When my husband is on the computer, i ask him what he's doing. He's so vague and says just searching the internet. Then I ask what are you searching for? And he says stuff, if i ask again he will say I'm just checking bank accounts, football stuff etc....my husband gets angry at me when I ask for specifics and says what do I have to show you every single web page I was at?. He says that it makes him feel like I'm his mother or something when I ask him every little thing. But that is really not my intention at all, it's just my way of showing I'm interested in him, and he does not volunteer information. Can any men relate to this problem? And what can I do to keep from fighting with my husband in these situations? Help.
2006-06-27 07:45:38 · 23 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's not looking at porn guys, I've checked. He's really just looking at football things, etc......that's why he gets so pissed off.
2006-06-27 07:50:41 · update #1
What can I do to help this situation???
2006-06-27 07:53:16 · update #2
baby girl, if you really want to know go to the internet cache file or history file or cookie setting. but i'm sure you know the answer already.
2006-06-27 07:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of whether or not he is looking at porn or football or just looking up stupid stuff he is probably just looking for an outlet of some sort. This is his time to unwind or just escape. If he were reading the newspaper, Sports section would you be asking the same thing? He probably thinks you are not interested in the things he is looking at and doesn't want have to explain why he is.
If you keep pushing him he will get angry. If he is looking at stuff you don't want him to you can look at history, cookies etc. If that is the problem then you can find that out easily enough.
This may be more of a problem you are having with trust issues. Or you may not feel like you two are connecting. This should not be dealt with by asking the same question twice. If you want to keep from fighting with him bring this up at a different time where you two are out of the situation, explain your perspective and ask him for his side and listen... if it really is nothing but him just goofing around and uninteresting stuff you must choose to believe him or you have a bigger issue at play.
This is a communication issue that happens in every marriage in one way or another. Just talk don't accuse.
Good luck
2006-06-27 15:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by Max B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i can relate, and i hate my wife asking me all that stuff. You girls gotta stop asking. If you ask a guy what he is doing and he says nothing, leave it at that. If you keep asking him, he'll get mad. Same thing here, if he says just browsing, leave it at that, he's just browsing. If you want to know what he is browsing for, wait till he tells you, don't ask him all kinds of stuff. And so what if he is looking at porn, at least he ain't out looking for women, maybe it's your fault he looks at porn, maybe you don't give em enough. And if you search the history and find something he was watching that you don't like, go ahead bring it up, he'll have less respect for you because you are keeping tabs on him. Let a man have some space, we need some time to ourselves, not everything revolves around you girls. So what if we are wasting time, who are you to tell us how we should use our time. If you want us to do something, ask us, don't tell us. If we feel like it we'll do it, if not, then go away and leave us alone.
2006-06-27 14:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be looking at some stuff that he thinks you might not agree with, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I am asked this by my wife as well, I also show her what I am looking at, sometimes it's trashy stuff but I don't keep nothing from her intentionally. I would try going in the room with him and hang out or go in with a question about something and see if he gets annoyed with that. Good luck.
2006-06-27 14:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably is really just looking up "stuff"
It's a guys way of retreating into his cave to get some quite time. There are many ways we do this. Some fish, some golf, some hunt, some ride motorcycles, some tinker in the garage.
I play my guitar. I may never play a song all night long, and it may not even sound good. I'm just farting around and thinking.
2006-06-27 14:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so specific! You can show interest by saying "baby what are you doing" and that's it. Let him have his space. You think you are being caring but he sees someone checking in on him. Now if you have doubt about the internet check the history log - but then again this is opening up another can of worms.
2006-06-27 14:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by tlynnmcrae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...it depends. When I was living with my girlfriend, she often used to ask what I was doing when I was on the computer, and I'd be vague in my answers too. Mainly because what I was looking for was pretty boring (magnetics, business stuff, etc). I think it's just a normal male reaction.
2006-06-27 14:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jack Creighton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a BJ next time that'll get his attention. An ex BF of mine was doing the same thing. I started stripping infront of him and giving him BJ's. After a few times I was glad have some ME time and did not bother him.
Unless you think he's cheating on you.
2006-06-27 14:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't speak for women but I can speak for guys and I know when guys are concentrating on something, they don't want to be bugged unless it's important - and having to answer "what are you doing?" ain't important, it's a nuisance. And when he shoo's you away like an annoying cat, don't take it personal, it's just that he's busy and doesn't want to be bugged.
2006-06-27 15:02:56 · answer #9 · answered by jerryg1212 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds porn-related. Your best bet is to share this with him and make it something cool rather than some secret he's trying to keep.
2006-06-27 14:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋