How do you show people who you really are, especially your parents when they don't want to hear what you say?

Question

My Mom doesn't know that I'm a Goth, I'm afraid to tell her, she only listens to me when what I say is what she wants to hear, and I don't want to get in trouble for making her mad. It's practically impossible to talk to her(really) but she says that I can talk to her about anything. I'm smart I'm not into drugs or alchohol but I like being Goth and It's hard for her not to notice that I wear black every chance I get. I can handle myself with everyone else except her and I know she's going to bring it up sometime, what should I do?

Answer 1

don't tell them your goth. they may have a different perception on what "goth" is.

dress the way you do & if they ask tell them that you just like dressing that way.

don't go full goth on day one.....slowly, slowly dress progressively more goth.

they will talk to you if they feel that it is inadequte

then just back it off a notch... you see you will still be dressing goth & you will still show them who you really are but maybe at a level that you both can accept.

hope this helps,

ss

Answer 2

Her house, Her rules, sucks but that's a dictatorship there. I've always been a metalhead, band shirts, long hair, my parents had a problem with it but i didn't care. For a girl it's a different storie though. I think their concern lies in the way Goth's are made to be seen. She feels like you might(even though you arent') into drugs and premarital sex, all they wanna do is keep you from getting hurt. Although it sucks that you can't express yourself in front of them, you can always do it other ways. In school, with friends, on the net with blogs and stuff. Just remember, when you have kids of your own, this will comeback to haunt you, cause they will probably look at you the way you look at your mom. Don't know what else i can say. E-mail me your decision on what you are gonna do, this is kinda interesting.

Answer 3

How doe syou rmom not notice that your constantly wearing black?
&&
If she does bring itup tell her its simply a taste in clothes..and that your ARE emotionally stable and dont use alchohol or drugs.
She should accept you for who you are.
I recently had to tell my mom I thought I was bi sexual and I was TERRIFIED but she said she would love me no matter what. The way i told her was through a note, but the sooner you talk to her by choice the better. Believe me, its a lot easir to talk to your parents if its something you want to do rather than being forced to sit there and listen.
You can contact me if you want.
uhm clik the little gray picture and then click contact ( whatever it says my name is ) and ill gladly talk to you. Oh yeah in case you were wondering im 14.

Answer 4

Stop playing dolly dress up and talk to her, what is Goth anyway but a way for people to draw attention to themselves. Don't be what someone wants you to be, be yourself.

Imagine going to a job interview dressed up as a Goth, do you think you'll get the job?

Answer 5

I am married I have daughter and son.. they only 3 and 2 years old and If My daughter come to me and tells me that she is Goth. I would listen to her what ever she or even my son or both. and If my daughter feel comforable I would do what she want to be. and I would go in the room and see things I never seen before like Posters or somethign I would ask my kids what is that? I know they will tell me stright up be honest. that all i care. don't want them to lie and cover it up.... I stand by my kids what ever they want to be.

I felt bad that your parents not want to listen to you what you have to say... If you were my daughter I would sit down and listen and I would ask really how that happen. Feel comforable??? and If you said not doing drugs or/and alchohol then I trust you 100 percent.

Tell her stright up and be honest and if she didn't liek what she want to hear. At least you say something and move on... Not fair for you to feel have to say what she want to hear. not to hear what you want to say. also if she bring it up just say sorry mom it not you and you didn't do anything me wrong just i like it and comforable and you should be glad, I don't do drugs, and alcholhol and not do sex.. tooo. If that happen i find other group who don't do those thing. You have to put the trust in me. You taugh me to be honest and have my trust.

Hang in there kid you doing ok.

Answer 6

are you got like dressing up all the way or just a bit here or there are you a happy goth or one of these who are depressing to be around
the goths i no are fun friendly and look the part you should tell mum your still her girl but you have your own life could it get worse if your honest with her

Answer 7

i totally know how that can be... moms are the hardest critic on us other than ourselves.... all parents say that we can talk to them about anything and most of the time its bull crap.... you cant ever stop being yourself for her bc you'll regret it forever.... i think that if it bothers you this much not to tell her, then you should make it perfectly clear that you don't do anything like drugs and alcohol, but you just cant help the way you are... now she may not be able to understand it, but at least you'll feel better... sooner or later she'll have to come to terms with the person you are just like you'll have to come to the person she is.... figuring out who people are and actually learning to live with it can be one of the hardest struggles in life, but hang in there and always always always be yourself...

Answer 8

for sure, what's stunning isn't that your mum and dad have an energetic intercourse life. what's quite stunning is the duality of the lifestyle we live in the place the single organic and organic prerequisite to even being a discern is made out to be some form of detestable pastime. in case you experience traumatized, it is when you consider which you adore your loved ones, even with the incontrovertible fact that by way of negligence or unlucky condition you have been misled as to the character of the beginning up of your loved ones and definitely of all households. Now you experience uncertain approximately what to believe. you purely experience as in case you have ignored a stair happening by way of fact of fake expectancies to start with. Open your eyes, re-orient your self, and additionally you will experience extra helpful and proceed with extra advantageous self belief. Your mum and dad love one yet another, and prefer each healthful couples who % to attain this they dance the horizontal mambo. as long as all events in contact gain this voluntarily and responsibly, it quite is a great difficulty. despite instincts you experience that permit you recognize in any different case are flawed and can be retrained on your individual welfare. seek your thoughts. might you experience betrayed in case you caught your mum and dad enjoying tennis jointly? Ballroom dancing? no person is being harm. no person is doing a difficulty against there'll. No hazard is being generated. yet 2 human beings experience chuffed and closer to one yet another as a effect. don't experience alienated by employing this revelation, cherish your friends and understand that the sounds you have heard and the glances you have seen are as organic and innocuous as eating supper. despite stress you have, that's all on your head and the made of a life-style that breeds puzzling double standards. stand up to the cartoonish stereotypes and want to stay interior the genuine international with something human beings.

Answer 9

Just be yourself, actions speak louder than words. Treat your parents with respect anyway because they are your parents. Try to be understand, maybe your mother is having a hard time understanding you and don't know how to act around you. It just may take time.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

Write it in a letter and express everything you want for her to hear in your own words...explaining why you have made this choice and why it makes you happy. Chances are your mother already knows and thinks it not a HUGE deal afterall...Good luck!