IN THEN THERE WILL BE SOMETHING WRONG AND IT IS AGGRAVATING FOR SOMEONE TO KEEP ASKING THAT QUESTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN.IF HE IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM WORRYING ABOUT SOMETHING HE HAS A REASON.
STOP...WORRYING RELAX LOVE HIM AND ENJOY THE TIME YOU HAVE TOGETHER.DON'T MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING.YOU CAN NOT READ MINDS SO LET IT GO..