Before boot camp, he was who I fell in love with. He came back a very changed man. I still love him. No doubts. But I miss the real him...and I have a government issued Marine to keep me safe.
2006-06-27 08:41:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before boot camp, he was who I fell in love with. He came back a very changed man. I still love him. No doubts. But I miss the real him...and I have a government issued Marine to keep me safe.
*edit* we've been together for over 2 years. its just been really recent that he's been so much more difficult to find. i want to be there for him, but it's hard because i'm not sure what he needs me to do.
2006-06-27 09:11:42 · update #1
The man you love is still there otherwise he would have left you. Trust me on that one. Boot camp especially the Marines is a life changing experience that is like nothing else. They break you down to your soul and rebuild you into someone that can love someone (like you) with all their heart, but can leave that person in a second to give his life for someone he does not know in a country he has only seen on a map. If you have only been together for 2 years then he has not been in that long. Give him time the real him will resurface in time. The first 4 years are the hardest and if he does not keep that hard shell on it will cost him and you. Give him time we all resurface eventually and we are better people because of it.
2006-07-09 22:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by Jedday 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The military "programs" you. Underneath it all though, he is still the same guy you fell in love with.
Now he has the ability to turn off emotions and check into a state of mind where he can protect his family and loved ones without thinking about it. Kinda scary but you obviously still love him and trust him to not hurt you.
May I suggest talking to him about the changes in personality display and how you would feel more comfortable if the trained solider were left behind during off duty hours? It might help him to understand what you are going through.
At the same time, he HAS changed a bit and has a new aspect o his life that he never had to deal with before. He needs to know that you DO still love him and support him.
Communication will go a long way to helping you out here.
2006-07-06 02:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Chris L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a marine husband and i know that once you go through the training you do change quite a bit. you become more focused and responsible for your own actions. you also grow thicker skin and a vulgar tongue. he is still the same man but a more improved version. he's not a robot, contrary to what people think. i'm sure he still has hopes and dreams for the relationship that the two of you have. you just have to get to know him again. get to know what his daily life is like now that he is in the marines. it's a whole different world and i'm sure if you ask him, he'll let you in and be glad to talk your head off about the things he's accomplished. ask him about the rank structure, physical exercise, etc. it'll be ok.
2006-07-09 14:52:12 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The marines are a special breed who are trained to be effective without sentiments. It is tough on you but he is the same guy you fell in love with. He is no longer drooling over you and can switch on or off. Tell him your fears and feelings and ask him to be a bit more like his former self when you are around. He is a tougher man now. You need to toughen up too.
2006-07-08 07:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone enlists in the military, they grow up VERY fast. The real him IS the the changed him. Give it time. Life is change and you will eventually change also.
Is there a support group you can join? If not, this is a great opportunity for you to start one. You would not only be helping yourself, but others as well. Hang in there!
2006-07-09 13:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by Padme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my father was in marines and he sure change alot and he left me when I was two years old and saw him again when I was 18 and disappred again and found out he died feb 2006 and. I said to myself I will never married to Military woman. becasue They do change alot and it sad to see that. and They are train to protect American and... the plm is that if he didn't go to boot camp he would be the same man you are in love. but once they do that .... I will always tell my son and my daughter never married to them and never join....I want my kids to have a normal lfe than change person for Goverment.
2006-07-09 01:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with it, the same man you fell in love with is stillin there. It takes some time to re-adjust after boot camp. If you really love each other you will make it. Welcome to the life of a military wife :)
2006-06-27 09:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by redladywolf55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you married a wuss and they turn him into a real man for you. WTG The United States Marine Corps!!!
2006-07-08 03:10:37 · answer #8 · answered by eddie9551 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The military molds men into what they need not you. Sorry, they are here for their country, thats all. I am sure he is still a great guy, but his new family is the USA.
dp
2006-07-07 04:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by mikemadie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All right, I must admit you have made your point very clear!
Likewise your wording is quite sound.
Perhaps we must give it a second thought and
Elaborate the other way around as well
Really do you want to get it right?
2006-07-08 12:19:37 · answer #10 · answered by Roland 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋